language

I used to believe…

My father started to teach me English when I was about four or five years old. I could already read and write Finnish - my first language - and I was picking up English quite fast - in the speaking department, that is.

When my father wasn't watching, I tried to write down some English words. I just didn't realize that in English words aren't spelled the way they are spoken (as opposed to Finnish). This is the way I jotted down some of the words:
A bird = � b��d
A cat = � kh�t
A girl = � g��l

I used to believe…

When my sister was very young she asked "Is good Friday next Thursday?" and my daughter, when she was a toddler, told us "I aways clean my teeth, sometimes, never."

I used to believe…

When I was about 10, I would play "lawyer" in my room. My mom came in one day and saw on my "legal papers" the word prostitute. I had gotten confused between the words prostitute and prosecute.

I used to believe…

When me and my sister were younger my mom told us that people that lived in the Bahamas spoke Bahamanese. She also told us that fish from China because they were slanted eyed.

I used to believe…

when i was 10 ,i used to think that " uranus " is a planet. but actually it's not anymore. it means your anus .

I used to believe…

When I was young, my grandparents had a mutt named Princess. At one of my birthday parties, my grandmother and great aunt were discussing Princess Di. Having only heard a part of the conversation, I burst into tears thinking that my beloved dog Princess had died.

I used to believe…

When I was very young I knew all the swear words, I also knew my parents would punish me severly if I got caught saying any one of them. Then I heard my mom say "shit" when she thought she was alone, she had this evil look in her eye that scared the crap out of me. It took me 10 years to realize that even if I had uttered a swear word, my mom wouldn't have thrown me down like she did with the phone all those many years ago!

I used to think that the alphabet went like this: ABCDEFGHIJKL *a minnow* P...

I used to believe…

When I was in a scout group, one of the scout leaders said "shit" accidentally, and I asked her what she'd said, so she covered by saying she'd said "seventy-two". We were having fun with this and going around saying "Oh, seventy-two!" like it was a bad word.

I used to believe…

No one told me about 'colonel' being pronounced 'kernel'. As a kid I used to tape-record things for my grandparents who lived far away, and I did my favourtite poems: one of them was 'Colonel Fazackerly Butterworth Toast, bought an old castle complete with a a ghost'. My parents were killing themselves listening to me scan 'colonel' (it got a lot of mentions in the poem...)

I used to believe…

When I was about 5, I thought "beer" was a profanity, and (wait for it) smacked a family friend on the lips for saying the word-- I was actually offended! Boy, did he look confused.

I thought, in kindergarden, in order to read a book you had to read the page then turn it around and wave it back and forth. Little did I know the teacher was just showing us the pictures and it was not required if you were reading to your self.

I used to believe…

My grandmother used expressions such as "Hold your tounge" and "Keep your shirt on."

I remember holding my tounge for about 5 minutes before I asked if I could stop.
Or holding down my shirt incase it accidently flew off.

I once developed this belief that you only got a certain number of words in your lifetime. I got very worried I was using them all up at a very young age, and I wouldn't have any left when I was older, so I would be mute. It made sense- everyone was always telling me to be quiet! I decided to try and save them, so I wouldn't talk for a week, until I promptly forgot about it and went back to my normal mouthy self.

I used to believe…

When I was six, I had some cousins whose parents were very strict with them in most everything. I remember saying to them "No way, Jose!" From their reaction, I ended up beleiving the name Jose was an actual swear word for a few years after.

I used to believe…

Believe it or not, I used to believe the word gullible was fake and went off telling everybody it wasn't in the dictionary. It took me years to find out that the saying "gullible isn't in the dictionary" was only a joke, and the people I told it to thought I was just saying that joke rather than really meaning it.