kids

i used to believe that my stuffed animals had their own secret life. i thought that they slept during the day when everyone was awake but at night after everyone went to sleep they would wake up and throw a party.

I used to believe that it was possible to have an object that completely lacked color. I spent a lot of time trying to imagine what this would look like. I remember staring at my mom's car trying to picture it with no color. I'm pretty sure she was confused by my response when she asked what I was doing.

As a child I believed that some of my crayons felt neglected and desperately wanted to be used when I was colouring. I always felt particularly sorry for poor old brown, who didn't get much use, and tried to use brown even when I didn't want to.

I also felt sorry for brown Smarties and tried not to eat them last.

I used to think when my dad took me places all the buildings we passed were props made out of cardboard apart from the place we went to.The place we went to would have been built by my dad and his friends the day before (of course). I also believed that all the people we met on these days out were my dads friends and they were all acting a part in this and pretending they didnt know my dad and were in disguises. I never thought this with my mum.Must have been a trust issue.

I think I saw one too many killer doll movies because before I went to bed I used to talk to all my stuffed animals for a little while and then say goodnight to them. I had to make sure I gave them no reason to want to attack me in my sleep.

My mom tells me that when we used to play hide and seek, I would site in the middle of the floor and close my eyes. If I couldn't see myself, then neither could anyone else!

From the age of 3 i convinced my parents that i wasn't a human, i was a karrijack from the planet hotpoint (i got that name off our stove!) and humans hadn't found that planet yet so they didn't know about karrijacks. They lived in the "claus" (under the sheets) and had multicolor babies and talked in very high pitched voices and they carry things, like a postal service! Me and my mum were talking about this the other day and she admitted that for a while she actually believed me because i was so convincing and because she hadn't actually seen me been born ( i was born through cesarian)

When i was 6 i saw some people parachuteing on TV.
I thought to myself "I'd like to try that" so later that day, i attached myself to 100 or so tesco bags and jumped off my bunkbed.
Luckily i only broke my ankle

When I was a kid I couldn't understand for the life of me how skateboards turned. I never owned one and I thought the trucks were immobile, solid pieces of metal bolted to the deck. My best guess was that when you leaned into a corner, it placed more weight on the wheels on one side and made that side slow down causing you to turn, kinda like how a tank turns. I didn't have a full understanding of how skateboards turned until I was at least 9 years old!

when I was little my dad built me a sandbox in the backyard...and I would play in it but I dug too deep once and I swear to god something grabbed my hand. I was freaking out and my dad came to pull me out and I told him what happened and just to prove to me there was nothing there he dug out ALL the sand...it was hiding from him I said, so he lined the sandbox with a large sheet of aluminum so the sand monster wouldn't get me again and put the sand back in. I fucking hated that sandbox!

After I saw the movie "The Truman Show", I thought for years and years afterward that I, too, was being filmed in my every move. I would look into the mirror and say: "I know you're watching me!" I was always afraid to undress, because I thought that the scary Kristoff guy was a pervert and would spy on me. I talked to the film people a lot, and my mom once asked me why I talked to myself..
Coincidentally, a female friend of mine also believed the exact same thing, and once we set out to try to escape the "fake world". We were unsuccessful.

I have a stuffed cat named Sassy, and I've had her since I was four. One time when I was about six, I was at a friend's house and we were playing with Sassy and my friend's bear, Beary. We pretended they got brain amputation, and colored with red marker all over their heads. Then we cut off all their fur there. When his mom scolded us for ruining our stuffed animals, my friend replied nonchalantly, "Don't worry Mom, it will grow back." I believed it would for months and was mystified when Sassy remained clear-cut for over a year. Finally at age nine I realized that stuffed animals aren't alive, and they can't grow more hair if you cut it off.
I also cut another friend's Barbie's hair, and made her believe it would grow back like those Barbies in the commercials that have "growing" hair. She got really mad when she found out that her Barbies were terminally bald.

When I was little, I didn't realize that you needed a special material to make a parachute... I took a towel and put a corner between two toes on both of my feet, then I held the other two corners with my hands. I jumped off of one of the beds in my grandmother's house... and I landed flat on my stomach. SLAM!

I used to honestly, seriously believe that I was a cat. It didn't bother me that I didn't have a tail; that thought just never even crossed my mind. This little obsession got so bad that I began to actually act like a cat and not like a human at all: I would only meow, and would only run on all fours; never my legs, I would purr if someone petted me, (you know that purring thing some people can do with their tongue? that's what I did) and I would hiss and scratch and bite people. After a while it got so unbearably freakish that my mother took me to a child psychologist/doctor. I vaguely remember that I spent the session licking myself under a table, lying on the floor, and hissing when the doctor came near. She gave me some sort of medicine, I believe.
Thank God, I grew out of this! My brother still has scars from where I bit him..

I am 11 right now, but when I was about 8 I really wanted my stuffed unicorn named Markie to come to life, so I asked Santa. Santa said markie wanted to stay a stuffed animal so I was sad.

I use to believe that if I let the batteries die in a remote control car and leak and the car wouldnt work that it would eventually explode, so I hid it at the bottom of the toybox under as many toys as possible and didn't touch it waiting for it to explode.