language

I used to believe…

When my little cousin was two, she was the cutest, most innocent-looking child you had ever seen. She was tiny, with blonde hair and blue eyes and a sweet little voice.

Anyway, our aunt was getting married and this old woman came up to my cousin before the wedding, saying "oh, how cute you are, what's your name, sweetie?"

My cousin replied, in her angelic little voice, "f***ie you, bitch." Not so sweet anymore!

I used to believe…

My mother used to tell me that were only bale to say a million words in our lives. From the age of six, till i was around eight or so i kept a ver strict check on exactly how many words i had used, to the point where i even had a diary with ticks in for each word i had used....

I used to believe…

When I was in Kindergarten, I had the thought implanted in my mind "Say no to things you don't want, and say yes to things you do want". Well, I hadn't really learned the concept of "Would you mind?". One day my friend came up to me during class, and asked "Would you mind if I sat with you?" I responded "Yeah." because I thought saying 'Yes' meant 'Yes, she can sit here'...I was suprised when she suddenly got up & walked away o_o; One day during lunch, my teacher walked over to me, smiled, & said cheerily "You seem to be enjoying lunch, Melissa! Would you mind if I sat with you?" and as usual, I said "Yeah, sure!" cluelessly. Her face changed to one of a shocked & confused look, and she asked, "You don't want me to sit with you?" I looked at her as if she were crazy, and replied, "No! I just said yes!" And then she smiled, and corrected me.

I used to believe that L-M-N-O-P was pronunced 'Elemenopee'as one word. I believed this until I was in the third grade...

I used to believe…

up until I was 10 I never thought shit was much of a cuss word until I slammed my hand on the lunch table by accident and screamed "SHIT!". My friend told me it was a bad word and I laughed!

I used to believe…

when i was really young i was on the potty in the hallway and my mum was standing waiting for me. she said 'hurry up, there's a terrific draught coming down the stairs.' But i thought she said 'giraffe' and i jumped up and ran away as fast as i could!

I use to believe that silver was gold and vice versa. When my mother told me she was getting a silver car and it would be there when I came home from school, I spent all day in a state of nervous anticipation. I thought I would be coming home to a fantastical car made out of pure gold, glinting and gleaming in the summer sun. When my ride home pulled up and I saw a dull grey car sitting on the driveway my heart sank to my feet. After that I always took the things my mother promised with a pinch of salt (or was it pepper?).

I first learned the F word when I was around 12 years old. I thought it was a cool expressive word, one that my contemporaries and I had coined. At least I thought so until I used it at home one day. Sincerely believing that my parents would have no idea what the word meant, I called my brother an F'er, right in front of them! When I saw the horrified look on their faces, it began to dawn on me that they knew what the word meant! After a severe lecture and threats of other dire consequences, I learned to watch my language (at least around mom and dad).

i woz brought up a christian and one time i woz reading the bible and came across a bit that said thou shall not swear. now as a christian i knew i woznt suppose 2 swear (as in say S*** etc) but i took and meaning wrong and for about a year after i read it i never said i swear ill do something or ill be there i swear. never once did i say the phrase "i swear"

I used to believe…

Until I was about eleven, I thought that "the devil incarnate" was "the devil in garnet". So, until I learned the truth, I always pictured the devil wearing a red dress.

I used to believe…

ON my first day of primary school, i came home having learnt many interesting things. My teacher had a big poster that said "Everyone Smiles in the Same Language" I thought that this meant that there were many different kinds of smiling, not just the happy one that i knew. I figured that there were different ways of smiling to show each emotion, and that anyone in the world could understand them. I went home and announced to the family (we're Welsh and my grandparents, who lived with us, didn't believe in english in the home) that we could cut down on noise and everyone would understand each other if we all just used "smilese"

I used to believe…

When my brother and i were younger, we went through a "parrot" stage (as my mom called it)we used to mimic each other and other people when ever we could, and on our way to an amusement park one summer afternoon, my mother and fathere were talking about how more and more housing was coming into the area....particularly condiminiums. my fater looks at the development and say," Look at all the condos." and with out missing a beat my little brother exclaims right after, "Look at ALL the CONDOMS!!" needless to say my family burst into laughter including my brother and i...not realizing what he had really said.

I used to believe…

When I was young I assumed that 'yes' is always the positive response and 'no' always meant a negative response. So when someone would ask me "Do you mind if....blah blah?" I would get confused and instead of saying 'no' as in "no, i dont mind" I would say 'yes' as in what I thought to be "yes, i dont mind". I took me a while to pick up on why whoever was asking the question always looked at me as if I was a rude little brat.

I used to believe…

not mine, my kindergarten classmates's. i was always a VERY bright child (when i was 13 i found out from an actual iq test administered at a psychiatry place i was 99th percentile)and i always got very frustrated at my classmates. one day we learned to count above one hundred, and i was the only one who understood the pattern of 104, 105, 106, 107, 108, 109, 110, 111, etc. everyone else thought you went right to 200 after 109, and it ended up it a big argument between the class and i. i just kept yelling over and over, "two hundred is just two ONE hundreds! you have to count all the way up to ANOTHER hundred, not to ten!"

i used to be convinced that cats were called yaya's and no one could tell me otherwise! no one knows where i picked the word up from i just said it as a baby. i know better now [just]

I grew up on a small island in the South Pacific. I (we) mistakenly believed that the childhood game called Red Rover, was called Run Over. After all, you RAN over, right? Unfortunately, it wasn't until reminiscing with my adult friends in the U.S. that I discovered that something had gotten lost in the translation. It now makes sense to me why I received strange looks when trying to explain this great game we used to play as kids called Run Over. I was shocked that no one in the U.S. ever played it before.