language

I used to believe…

Though I knew that numbers were just numbers, negative numbers were somewhat evil to me. They messed up entire equasions by changing signs, and were just plain evil. I always liked cancelling negatives or adding larger positives to negatives to make them positive. To this day, I still enjoy getting rid of negatives.

I used to believe…

When I was in kindergarten I was proud that I could spell my name. I showed my teacher a drawing that I had signed, and she told me to "use a capital letter." I wasn't sure what she meant, but since I lived in Madison, the capitol of Wisconsin, I drew a picture of the Capitol building behind my name.

I used to believe…

When I was about two, I was reaching on top of a table for a balloon. It was just out of my reach, so my mother told me to "stand on your toes." This of course made me very confused, but rather than risk not getting the balloon, I proceeded to literally put one foot on top of the other, which I assumed was how people "stood on their toes."

I used to believe…

When I was young, I though the actors and actresses should be able to speak in all languages, because I had seen the Dallas in Turkish, English, German and Arabic TV...

I used to believe…

when my grandmother would want my mother to telephone her, she'd always say "Give me a ring". I thought she was literally telling my mother to buy her a ring. Since my mother would always agree, I imagined my grandmother to have some HUGE stash of rings omewhere...

I thought that everyone knew every lanuage there was in the world. So I used to watch Asian or Mexican TV to see if I could understand it but I couldn't. I asked my dad if he could tell me what they were saying but even he didn't know. So from that point on I thought you had to be of latino desent to speak spanish or asain desent to speak any of those languages. I thought if I was caught trying to learn any other language the States might send me to Japan or Germany or something

I used to believe…

When I was about 4, I had "male" and "female" reversed in my head. Somehow it made sense to me that boys would have a little something extra attached ;).

I used to believe…

As a young elementary-school student I thought you pronounced POLAND (the nation) as Pah-land (short O sound). To this day my father still ribs me about this.

I used to babysit for a little girl, Katherine, and when she was about 2 1/2 she would say that "this is mys" - it made perfect sense to her: if something that belonged to you is "yours" then if it belonged to her, it must be "mys".

I used to believe…

When I was young, I used to love Sesame Street and the small bits of Spanish they taught you. So when I was about five I knew that 'hola' meant 'hello'. So one day I asked my mom if there were any more ways to say hello. So she explained to me that almost every country had it's own language and own way to say hello. She then gave me examples of other languages...in Germany they speak German, in Japan tey speak Japanese, and so on. I listened intently, and replied: "Oh. We just speak regular here, right?"
Typical American kid :-)

I was shockingly old - in my twenties, even - when I finally understood the joke "What's black and white and read all over?" "A newspaper"

Of course, written down, it's not so tough to work out...

I remember I thought the phrase "Amen" was a curse word...because my uncle was a mean, redneck guy who cussed all the time, and he used to always say "Hey Man" which sounds like "Amen"
So I thought that phrase was also a curse word along with the F-word and everything else he said all the time...SO the first time my grandmother asked me to say a prayer...I said it...but left out the "Amen" then she told me to say it. I freaked out and told her not to curse or God would be mad at her. She was VERY confused...I explained everything...she DIED LAUGHING...then assured me it was okay to say it...so I said it REALLY quick under my breath because I still felt bad for saying it.

I used to belive that handicapped meant you were especially smart and talented.

I used to tell my parents friends that I was handicapped!

I used to believe…

As a child, I was a voracious reader. Unfortunately, I didn't read aloud to anyone to correct my pronunciation. For years, I thought the word "awry" was pronounced "ow-ree". Hearing the word "awry" in conversation did nothing to dispel this belief. I jsut assumed they were two separate words.

I frequently misheard/misunderstood song lyrics when i was a kid. For example:

the alpahbet: "h, i, j, k, ellomellopee..."

jingle bells: "jingle all the way...elmer fudd it is to ride on a one-horse open sleigh.."

:P

I used to think the word "stag" meant naked. I was shocked to hear my Baptist preacher father announce from the pulpit that the men's prayer breakfast would be held in our home, and that the men needed to "come stag".