language

I used to believe…

When I was 8 years old we had a really hot summer (I lived in Oklahoma), and I walked home from school and I thought I was having a stroke. I was just dehydrated. Anyway, I started drinking water really fast. My brother walked over to me and said "Careful, you'll hydrate yourself."
Until about two months ago (I'm 19), I thought hydrating yourself meant killing yourself.

I used to believe…

There was a raging argument in my second or third grade class about whether infinity or a googol is the biggest number, and whether infinity exists at all. First someone had to tell me about infinity, but I was "pro-infinity" till the end.

I used to believe…

When I was in third grade, I had lots of Playmobil toys (dolls and all the furniture and stuff for the world they live in) and one thing was a box that said No. 28 (number 28). I thought that said "No 28" as in 28 had been removed from the counting sequence. My image of 28 for some reason was this really nice teacher who taught all the lower numbers until she spontaneously exploded! Poor 28! To this day 28 is my favorite number (followed by 48 and 8, but I have no explanation for these).

I was 14 years old and my mother was talking about veterans day coming up. I looked at her and said " ya know mom, I have never understood why they have a day to celebrate Veterinarians...I mean it's great that they take care of animals but why is it so special to everyone?" My mom started laughing so hard I thought she was going to pee her pants- literally rolling on the ground. When she finally could gather herself she looked at me and said "is that what you have thought your whole life?" and then started laughing again. Took her about 30 minutes before she would explain that I was wrong....I felt like an idiot!

I used to think that a dual carriageway was a "jewel carriageway" and was studded with diamonds, rubies and sapphires! Then one day on a journey my mum said something to my dad about stopping for our picnic lunch, and he said "Wait till we get off this dual carriageway." I realised we were actually on one, and not a diamond in sight. It was a terrible disappointment. I've never got over it

I used to believe…

When I was little I thought the X-ing sign (like duck x-ing... we have a lot of ducks in our town) was pronounced like Zing. I always wondered why they zinged the ducks.

I used to believe…

My mom and dad told me that numbers go up to infinity when i was 5 so when i was 12 after i got to the 1000's i'd go infanty the end and my classmates would say what about one million and i'd say who would make something as stupid as that up retard numbers only go up to infanty and my teacher says no they don't stop they go on to infinity and i would say that's what i said and he didn't believe me she said infanty isn't the end of the alphabet and i would say abviously i need to teach the class

I used to believe…

When i was 5 i would watch full house and when Michelle said heck i would cover my ears and say she is bad she said a curse word and my mom would giggle but keep watching and my sister would say that's not a bad word what the heck is your problem and i smacked her in the head my mom then told me that wasn't nice to do to my sister and heck wasn't a curse word oh i said why the heck you didn't tell me

I used to believe…

my mom used to say you spell Mississippi M-I-crooked letter-crooked letter i-crooked letter-crooked letter-i-hump back-hump back-i so when i wrote it in school it was really long and my teacher would tell me and i told her to shut up because my mommy was smarter than her so she called my mom to pick me up for yelling at her and stuff and i said mommy my teacher doesn't know how to spell Mississippi and she finally told me "crooked letter" meant s and "humpback" was p yep i was looking pretty stupid

I used to believe…

I used to believe that the Pok�mon psyduck was pronounced 'pussy-duck'

I thought that "bigot" was a swear word because I heard someone call someone else that as an insult (which i guess it is but I didn't know what it meant, figured it just meant jerk or asshole or something)

I used to believe…

Until relatively recently (I think i was about 17 and I'm 25 now) I thought the saying "up and at em" was "up and Adam" since I heard it but never saw it written down.

I was really taken aback when someone told me what "toe jam" actually means. Before that, I had heard the term quite a few times, always thinking it was the name of some rock band.

I used to believe…

When I was just learning the alphabet, I thought there was an actual way to spell every letter in the alphabet. For example I though "X" was actually spelled ex.

I used to believe…

When I was much younger, I was talking to my dad and my sisters about skipping school, and my dad referred to it as 'wagging school'. I misheard him and said, loudly and exitedly "I want to wank!"

I used to believe…

When I was 8 or 9 there was a very unpleasant girl in my class. She was on my bus and lived at a place called "____ Manor," so I thought that's where they sent the really bad kids to learn their "manners." Every time my parents yelled at me for misbehaving, I thought that they didn't realize how fortunate they were to have me: at least I wasn't so nasty that I had to be sent to a manor!