language

I used to believe…

When i was in kindergarten, i used to think that i invented the words million and billion

I heard this joke when I was younger and the last line of it said "And my mom's f*cking the turkey" So (being very young) I thought that the mother was standing in my gramma's kitchen flipping the turkey off and cussing at it.

I used to believe…

When i was about 5 i was watching an old movie on tv where a lady was yelling at a guy, saying he should be ashamed of himself for "robbing a young woman of her virtue". I knew what robbing meant- taking something away. But what was a virtue? I asked my mom who as i recall was scrubbing the bathtub. "Patience is a virtue" she mumbled. So i assumed that "robbing someone of their virtue" meant making them lord their patience. Fast forward to the next day. I'm in the cart at the grocery store watching my Milky Way candy bar creep slowly down the conveyor belt. "Mom, can i have my candy now?" I asked. But she insisted i wait until we left the store. I sighed loudly and declared, "Mom, you are ROBBING ME OF MY VIRTUE!" She turned 7 shades of red and rushed of out of the store. It wasn't until a good 10 years later when i say that movie again that i understood what the phrase meant.

I used to believe…

This wasn't mine, but a friend's:

When my mother asked if I had done something and I answered, "Yes, Mom, I swear," he said, "Oo-oo-ooh!" I asked why, and he said, "Swearing is cursing!"

I used to believe…

At the age of about 4-6, I thought a supermodel was someone who made clothes.

I used to believe that when people said the alphabet and they got to "L, M, N, O, P" they were actually saying "a lemon o' pee", as in a lemon full of pee. I thought the reason lemons were yellow was they were full of pee, and could never figure out why you were given a slice of lemon with water or tea or whatever at restaurants. I had no prolem with lemonade though, not really sure why.

I used to believe…

My father is a paramedic so one day after work when I was about 6 yrs old, he said today I had a patient with his bone sticking out of his leg. Earlier that week I heard someone say boner, and though thats what it meant. So I said , like a boner? lol he didnt talk to me for a while

I used to believe…

My OLDER (Haha) sister had two friends sleeping over and it was late at night when we rememberd to walk the dogs so we all had to go together so we wouldnt get kidnapped (That was the rull) And so me, her and her two friends were walking the dogs at the park and one of her friends just randomly sai the word "Mojo" (From Austin Powers) And they all started to laugh (And yes, they are all older than me!) And I said, do you guys even know what that is? And they all said yes and I said, okay, then what is it? And my sister was like, we cant tell you! And I explained it to them and they were like, nu'u! And then they asked our sixteen year old sister and she said the same thing and they wouldnt talk to me for the rest of the nigh! XD

I used to believe…

In Kindergarden my Mom home schooled me and I thought the "E" made the same sound as the "I" so when my Mom was helping me write numbers, I would write six as sex and she would get mad at me!!

I used to believe…

My dad has this weird belief that an autoharp is actually called an altoharp, but he pronounces alto to rhyme with balto. We used to argue about it a lot. I only heard him say it correctly once. He played one when he was a kid, and I think he misheard what his teacher called it. I think of that and laugh when I play it.

I used to believe…

One time I was driving in the car with my mom. I wanted her to eject a cd from the cd player in the car. Earlier on in the day I had heard the word ejaculation. I thought the word eject was an abbreviation for the word ejaculate. So in an attempt to show off my big vocabulary to my mom, I said, "Mom can you ejaculate the cd."

I used to believe…

When I was roughly four I used to hear swear words and repeat them. In order to stop me embarrassing her in public places my mother told me the word 'bungalow' was a swear word. I believed this until I was eleven and got very confused when people talked about one-storey houses.

I used to think that in every language other than english, there was a key. like, "a" was "e" in spanish, "a" was "o" in chinese, and so on. so i always wondered why i had to learn the language while i could just print out the sheet with the key on it. i didnt notice that in some languages words were longer than in english.

I used to believe…

My kindergarten teacher was English, so for the longest time I thought 'rubbish' was the correct word to use, not garbage, and that the letter 'H' was pronounced with a Huh sound in front of it, like Hach, not ach.

I used to believe…

when i was young i always pronounced nipples as nickles my mother thought it was cute and never told me otherwise i assumed everyone else used the same word right up until year 6 when we began sex education the teacher pointed to the nipples asked what they were and i said nickled the class laughed at me and i was very angry with my mother

I used to believe…

when i was little i heard on a TV show someone say someone was a whore my whole family was there and i was confused and they wouldn't tell me what it was i then began to believe it was a another shorter word for horse (i know weird) and one day in the middle of the street i called my mum a whore because she wouldn't buy me any ice cream she was absolutely horrified i was 5 at the time :P