language

I used to believe…

When i was young, maybe 8 or 9, I had seen the movie 'The Bodyguard'. And in that movie, they mentioned that the bad guy had 'masturbated' on the bed of the victim. Well, my dad was driving me to school one morning, and i asked him what maturbate meant. He got really angry and told me it was a dirty word and that i should never say that again or think about that! I eventually looked it up in the dictionary at school, and still didn't understand it...what the heck was 'manually stimulating oneself to achieve orgasm' supposed to mean to an 8 year old?! So i just wrote the meaning down in my diary. My then teenage brother ended up stealing my diary, and when i asked him if he had seen it, he said: "Masturbation?" Talk about embarressing!

I used to believe…

When I was little, first learning my alphabet, i thought that LMNO was one long letter since it is said so fast in the song!

I used to believe…

Before I entered kindergarten, I used to believe that 11 and 12 should have been eleven-teen and twelve-teen.

Why not? There's thirteen, fourteen and so on...
I figured the entire group should match. :-)

I used to believe…

My mother told us that "mousketeer" and "kimosabe" were bad words. This was after we'd driven her nuts recreating scenes from "The Lone Ranger" and "Mickey Mouse Club." We believed her. I can only imagine how ridiculous we looked calling someone a "Mousketeer" in total anger.

I used to believe…

At the age of about five, I was in the car with my parents, when someone cut us off. My father called the other motorist an asshole. I asked why the guy was a "donkey hole" and got in trouble.

Later that year, I said "son of a bitch" because I heard my cousin say it...and got in trouble. Since a literal son of a bitch would be a puppy, I was afraid to mention puppies around adults for months.

I used to think that flipping someone the bird was called "f*cking them off." Additionally, someone once told me that "reller" was a euphemism for "sh*t," and I believed it.

I was in high school and heard the word euthanasia.
Everytime I heard it, I wondered why they were talking about "Youth in Asia."

I used to believe that when someone on a swing was "going crooked" they were "going cricket." I spent several years telling my friends they were "going cricket" on the swings before coming to the realization that I was using the wrong word.

I used to believe…

When I was little, we lived near a catholic church. There was a sign on the sidewalk that said pedestrian crossing, so i used to think that a pedestrian was was what you called a person who went to church.

I used to believe…

when i was about 3yrs old (im gonna be 8 this yr) my uncle mark (hes 25 now) taught me how to do a swear word without saying any words all you had to do was 2 things sticking your little finger up means chienese swearing and the middle finger is English swearing.! my mum is 26

I used to believe that when people explained something and said 'Well basically...' it was because they thought you were too dumb to understand the complicated version.

I was in primary school but hanging out with the 'older' girls... my little sister came over to me and asked me to play a skipping game with her and I told her to 'F*ck off'. I'd never even used those words before and had no idea where they had come from! But the older girls were saying it... My sister's eyes filled with tears and she walked away but ended up falling over and cut her knee. I felt instantly remorseful and felt like it was all my fault she got hurt. So I swore (pardon the pun) I'd never swear again. I now believe it's biologically impossible for me to swear!

I used to believe…

When I was little (1-5), I had a babysitter who would always write in these squiggly lines (now I know it to be cursive). I always thought that she wrote in her own different language, and was astounded when other people could read her writing.

i used to think that being boring and being bored is the same thing so me and my friends used to go around the whole classroom and we'd be like 'im boring. *sigh*' or 'we're boring'. we sort of cracked up the teacher until she nearly spat her coffee on us

I used to believe…

When I was younger, I used to believe that if I though bad things, like curse words, that my dad would be able to read my mind and I would get in trouble. Silly, yeh?

I used to believe…

when my brother was little before I was even born, my uncle would after giving him instructions say kapiece (sp?) and my brother would respond, "go piss?" so when my dad said kapiece to him my brother said "go piss?" and looked at my cousins like they were to blame