language

I used to believe…

when i was three, my family moved from maryland to georgia. i thought they spoke a different language in georgia and before we moved, i kept asking my mom to teach me how to speak georgian.

I used to believe that bad words would kill my mom. I was so scared that I never said them until one day my brother had to take me with him to one of his 'debate club meetings'. I heard him say one and screamed, and yelled, 'you killed mommy!'

I used to believe…

Well it isn't really my belief but a couple of years ago me and my best friend were having a conversation, aware that my little sister was listening outside and would pick up anything we would say and apply it to her everyday language. My friend said the word 'f***' and from outside came a little gasp of disgust (hehe) and then i explained to my friend (loudly so my sister could hear that it was fine to say 'f***' because it was merely a ''naughtier'' term for sex.

Of course my sister isn't stupid (!) and she obviously knew that to tell someone to 'f*** off' was wrong. So a couple of days later my best friend and I were watching TV and down came my little sister who was going to go out with my mum. Now, my mum and my sister never get on when it comes to what type of shoes are appropriate to wear depending on where you're going and my little sister kept insisting she wanted to wear healed sandles.

My mum kept explaining to her until she eventually lost her temper with my sister and told her off.

My little sister looked over to me then back to mum and exclaimed 'well you can just sex off because i don't want to go out with you!'

I don't think i've ever laughed so hard in my life.

I used to always try to firgure out how to spell letters. i used to try and sound them out and spell them. i didnt understand how the letter U could be slept you but u couldnt spell M.

I used to believe…

Once when I was very young my uncle saved a person from drowning at one of our ponds. My grandma was so proud that her child could artifically inseminate someone back to life. She even told the newspapers this......it was years later that we told her that he artifically resesitated and not "inseminated" :)

I used to believe…

Took me a minute to realize that M-N-L-O WAS REALLY L-M-0-P

I used to believe…

My older cousin told me never to say the word 'poot'. He said it had the same meaning as s#$* and F&^@, and if I said it, my parents would burst into flames... 0.o

I used to believe…

My mum would never let anyone swear around my brothers and me when we were children, and if they did, she'd ask them to apologise to us for it. I learnt to speak very early but had a speech impediment for a few years. One day at pelican crossing, while we were waiting for the lights to change, a large and imposing lady walked up with her dog and ordered it to "SIT!"

Of course I looked up at her from my buggy and told her, "You sould apolodise to me for saying dat."

I used to believe…

When I was like 10 I read the word hibiscus and I thought it was pronounced hi-buck-shu-us and asked what it was and eventually my sister read what it really was and they still make fun of me now! :(

I remember asking my Mama if there were two "N"s in the alphabet: the first one falling between "M" and "O" and the other one between "Y" and "Z". Singing the alphabet, the "and" always sounded like an "N" to me :) Now I understand that there is only one!

I used to believe…

My little brother used to love swearing and even got to like the taste of mustard as my mum used it as a punishment for swearing. But when the Beatles single that went "Obladi-Oblada" was in the charts, he took great delight in singing the chorus at the top of his voice, then quickly declaring that it was ok to swear cos he was just singing the song. None of his older brothers and sisters dared to sing along even though we knew he wasn't really saying "bloody"!

I remember the first time I stayed up on New Years Eve was in 1983. When the clock struck twelve, I told my parents: 'now it's 2084', and was so proud about understanding the calendar system.

I used to believe…

When we used to go to Germany my dad told me about 'oerworms' (earworms) which means wen u get a song stuck in your head. until i was 14 i used to think earworm was a real english word. now i think bout it i must have confused a lot of people.

I used to believe…

Until the age of 11 or 12, I thought the term used in boxing for a punch that was delivered to the chin in an upwards motion was an upper-cunt. It was my pastor who corrected me at a Christmas party at the church; and told me what I meant to say was an upper-cut...

I remember one time I was riding in the car with my dad and I was showing off how high I could count (which must've annoyed my dad to no end) and I got stumped at 112...I asked what came next and he said, "Now you start over". So I thought 112 was the highest number possible until second grade. Good going, dad.

I used to believe that when my mum replied 'I wouldn't if I were you' she was actually threatening to 'fiver' me, which sounded pretty scary, so I never did the things I was asking her opinion on!