language

i used to think that by saying "shut up" in school the principal would call the cops and then have you arrested. apparently one day there was a gas leak in my neighborhood and i said shut up in school earlier that day so when the cops came to evacuate us i thought he was coming after me.

I used to believe that a "grilled cheese sandwich" was a "girl cheese sandwich" and would refuse them and demand a "boy cheese sandwich". I was a sexist little kid.

I used to believe…

When I was four, I was very puzzled when I read the word "know." I knew the word when it was said aloud, but took a LONG time to figure out that they were the same word. I thought it was pronounced "ku-NOW" and that it had something to do with Chinese food!

I used to believe…

Until I was four or five, I always thought that since 1+1=2, 2+2 must equal 3. I insisted I was right until I finally learned to add properly and had a lot of arguments with my dad about this, who tried to explain it without laughing. I now am in 7th grade honors math!!!

I used to believe that the phrase "outer space" was really "out of space"... as in a spaceship from "out of space". My reasoning was that space is the boundary of the place we know, and weird things come from beyond it. I still catch myself saying it to this day, and I'm in my forties.

I had my wife convinced that Steven Hawking made his fortune as the original voice for the speak N spell toy.

I used to believe that "boots" were actually called "boots on". This was because whenever it was time to go outside, my parents would tell me, "get your boots on!".
Because of this, whenever I wanted to take them off, I would tell my parents that I wanted my boots on off.

I used to believe that if you spelled the swear words, it wasn't the same as saying them. I assumed it "didn't count". But just to make sure, I hid under my bed when I said them.

I used to be 100% positive that everyone in the world thought in English. I did, so why wouldn't everyone else, right?

So, I'm at the store with my dad one day, and we stop next to a Hispanic lady who's talking to the guy with her in Spanish. I said "You think in English, so just talk in English, duh." (I was 5 or 6 at the time)

Well, the lady did understand English, and it took my dad some serious explaining to escape that situation!! :)

I used to believe…

When I was about 6, I had no idea what a language barrier was. I imagined it as some kind of power that foreign people had, in which they used their language to form a barrier. It never occurred to me to ask someone.

I used to believe that English was the only real language and that foreign people only spoke jibbrish so that Americans couldn't understand because they didn't trust us. I also believed that animals knew english, but didn't speak around humans for the same reason. It never occurred to me that if they spoke random words, they couldn't understand each other.

I read a lot of Calvin and Hobbes as a young child, so one day I found myself wondering, "Why don't speech bubbles come out of our mouths as we talk?" This puzzled me for at least a month afterward.

I used to believe…

When I was young & we said the pledge of allegiance in school I always thought that was "and to the republice for witched stance". I was so relieved when I finally realized that it was "for which it stands". It just made so much more sense!

I used to believe that i could understand what my baby sisters and brothers could say.i went around translating for like two years.

I believed that "shut up" was cussing so i said it 1 million times

I used to think that "To Let" signs were meant to say "Toilet", but they were mispelled. I always wondered why they only ever left the "I" out and not any other letters.