language

I used to believe…

When my cousin was about five the word truck and the "F" word sounded the same out of his mouth. One day we were at the beach and a truck drove behind a bench where a couple was kissing and he ran over pointed and yelled "Look mom a big f***"

i used to think gymnastics was a person named Jim Nastics. I couldn't understand how he could be at the local youth club AND on TV in the same day- and i could never figure out who he was when i watched it.

I used to believe…

When I was about 7 or 8, we had to look up lists of words for homework. One of my words was 'infiltrate' and the definition I found was 'To enter secretly with an unfriendly purpose.' Somehow I misread it as 'To enter secretly with an unfriendly porpoise' and I wondered why somebody had made a word for that, as it couldn't be that common.

I used to believe…

When I was in the 2nd grade I was in religious ed. with my mum teaching, and someone had written "F--- God" on the board, and it looked like my mother's handwriting. So I said "What's ---- mean?" She got a really, really angry look and told me to ask her after class. I still thought it was a religious word and was quite perplexed. In the car on the way home she told me it meant "sex in an angry way." After seeing my first rated R movie, I didn't understand all the talk about "'sex in an angry way' you" but I got the main idea after hearing some playground talk.

A year later, I stuck up my pinkie and some girl told me that it was a dirty gesture because she thought it was my middle finger and refused to be my friend. For years after that I thought sticking just your pinkie up was really, really bad.

I used to believe…

When I was young I believed that the word hypnotize, was actually spelt Hitlertize because I had only ever seen Nazis in my war comics trying to hypnotize people

I think it was year 1996 ... a mate told me that button [SMS] in some homepages means a link to (S)ado(M)asochist (S)hop ...

i used to think there were two n's in the alphabet. the normal one plus one in between y and z because when you say y and z it sounds like y n z

I used to believe…

When I was 6 I was so impressed with myself knowing cuss words, so I bragged to my 5 year old cousing "I know the F word and you don't!" He said "There IS no F word!" I told him what it was and he was like "F**K is not a bad word!" I called him "stupid" so he went running inside to tell his mom that I said the "S" word and ask if there was an "F" word. I was so embarrased that I hid in the closet for 2 hours. Lol.

I used to think 'elleminopee' was a letter of the alphabet. It came right after K and before Q.

(Think about it.)

I used to believe…

When I was about three, my parents and grandparents took me to a restaurant. One of the rules my mother had was that no one was ever allowed to say curse words around me. But you can't stop people from saying things when they're angry or upset.

So, we're in this restaurant, and I spill a big glass of water. Then, in the loudest voice I could manage, I yelled the most vile stream of curses I could think of.

"DADGUMMIT LORDY ME I SWEAR!"

We still laugh about this today. I'm 38.

I used to believe…

When I was little, my dad always cursed around me. Well, eventually I picked up his words. I thought they were everyday, friendly, common words that wouldn't hurt anyone. So on my first day of kindergarten I shouted "Hi Mrs. Brooks! You look very bitchy today!" I got sent to the principal's office who then asked me why I said those things. I told her "I was just bein so damn nice!"

I used to believe…

My ex-husband and I share custody of our 11-year-old daughter, but the relationship is a difficult one. This past summer, my ex tried to stop me taking my daughter to visit her grandaprents abroad. I decided to be honest with my daughter and told her that her father was trying to stop the trip, but that I would try to talk him into it.

Later that week, I found some crumpled up pieces of paper in my daughter's room. Over and over she had written, "I hate my dad. He's a tourist." Flummoxed, I tried to work out what on earth she was talking about. Until it dawned on me: she meant 'terrorist'. I laughed so hard I fell over.

(Mind you, she wasn't far off the truth!)

I used to believe…

My sister was learning the alphabet, which was pretty funny in itself, she'd go "A G K R Y V W, S T..." and then, somewhere in the middle of the mess, she'd scream "Elmo!" (lmno) It was SO funny!!!

I used to believe…

When you're 2 and a half, you pretty much take at face value anything an adult might happen to utter around you. Your mind is a little sponge, soaking up the new and different, and language is an adventure. Indeed, I was praised for my quick uptake of new words. Hence, I believed I was in for lots of cuddles when I demonstrated my grasp of the vocabulary taught to me by my grandfather when I told my father that the stubborn bolt he was trying to loosen was, in fact, a c*%&sucker. I can still remember the way his mouth opened but nothing came out...

i heard a new word at school one day, 'twat', and decided that it was a cross between a twit and a prat, quite funny i thought and didn't quite understand why my mum got so angry when i jokingly called her one

I used to believe…

A few years ago, I was at my aunts house visiting. Well, she was a little annoyed at my cousin (who was about 6 at the time) always saying the word "aint". So me and my sister told her that we had a friend who used that word and she got so sick she had to go to the hospital. I only heard her say the word about once the whole rest of the time ;)