language

I used to beleive that you could change words from English to French just by changing the same letters every time, like it was a simple formula. (e.g. every 'a' in English would be 'h' in French or something).

I always thought the old saying "spare the rod and spoil the child" was a set of two instructions rather than the warning that the child who does not get whacked occasionally will be spoiled. I much preferred that they both spared the rod AND spoiled the child - if the child was me, at any rate!

I used to think Casserole was a suit case that roled. My mom once made casserole for dinner and asked where the suitcases were. I saw a backpack and started to role it...i thought it was like an activity we were gonna play for dinner...everyone laughed at me. we had people over too

I used to believe…

one day, back in 2nd grade, i came home from school, stretched my arms and said...
"oh i feel like a slut"
for some reason i thought a slut was someone who was exhausted or really tired.

my mom overheard me immediately.

I used to believe…

Our parents would not tolerate swearing, and even today I think less of any woman who swears, or any man who swears in the presence of a woman. As kids we were all having dinner when my mother dropped something and said, "Damn!" There was shocked silence until my Dad said, "Robert, I think your mother would like some jam."
Many years later, home after four years away with the Navy, I was trying to start the lawnmower, and let out an exasperated "Bugger it!", realising with horror that my Dad was nearby. Dad just smiled - after all he had been overseas with the Army thirty years beforehand, and could swear in arabic!
Isn't it wonderful, when you leave home convinced your father knows nothing, how much the old boy has learned by the time you get back?

I used to believe…

When I was little I found out from someone that the name we call countries is not what they call themselves. Being the smart little bastard I was I started correcting everyone when they said the english version of a countries name. The only problem was that I was telling people "No, its not called Germany, its called doucheland!"

Noone corrected me until I was in middle school...

I used to believe…

My two best friends were shopping and we passed a stand called 'The piercing pagoda' and one of my friends proclaimed "It's the Piercing Padoga!" She honestly thought it was called this. It wasn't just that she read it or said it wrong- She actually beleived the word Pagoda was pronounced Padoga.

I used to belive that ten was the biggist number

I used to be confused no end by the use of the phrase "You never can tell". It seemed to imply that the outcome of an event being spoken of would remain a mystery forever, no one EVER knowing the result. But generally the phrase was applied to matters whose outcome would actually soon be obvious. I eventually figured out that the intended meaning is that you can never tell IN ADVANCE about such outcomes, but only after a whole lot of confusion in thinking that "never" always meant never, forever.

i used to think that epcot was pronounced "epc**k" and once in school, one of my friends were talking about disney world and how they went to epcot and a proudly yelled "ITS PRONOUNCED EPC**K", but it was in kindergarden so i just got explained to what c**k meant

I used to believe…

When I was little, My mom and I were going somewhere in the car when all the sudden I started yelling "MILITARY, MILITARY, MILITARY!" When she did know what I was talking about, I said to her "The place with the little rocks were the people died." I thought a cemetary was actually a military when I was little.

I used to believe…

Once when I was a kid, I said to my mom, "Woudn't it be neat if they invented two machines: A mess-maker, and a mess-cleaner-upper?" She sarcastically replied, "Oh, I already have TWO mess-makers!"

For several minutes, I was impressed, but confused, wondering why she had opted to buy TWO mess-makers, and not a single mess-cleaner-upper, as that was clearly the more useful of the two inventions.

That is, until I realized that she was referring the my sister and me.

I used to believe…

When I was very young, we were leaving my Grandmother's house, and she said to me, "I'll have to come visit you at your house one day."

I had never heard the words "one day" used in this manner. As far as I was concerned, the only usage of that term was at the beginning of a story (i.e "One day Johnny was walking down the street..."). To me, "one day" always meant something in the past, and I thought she was crazy to use it to talk about something in the future.

I used to often wonder if the words that came out of my mouth sounded different to others, and the things they said sounded different to me.. odd huh?

I used to believe…

One day, when I was about 5 or 6, I heard my sisters friend use the word 'hooker' hah. and I had no idea what it meant so when my mom came outside she came up to me, my sister and her friend and I said "hey mom, she's a hooker!' my mom looked shocked out of her mind and told me never to say that again.

I used to believe…

In the kindergarten every1 is tought ABC as a poem or a ryam & so was I, but I always kept joining my LMNOP & never got the sence that these are actual characters & not a single one, this practse was corrected in 6th grade by my teacher !!!