language

I used to believe that the term 'flat tyre' was a swear. My parents' car broke down one day in the middle of the street. Trying to be helpful, I poked my head between the front seats and suggested it might be a flat tyre. I got a slap from my mum. I thought at the time I'd said something I shouldn't have...

i htought lmnop was one letter

I used to believe…

When i was learning the alphabet, i used to think that the letters LMNOP were all one letter cos we said them so quickly. So it would go..ABCDEFGHIJK elemeno P...

I used to believe…

When I was about 3 or 4,I used to think that people would laugh and cry differently depending on their languages. It confused me whenmy mother would burst out laughing everytime I asked how you cried in spanish.

I picked up the word "whore" from an old babysitter and one day my mother told to me to 'stop swearing' I was stunned.

One day my mother thought I was lying and I said, "I SWEAR I DIDN'T DO IT MOMMY. OH MY GOD, NO I DIDN'T MEAN TO SWEAR MOMMY I MEAN I PROMISE."

I never saw such a look..

I used to believe…

Once at my grandmother's house I was wheeling around a baby doll and kept telling my older brother to try and take it from me, each time he did I smacked his arm and shouted, "GET OFF HIM YOU BASTARD!" not knowing what it meant, grandmom set me straight...

Another one of these stories goes for my cousin. I was in the car with my cousins and my aunt, one of the girls was my age and her brother was a little younger. Out of the blue she hugged him and said, "YOU BASTARD!" she mistook it as a compliment and my mother never looked so stunned (until a few years afterward.)

I used to believe…

One day several summers ago, I was in our back yard tie-dying tee-shirts. My brother's friend, Brian, who was about 15 at the time, came out to see what I was doing. I told him that I was tie-dying and then explained how you have to twist the shirts and tie rubber bands around them to get the patterns in the dye.

Brian's eyes got big and he said, "Oh, that's why it's called tie-dye!" Well, I laughed and asked him where he thought the name came from, but I already had a suspicion.

"I thought it originated in Thailand!"

I used to believe…

When I was younger... my Grandma used to tell me when people were saying 'curse words,' and never to say them. The only time I recall her telling me this is when someone said something bad in spanish (her 2nd language). I got really afraid, thinking that spanish was an evil language and when somebody was telling you something in spanish, something horrible would happen.

She would also tell me never to 'swear.' One day at school, my best friend told me a secret. He told me to swear not to tell anybody. I instantly was alarmed, ran to the teacher and said '--soandso-- is SWEARING!' I got him in sooo much trouble! I feel bad now that I know what it is :(

I used to believe…

Before i had learned how to read and write, I thought that the grown-ups weren't actually writing (i mean handwriting), they were just fooling around and scribbling weird stuff on paper. Therefore, I was convinced that I could "write" as well, so ever time I got my hands on a pen and a piece of paper(including newspapers, books etc.) I just scribbled it to death. That drove my grandparents crazy, especially since I ruined a few rare and expensive books.

I used to believe…

When I was in Kindergarten, me and my friends heard the word "F***" in a movie and decided it was a quick way to say "forget".

Not too much later in the movie, we heard the word "s***" and decided it was the word "sheet" with a thick accent.

About a week later, we were all in class, and one of my friends was having significant trouble with a math worksheet we were doing. However, the sheet was not being taken for a grade, so, with the teacher all of three feet away, I loudly and proudly showed off my accent with the phrase "f*** that s***!"

I remember thinking, "Did the teacher mark all over her face in red crayon?"

I also remember taking math worksheets very seriously the rest of that year.

I used to think that to have an affair meant to have a fight. One day, when my friend and I were at a ski resort, we started fighting and I went off alone to hide from her. Her Dad came over to ask what was wrong and I said "(my friend's name) and I are having an affair!" Her dad seemed a little confused. It was later that my friend told me what an affair REALLY was. Oops.

I used to believe…

When I first met a deaf person who could speak, I assumed she was from some foreign country, because she talked funny.

I used to believe that the word sickle was short for popsicle. "He cut the grass with a sickle," would mean a guy cut some grass eating a popsicle - like on a hot day perhaps? Made sense to me at the time.

I used to believe that the sign language used by Deaf people involved fingerspelling every word. Probably due to reading a Happy Hollister book with a Deaf character who taught the Hollister kids the finger alphabet to use for silent communication purposes in their "detective" work.

I first heard the "F" word when I was in the fourth grade but I misheard it. When I told my Dad that I knew the "F" word, I told him that it was "fauk!" He was still ashamed of me.

I used to believe that odd numbers were male and even number were female. So in my head they were all dating. 1 was dating 2. 3 was engaged to 4. 5 was married to 6. And 6 was cheating on 5 with 7. ( I don't know what happened to 8,9,0... )