language

I used to believe that "Meningococcal" was pronounced "Ninja cockel."

I used to believe…

When I was about two or three, I used to believe that EVERY country in the world had its own language, that one language, and everyone in the country knew no other language...unless of course, they learned another one in school.
So one day, I was watching something on TV about England, and my dad asked me if I'd ever want to go to England, and I declined. He asked me why, and I replied, "Because I don't know the language!" As a toddler, though, I didn't exactly make the connection that "England" and "English" sounded alike.

I used to believe…

Even numbers were the goodies and odd numbers were the baddies.
Two even numbers added together would get along fine and make another even number. (2+2=4)
Two odd numbers added together would fight and an even number would then come stand there when they had killed each other.(3+3=6)
An odd with an even would fight but the baddie would win because he was strong. (2+3=5) I was always a little scared of this.

I worked all this out in about year three, then was amazed to find it came in useful in year 9 maths. To this day I think of the odd numbers as being antisocail.

I used to not kno what fag meant, and one day I called my friends older rother a fag and he slapped me. (I was about 5)

I thought that the word 'chicanery' was a racist slur against Mexicans until I heard it pronounced. Then I looked it up and realized it was a French word.

I thought that people who spoke a different languages were aliens.

I used to believe that if you got all of the letters of a word such as "stop", it didn't matter what order they were in. So, on my first spelling test I was very upset with the teacher who marked my spelling of "ptso" wrong. I was convinced that all the letters were there, so I should get credit.

I used to believe…

At the end of Sesame street when they say "brought to you by the letter so and so" I thought "brought to you" was all one word spelled "broqued."

I used to believe…

This one is not mine, it's my oldest daughter's... When she was about two, we were driving somewhere (I think I was taking her to the McDonald's for a treat), and she was very excited, and kept saying, "Look for it, Mommy, look hard...", to which I told her I was looking hard, and asked her if she was looking, and she said yes, but she didn't see the McDonald's. I told her that we would see it soon, and told her, "Keep your eyes peeled, and you'll find it," to which she replied, "But Mommy, I DON'T WANT to peel my eyes! That would hurt reawwy bad!" I laughed so hard I nearly had to pull the car over.

I used to believe the word "isolated" meant "maybe". This was due to the weather reports on the news saying isolated showers, and my parents saying that meant maybe it would rain and maybe it wouldn't.

I used to mix up the words 'prosecuted' and 'executed.' Every time I saw a "violators will be prosecuted" sign, I made sure to be on my best behavior. I was absolutely terrified that my actions would result in death if I did something wrong.

I used to believe…

When my mom taught me how to read and write, she compared the lowercase b and d to pregnant women. I took this literally and thought she meant that they actually were pregnant. I always saw lowercase letters as children and was horrified that they were pregnant so young. I knew they must be having a hard time, so I made it a point to always capitalize those letters, even in the middle of words.

I used to believe…

Whenever I saw those signs that said "In case of fire, use stairs", I thought it was telling me to use the stairs just in case a fire randomly broke out. I thought it was a stupid sign. I later realized it was telling me to use the stairs if there was a fire.

I used to believe…

As an African from an English colony,I used to believe that all white people spoke English.Really.So when I saw a white person,I would say,"there goes another 'England man'"
I never imagined I would grow up speaking English far more better than millions of white people.

I used to believe that anyone speaking a foreign language translated it into english in their head

I used to think "fonix" was a dangerous drug that would mess up your spelling because a kid at my school always wore one of those humours "hukt awn fonix wurkt fer mi" t-shirts