language

I used to believe…

In kindergarden, my teacher would always use the name "Sowenso" as an example for things. I thought that "Sowenso" was an invisible monkey that did the examples that she made him do. I thought Sowenso was in our class until 6th grade when I realized that Sowenso was actaully a phrase "So-and-so".

I used to believe…

When I was little, I really wanted something from a mail-order thing, so I took the form and filled it out... but there was something I didn't know about. On the form, it said "please print".

Now, at the time, I didn't know what cursive handwriting was, so I thought that it meant you had to put your fingerprint there to show that you really REALLY wanted what you were ordering! It was like saying "please mommy, can I have this?" Hence, a 'Please Print'.

I used to believe…

when i was about 4 i used to believe that 'on purpose' meant accidentally. whenever i spilled drinks i would shriek, "I did it on purpose, i did it on purpose!!!!"

I used to believe…

when i was about 6 or 7 i heard someone say the word "f**k" and later on asked my mum what it meant. She told me it was another word for poo....which was a bad idea really considering the next day at school i informed my teacher "you've got f***ed on!" in my innocent childish way, after observing that a seagull had pooed on her....

I used to believe…

When i was about 6 or 7 i went on holiday to Greece and met a friend from london (im from wales) and i was forever saying "go on, say somthink in london language" and she would say "i speak english the same as you" and i would say "wow..... thats amazing!!!!teach it to me"

I used to believe that once you learned a foreign language that when you heard it, it would translate into english. For anyone who didn't know the language it would just sound like weird words.

I don't remember how it started, but my sister once told me to "Carpe Denim" believing it was "Carpe Diem". I still tell her to "seize the jeans" and we get a big kick out of it.

I used to believe…

Around first grade when I was learning arithmetic I began to think of numbers as having these complex personalities and interactions. 2 was the funny one, 3 was kind of stupid, 5 was the wild & cool one, 7 was a stuck-up brat, 8 was shy & quiet, 9 was sophisticated, 1,4 & 6 were all mellow, easy to get along with types. Some numbers got along better than others. 7 was always huting the other number's feelings, especially 6 & 8. I used to feel sorry for 6 & 8 and wish they didn't have to be next to 7 all the time.

I used to believe…

When I was little i used to belive that other languages have to have the same mouth movements as english and rhyme and stuff. so when we were at the mall one day I overheard a woman speaking in spanish to her husband, I said "i know what you are saying" in "spanish" but it came out as "y go but poo far playing" sadly they could speak english 2. oopsies

I used to think it was really cool, after visiting France when I was younger, that they all spoke in code (French) so suggested to my cousin that we make our own up! He was 4 years older than me and I think he realised it was French but he still played along, we still use it today- about 15 years later!

I used to believe…

My mom told me that "shut up" was a TERRIBLY bad word, and that "piss" was completely HORRID! My mom also never told me what the word "fart" meant. I use all 3 of these terms CONSTANTLY now, even though my mom tries to drive it from my head.
I also used to believe (Without anybody's help but my own warped mind) that these terms were BEYOND the F-word magnified by 10. "Mind your own bisiness" "Mind your own beeswax" (These I use consistantly) and, this is hilarious and my parents still tease me about it now, "Your car smells like chocolate" (I don't say this one often)

I really needed help and I still do.

I used to think that "giving someone the finger" ment to litteraly give someone THE finger. I really thought that there was a golden finger being passed around! So, when someone said " You better stop or I'll give you the finger!" I was overjoyed !

I'm bilingual, and i can speak english and spanish because my mum always spoke to me in spanish. i couldn't actually speak english for the first few years of my life, and my mum always had to translate what i was saying to my dad. i was quite frustrated that i couldn't speak to my dad so i spoke to him in what i thought was english, but it was just spanish in an english accent!! (my godmother loves telling anyone who'd listen about this story!!)

I've often heard of "taking something too literally", but do we ever hear of taking anything too figuratively? Well, I have done precisely the latter. Growing up, I repeatedly heard the phrase, "Go wash your mouth out with soap and water!", spoken, for example, when someone had said a "dirty word". I always thought that was clearly a figure of speech, and that surely no one had ever been literally required to do that. It wasn't until my first part-time job during college that I heard a co-worker speak of how her mother used to make her wash her mouth out with soap and water. Something about the context in which she was telling it seemed to indicate that her mother made her LITERALLY do that. So I asked her, and she assurred me that indeed her mother used to make her LITERALLY wash her mouth out with soap and water. I was astonished to learn that that was ever more than an outlandish figure of speech.

I used to believe…

My Dad told me that a cuss word was a word that you should never ever use, or something terrible would happen to you. I don't remember how I came to know which words were the "bad" one's. But I remember sitting on the toilet repeating every cuss word I knew and telling myself to never ever say them aloud.

I used to believe…

When I was 7, I found out that the middle finger was bad. So I started walking around with all my fingers up except my middle finger. I thought that it meant the reverse of the middle finger. When my hand started getting tired, I quit, and that was the end of it, except I would do it for about 2 seconds until I realized that I was being weird.

I used to believe…

My friend convinced me he was American and i used to bug him every day - "Go on, say something in American" and he'd make up some random gibberish and I really thought he was speaking American. We're both English. I believed all the cop shows like Kojak were set in London and those were London accents.

I used to believe…

When I was younger I would say "cheese and crackers got all muddy" becasue thats what i thought i heard my parents say. In the end they were saying, "jesus christ and god all mighty". woops.