language

I used to believe…

Used to go around my school classes and brag to people that I read "War and Peace" (being of course famous or infamous for its horrendous length). It was a lie... and I know I was just a kid, but I guess I didn't realize it was such a LAME thing to brag about.

ME: "I read War and Peace!"
THEM: "Nice, want to play Legos?"
ME: "I READ all of it! War and Peace!"
THEM: "Uh, okay. Cards?"
ME: "Tolstoy is cool, WAR!"
THEM: "Okay, you nerd."
ME: "And PEACE!"
THEM: *goes away*
ME: "I think I shall read it again!"

You may have, by now, gauged my level of popularity back then.

I used to believe…

In elementary school, I was smart and skipped a grade in reading, spelling and grammar classes. I read all the time. My favorite books were the Ramona Quimby series.

Despite my intelligence, I read the entire series (probably 10+ books) thinking that Ramona's sister's name was pronounced "Beat Rice."

My mother finally punctured this delusion during a discussion of a book in the sixth grade. Beatrice... Beatrice... OH...Now I see.

I used to think there were two of the letter "n" in the alphabet. When you are taught the alphabet, you go by the sound. So when you sing the abc song there's "l,m,n,o,p" then you get to "x,y,and z". Well, I always thought people were saying, "x,y,n,z". It took me awhile to figure that one out.

I had never heard the name pronounced, so I always said Zsa Zsa Gabor, "Zeesa-Zeesa Gay-bor."

I used to believe…

My mother didn't curse much, but occasionally would say "damnation". I always thought it was two words: "damn nation" and couldn't figure out what the country had to do with her cutting her finger (or whatever had caused her cursing).

I used to believe it was "hand cups" and "bolly ball".

I used to believe that, even though people from other countries spoke different laguages, everyone thought in English.

I remember the loudest thing ever on TV. It was on Friday night, at probably 9:15 or so, just as the latest episode of Mannix was really getting underway. The camera would cut to a shot of a big, black, heavy telephone (so common then), and it would ring like all the church bells in the world going off at the same time. This happened at least once every episode.

I'd be sound asleep on the floor in my jammies by then, after having gorged myself on popcorn and my own 16-oz. bottle of Coke (in the original curvy glass bottle). I'd practically leap up to the ceiling in fright.

We kids thought Mannix was the last word in extreme TV, because there was something in one of the constant commercials for the show (it was quite the hit back then) about how he "had the guts to get the job done."

The worst phrase any of us had ever used was, "I hate your guts!" and we all knew how much trouble we'd get into for saying it. So it seemed that "guts" was the key word, because you could say, "I hate broccoli!" without the Four Horseman (with my mother at their head) riding down on you. So we were awed that we could hear this awful word spoken, right out in front of everything, and nobody got yelled at.

On another note, my younger brother referred to Clarence on The Mod Squad as the "The Chocolate Man." At age 4 or so, nothing could convince him that poor Clarence wasn't like one of those solid chocolate Easter bunnies.

I used to believe that translating from language into language was only a matter of changing letters ! :)

I used to believe…

One of my children used to believe that the Pulitzer Prize was spelled Pullet Surprise

I'd almost forgotten about this until I read this site, but I used to believe that the reason for AMBULANCE being written backwards (somebody else already mentioned it) was so Russians could read it.

I used to believe…

Two things. My brother thought "gaining" and "gagging" were interchangeable, but he'd use the wrong. For instance, running ahead of me down the stairs he would shout back, "I'm gagging on you."

Up until just a few years ago, I'm 29, I thought cartwheel was named after a gymnast rather that it being named after how it looks when you do it comparing to an actual cartwheel. In my defense there are a lot of gymnastic and skating moves named after the first people who did them, but that doesn't stop friends and family from chuckling, "Oh, like Bob Cartwheel?"

I used to believe…

I was quite shure that if I just spoke enough "sounds like english but certainly is not", I would speak beautiful english as a grown up.
I did. And now I don�t.

I used to believe…

When I was a kid my teacher said, "Children, if you feel the need to vomit, just go immediately to the bathroom -- you do not have to ask me for permission first." I always thought that she said "bomb-it" for vomit. It made perfect sense to me because that's exactly what happens when you throw up. It wasn't until third grade that I actually learned the true spelling of the word.

I used to believe…

On a road trip through California countryside, I pointed out a beautiful hillside of orange Poppies..."Where, Where?" my 2 year old frantically demanded, "I can't see the orange puppies!!" It reminded me of the time when I was a kid on a trip with my family. My dad pointed out a Baskin Robbins, and my MOTHER said "I don't see any basking robins!" And she was serious, too!

I used to believe…

When I was 8 or 9, I thought my mom went to choir practice every week. I thought that was strange, since she couldn't sing, and we didn't even belong to a church. It wasn't until years later that I figured out that she was going to the chiropractor.