language

I used to believe…

Up until I was 18--18! I believed that there were two kinds of appetizers one could serve at a party--"orderves" and "horse dovers." I had read about "horse dovers" many times in books and magazines, but at all the parties I'd ever been to, they only served "orderves."

It wasn't until I heard a woman on the radio saying that she could never remember how to spell "hors d'oeuvres" that I figured it out. When I tried to spell this word on my own and nothing looked right, the Frenchiness of it all clicked.

I used to believe…

From the time I first learned to read until perhaps the fourth grade I thought if you parked your car illegally it would be blown up, because that's what the sign said:

Vehicles Exploded

I used to believe…

When my mom and I drove to a local Wal-Mart she said if I went in with her I would get a free lolly-pop. She had to make a deposit to the bank in there and they usually gave littler kids lolly-pops. I was in fact a little kind and I was just learning to read. On the outside ity said "Low Prices." For the longest time I thought it said lolly-pops, but they didn't know how to spell. I never did get my lolly in the end.

I used to believe…

When my sister was 5 and I was 7, her, me, and my mum were trying to train my dog. I told her to "sit", but the dog didn't move.

My sister then said "You have to talk in a baby voice" so she went up to the dog and started saying saying "shit" because she thought it was sit in a bad voice. My mum started laughing, but then said "That is a naughty word, don't ever say it."

I knew what my sister meant, so when I started school that year and the teacher said "Sit down" I thought I was going to cry.

I used to believe…

When I was younger I used to think that cities, towns, states, provinces, territories, etc. were all just different words for countries. Also, if you lived in a different country, you spoke a different language. No one knew any other languages but their own, and that's just how it was. While we were driving to visit my aunt and uncle in a nearby town I asked my dad why Aunyie Mary and Uncle Dennis didn't speak another language, them being from a different country and all. He just kind of looked at me strangely and told me that they were still in the same country as us, just in a different town. I just kind of ignored what he told me because, of course they're in a different country, and they speak a different language. I thought that since they spoke english, they were doing it illegally, so that's why I never told anyone about it again, trying to protexct them from being arrested.

I used to believe…

man.. i used to have the worst sailor mouth when i was about 3. i was watching tv with my grandma, and some kids were playing outside, and making a lot of noise. So i stood up on the couch and shouted " shut the f*ck up! i'm trying to watch some d*mn tv!"out the window. lets just say i tasted soap for the next two weeks.

I used to believe…

When my little brother was really little he already knew the expresion 'damn it', but he also knew he wasn't aloud to say it, only grownups could. The only time he ever said it was when something went wrong for our dad. Then my little brother would chant "Say damn it daddy! Say damn it daddy!"

I used to believe…

When I was about five or six, my parents had a friend who would come over a lot. He was telling my dad one day that his daughter had bought a parrot, and he was very angry with her for teaching it "the F word".
When I asked what this word was, my mum replied that the F word was "Bog off, fancy friend"
I corrected her, and said that fancy friend was not rude, and she said that Bog off was. And when I said that Bog off does not start with F, she said "Yes, but Fancy friend does"

I used to believe…

now folks this may seem weird so beware!!!! when I was about 6 or 7 I thought that "plaza" said "pizza" when I said that my mom and dad started laughing their bottoms off. I swear it's not that funny!

I used to believe…

When I was little, I always misheard the word "ultimatum" and thought it was "ultomato." I didn't understand what making demands had to do with tomatoes, but I figured it was something bad.

I used to believe that "biscut" was a bad word when I was younger. My dad would always say, "Son of a Biscut." I tought it was a bad word until I asked my older cousin about it when I was 9, he was 10.

I used to believe…

my mother tongue is not english. and at home my parents spoke this language amonst each other. me and my brother did not have a clue what was going on, but we picked it up slowly. when we didnt know how to speak it, and when we used to play mommy and daddy, we made up our own gobbledygook version and pretended that we knew what it meant and spoke it infront of our parents so they would get jealous!!

I used to believe…

As a little girl I had a favorite book about a dog who was left alone in a house while his family was away for vacation. In the story the dog is sad and cries because he has been left behind. I would cry everytime my Great Grandpa read the book to me. I would have him read it every day hoping the dog would get to go with his family and then when the book didnt change I would cry.

I used to believe…

When I was a kid, I was aware that "gender" was the word for if you were a boy or a girl, but that's the only word I knew for that. So in first grade when we took a standardized test for the first time, there was a space that said "sex" and I knew I'd never had sex before so I wrote "no".

I used to beileve that duct tape was Duck tape, and for awhile I guess I thought it came from ducks....but I'm not sure (I was shocked that for so long I thought it was Duck...)

I used to believe that pathetic meant ugly. One day when I was sick, my mom said that I looked pathetic and asked if I needed help. I got really mad at her and said that it was mean of her to call me ugly. She just was like "what?" Then I said "Pathetic means ugly" she started laughing and wouldnt let me live it down.