language

I used to believe…

My parents would refer to bowel movements as B.M.s. I don't think I figured out that it was an abbreviation until I was in high school (I guessed that it was a word spelled sort of like "be-em," but could get no straight answer regarding this). Sometime later, one of my younger brothers used the term "B.M." around some friends at college, who had never heard the expression before in their lives! They were delighted with this new ersatz "bad word," and took to using it in creative ways. "Anyone in the bathroom?" "I am! I'm B-ing M!"

I used to believe…

Up until kindergarten I believed that English was a foreign language and that the language I spoke had no name. Once we sang a song in English then sang the translation in Spanish. After the Spanish version I announced to the teachers/class that I wanted to sing in English. When they said we already had I became very angry and started to argue. I said that I already knew what Spanish, French, and German sounded like and that no one had ever spoke to me in English. I became very concerned that people were trying to "hide" English from me for some reason. It took a few more weeks before someone figured out what I was thinking.

I used to think that "crap" was not even mildly offensive and that "shit" wasn't a cuss word, up until I was about 6 and a half. Until then, I'd occasionally mutter
"shit crap" under my breath when I was angry. How ironic that they mean the same thing, so I was essentially saing "poop poop!!!"

I used to believe…

the old sonic sign said "happy eating" at the bottom. For a while as I was learning to read i thought it said happy easter until i asked my mom why they never took the sign down

I believed that "hamster" was spelled "hampster". I didn't believe Mum, even when she showed me the correct spelling in the dictionary. I assumed the dictionary was wrong.
This is from the same child who could spell "chameleon" at age 5. Most of the kids I knew didn't know what a chameleon was.

I used to believe…

At age 7 my daughter had great fun shooting "baby guns" at summer camp (well, they were little and that's what I thought the counselors were saying", she explained. Okay I can see that but this next one???

Her and her friends thought that being "raped" meant being attacked with a garden implement, in other words *raked". I chose not to correct them on that one....they figured it out themselves when they were old enough to know.

I was nearly ten when I found out that
'Clairvoyant' wasn't an 'agony aunt'

I used to believe…

For years I believed that "giblets" was a made-up word my parents used to describe me and my siblings. My maiden name was Gibbs, so "giblets" obviously meant "little Gibbses". It makes perfect sense. I was in my teens before I figured it out.

I used to believe…

Whilst going on holiday once, my mother starting talking about how emigrating really appealled to her. My sister who was only young at the time came out with the classic line.... Who's Emma Grating? thinking that mum was talking of a person.

I used to believe…

6 year old : I want to watch this film!
Dad : No you don't. It's about romance.
6 year old : So?
Dad : You don't like romance.
6 year old : What's wrong with romance?
Dad : Do you even know what rhe word means?
6 year old : Sure I do! People who live in Rome!

I used to believe…

For the longest time I'd read the word "colonel" in a book without realizing that it's pronounced 'kernel'.

I used to believe…

When I was in highschool, some friends of mine learned German, and they carefully looked up in the dictionary how to be abusive in German. They used to say to each other (and anyone else who wouldn't slap them) "du bist eine runzel hahn" -- meaning "you are a wrinkled cock".

Once I was in University my family had a Swiss exchange student come and stay, and somehow this came up with her. She at first looked puzzled, and then said "why did they find it so offensive to call each other wrinkled rooster?"

I opened the car window a crack and my mother told me to shut it because I'd "catch a draft," which I interpreted as "catch a giraffe." I didn't question the sense of it, and just assumed it meant "to get a chill." I think I must have been learning about idioms at the time ("have a cow", etc.), because it seemed perfectly natural to have an expression that made no sense literally.

I used to believe…

When I was little, I thought the phrase "taking something for granted" was actually "taking something for granite" - made sense to me (and kinda still does)

I used to believe…

When i was young about three or four i use to like kentucky fried chicken but i had torouble getting my tongue around kentucky so i use to ask my grandma if we could go to fucky fried chicken. I think she came close to a heart attack every time i said it

I used to believe that the letter P, in the alphabet song, was very special, because when you sung the song it sounded like you were supposed to say: ...H,I,J,K,"elemeno" P...(say it out loud). I thought the word "elemeno" meant something very special about the letter P. I later realized that I had been stringing the letters L,M,N and O into one sound...it's funny, cause it never occurred to me that those letters were not in my alphabet song, even though I knew they existed.