language

I was born in 1940, and was approaching age 5 when World War II ended. During the war, the Japanese were called "Japs." Naturally, when I discovered that we were also fighting the Germans, I made the leap and determined that "Germs" must be short for "German." For a while it made sense to me that the Germs were making people sick.

I used to believe…

At my elementary school we routinely sang "O Columbia, the gem of the ocean." I heard this as "Columbia, the jam of the ocean." I understood this to mean that America had got in Columbus' way when he tried to get to India. Sort of like a traffic jam.

I used to believe…

As the youngest, at 5,of about a dozen cousins visiting us on our farm in 1951, I was the one who, wanting to be like the older kids, said "damn it!" in front of the grownups. My Mom washed my mouth with the suds from a bar of green Palmolive soap. I always think of it when I see 'A Christmas Story'.

I used to believe…

In the early 1950's long before we had a TV, I would read my older brother's comic books, and I thought Yosemite Sam was pronounced yose mite. I was a teenager before I heard it said correctly.

I used to believe…

One time when I was younger my family went out to dinner at a restaurant right next to a store called David's Bridal (wedding store, obviously). I did not know what "Bridal" meant, but I did know that you put a "Bridle" on a horse when you wanted to ride it. So I concluded that David's Bridal must be a horse store. It didn't help that there was a large statue of a horse nearby.

I used to believe…

haha counting... when i was little- before i really knew how to count- this is how i would add or subtract:
24-4=2
50-0=5
31-3=1
get it? i'd just take that number away... haha so stupid!

I used to believe…

When I was little, and we were sneaking around trying to be quiet, everytime I peered out into the hallway or around a corner, I would whisper "The ghost is clear". My brother or friends, never knew I was saying "ghost" instead of "coast" because I was whispering, so they didn't correct me. It was a really long time before I discovered it was "coast". I was embarrassed.

I remember one time when I was in kindergarten I couldn't comprehend what the teacher was saying after she counted to 12 because the next number was 13 and in my head I heard it as being three saltines as in the crackers. So ever time my teacher would ask whats after tens I said Saltines.... maybe that's why I was left back

I used to believe…

When I was 6 or 7I thought that American was a totally different language, despite the Simpsons, and other cartoons, having American accent, yet speaking in English.

I used to think veternarians and vegetarians were the same thing. In my mind, veternarians didn't eat meat because they loved animals. It seemed logical at the time.

I used to believe…

When I was in middle school I had to write a paper for English. I remember my mom proof read it and looked at me confused and asked me to clarify by the phrase "I ran next store to borrow bread". I guess each time people would say "next door" I heard "next store". I remember arguing with her about it because I knew I was RIGHT!
It was a harsh reality that day!

I used to believe…

These still trip me up sometimes:

Pizza Hot = Pizza Hut

Holland Oats = Hal and Oats

Entire State Building= Empire State Building

Crackle Barrel = Cracker Barrel

I always had trouble with spelling and reading. I learned all of the rules but that never seemed to help. I was so proud of myself when I learned that "shun" was spelled "tion". So in my mind "otion" definitely spelled ocean.

I used to believe…

We always passed an antique store on the way to my grandma's house. I always thought to myself, "What is an anti-q store and what in the world would they sell there?"

I used to believe that the expression "old-timey" was actually "old Tommy." My great uncle's name was Tommy and with my mother's thick southern drawl, "Tommy" and "timey" sounded very similar.

I thought this until I was at least 12 or so.

I used to believe…

In Holland we have a sentence when you are scared by a sudden noise or something. I was sitting at the backseat of my mothers bike when someone drove by so fast my mother shouted out 'I scared me a hat!' I remember looking at the sky seeking this hat. I thought it should float somewhere.

I used to believe…

When I was little, I thought that all translations had to go through English- for example, if you wanted to translate something from Spanish to French, you had to translate it into English first.

I think this is because I only ever saw Spanish-English and French-English dictionaries.