language

I used to think that people laughed in different languages. That English was Ha-Ha...and other languages had their specified laughter, and you would have to translate it.

I used to read the sign outside of convenient stores or gas stations that said "no loitering." I didn't know what loitering meant and would always laugh to myself because I thought that the people who made the sign spelled littering wrong.

I used to believe…

when i was younger, I U T B (i used to belive) that english was the first spoken languedge, and ours was the "right" one to speak. everone else took ours and messed it up. when ever i heard someone talking another languede i used to get really mad, and mumble " u stole our languge "

I used to believe…

It's not really something I misheard in a song but there is a song called "You're a grand old flag" or something around that, and we had to play that in my music class and when I first flipped through the music book I thought it said "You're a grand old fag". Even my two friends that were with me in my music class thought it said that.

I used to believe…

When I was young I always used to mix the word persecute with prostitute. Imagine how alarmed I was when i would hear my pastor talk about how we must be "persecuted" for our faith.

I thought several was a specific large number because I never learned exactly how many it was and I knew the smaller ones. Once when I was about four years old, I threw one of my toys on the ground and it broke. My mother yelled at me, "That cost several dollars!" So I said, "I can't count that high!"

I used to believe…

when i was little and learned how to "flick someone off", my dad found a way to stop my bad habit. he said, yes the middle finger is bad, but the pointer finger is worse, so i went around putting my pointer finger in peoples faces, and when they asked what it meant, i would say, "i dont know, but its something really bad"

I used to believe…

Once, when I was about six, my aunt got dressed up to go out. She asked my opinion about how she looked. I thought she looked good, and so I told her, "You look like a slut." Apparently my family let me watch too much of the television show "Married with Children" where there are tons of pretty girls commonly referred to as sluts.

I used to believe…

When I was little, I moved, and started at a new school. My new french teacher, Madame Emmanuel, was really scary (at least to a 7 year old). We'd begin every class with her saying "Bonjour Classe!" and us responding "Bonjour, Madame Emmanuel!".

Me, not having much instruction in French, simply assumed that her name was "Madamy Mannuel", and wondered what kind of name Madamy was.

I used to believe…

My sister was grammatically correct from the beginnng; when she was in daycare at age 3, she saw that her supervisor (Valerie) had a bruise. She, being a concerned child, stated "Valerie, you have a broo!". Valerie responded, "No, I have a BRUISE". My sister gives her a look of exasperation and says, "No, there's only one of them," much to the surprise of her supervisor.

I used to believe…

as a kid i was convinced, since i'm not jewish, that "bris" and "brie" were the smae thing. so when i was five i saw my 2 year old cousin reaching out for a piece of brie on a cheese tray, so i yelled, "mom! let's give henry a bris!"

I used to believe…

My mom tried not to swear in front of me, but one day she accidentally broke something in the kitchen. She shook her fist and said said "Shit". She didn't see me, so she hoped I hadn't heard. (I think I was about 3 or 4.)

But I had. She caught me in front of the mirror later, shaking my little fist and yelling "Dit! Dit!" because I couldn't make the "s' sound yet.

To this day, Mom occasionally says "dit".

I used to believe…

When I was little, a lot of my books were British, but some were American (and some were in French, but that's another story). So Mom had had to explain to me that there were some words in English that were different from words in American, like "boot" was a thing that went on your feet in America, but it was the space in the back of the car in England. (This after I asked where the boots for the car were.)

A little while later we went skiing, and I was put in ski kindergarten. Apparently the instructor swore in front of me. Dad came home soaking wet from a rainstorm one day, and I said "I wish this fucking rain would stop".

After a little investigation by my Mom, I revealed that I'd learned "that word" from Trevor, the ski instructor. Mom cleverly explained that since Trevor was Scottish, he used some different words, and if I used those words, nobody would understand me! So I forgot all about them. Good thing I didn't think I could speak Scottish!

I grew up speaking French and English equally. At first, I didn't even realize they were different languages! But when I figured it out, I decided everybody must know one or the other.

At a restaurant one night, I decided to tell the people at the next table about my stuffed bunny rabbit, who was very smart, and had figured out how the desserts were made. (I think it involved bicycle pumps for the meringues.) But they didn't understand me, so I tried it all again in the other language, which only confused them even more! My mom came to get me, rescuing the poor Germans from the weird kid babbling at them in English and French.

I used to believe…

When i was at school I just couldn't figure out why the letter "X" was mostly absent from words and if he did appear he was always at the end like in fox. I figured he was always late but so wanted to be first and cried when "F" and "O" beat him too it AGAIN. As a grown up I know that "X" has had more success than that since he often makes second place but so frustrated with never being first he has often struck off on his own and set up his own scheme of complementing words like ray, files and factor oh he is big and fireworky on the X factor but my generation (generation X) have tried but failed to put him in his proper place. Oh you are such a maverick; letter X!

I used to believe bris was pronounced brisk.
So when it was Passover and my mother said, "I'm making brisk for Passover. . . . " YOu can imagine what happened.

I used to think that "etc." at the end of a list of items meant electric. I was a very young reader, and since most everything adults did seemed strange, it didn't really occur to me to question such constructions as "dogs, cats, horses, cows, electric"