language

I used to believe…

When I was 5 years old, a new girl joined my class from Germany, I had no idea she was from another country until later on when I was riding in the car with her and her mother and they began speaking to one another in German. I thought all foreign people must look different to me, and because they looked the same as me, it never crossed my mind that they might be from another place, actually I don't think I'd heard of foreign languages existing at all. I spent the entire car journey listening really hard and panicking because I couldn't understand why their words made no sense to me. I really thought I was going mad. You can imagine my relief when I discovered my brain was working again when I met up with my mother at the end of the journey.

I used to believe…

Until about a minute ago I thought the phrase, "It's a dog eat dog world." Was actually, "It's a doggy dog world." I feel so ashamed. I usually never misunderstand idioms.

I used to believe…

When I was 3 years old, my father was telling me about the difference between the physical and the spiritual. I was just learning to read and spell at the time but wasn't very good yet and I asked him if physical was spelled "f i s c a l". He then had to explain to me what fiscal meant.

I used to believe…

Up to being 18, if I was reading a particularly scary book, when I put it down I couldn't leave it open at the page I was on, I had to shut it and use a bookmark. This was in case anything got out of it and came to get me.
Also, I couldn't leave it face up, with the picture on the front looking at me.

I used to believe…

When I was younger i made an action figure out of paper and materials (glue and stuff like that) and i named it 'Jerry Anus.' Of course i had NO clue what an anus is so i went up to my older sister and i was like, "Look at what i made! I named him Jerry Anus!" She died of laughter and had to explain to me what an anus was.

I had an uncle who told me that "pilchards" was a swearword. I heard a presenter use it on a programme about fishing when I was about 6, and ran to tell my mum.
Sometimes I still catch myself using it..

I used to believe…

When I was four or five I was getting ready to go to outside and I was putting on my mitts. As I was putting on my mitts fuzz kept getting in the way so I finally shouted at my mom "THIS D*MN GREEN FUZZ!" she looked at me and told me to never say that again because it was rude. I looked her straight in the eye and said "fuzz?". So for years I thought that fuzz was a bad word that i should never say.

I used to believe…

When my niece was young, she heard the word "c*nt" somewhere and asked her mother what it meant. Her mother told her that it was a very "naughty" word and she would have to wait until she was a grown-up to understand. Trouble was, my niece must have been in a stage in which she thought all of the "naughtiest" words meant "poop'. For shortly afterwards I heard her say, "I gotta hurry to the bathroom before I c*nt in my pants!"

I used to believe…

When I first heard the word "plebiscite", I guess because of its resemblance to parasite, I thought it must mean some kind of nasty little critter. To this day, I never hear the word without thinking of some small but rather fearsome animal.

I was a kid who loved to use big words. At 7 or 8, adults would be really impressed with the way I talked. However, most of my lingo came from just listening to people speak; my parents talking to one another, television, adults in public places conversing.
Well, I heard the word "thoroughly", but hadn't heard the word "thorough", so, for like, five years I thought the word was "thurral".
One Easter when I was about 13, after hours of searching for my prize egg, I had this conversation with my sister:
"But I've been really, really thurral!"
"You've been what?"
"You know, I've searched very thoroughly."
"Oh, you mean you've been thorough?"
"NO, I was thurral!"

She never let me live that one down.

I used to believe…

when i was little, concepts and inanimate objects were either nice or mean. My favorite things to classify according to mood were numbers and colors. my least favorite number was five, because it was an odd number, and it just sounded mean. I decided that five was a really mean old librarian. My favorite number was two...she was a princess. One was a nerdy tall guy in a green suit, and seven was a nosy man who liked to look over fences at what the neighbors were doing. I had issues.

I used to believe…

Mom received a stuffed Snoopy as a baby shower gift for me, so I was destined to be a Snoopy fan. As such, Snoopy was one of the first words I remember writing. I would spell it S-N-O-O-P because that's how it sounds, snoo-p. Boy did I feel stupid when I learned I was wrong. I tried to hide that I didn't know before by secretly adding the Y to previously written SNOOP's.

I used to think that all languages were written the same, just spoken differently. I even asked my mother this, and she said that was true! It took me a while to figure out languages.

I used to believe…

my moms friends kid thinks shoot is a "bad" word 1 day she saw a bee and said:go make honey you damn bee!

I also believed that numbers had personalities. 6 and 8 were best friends, and they worked on this special project (14) together. 9 was mean, tricking other numbers into giving up their rightful places in the teens. 8 and 9 were sometimes friends, but 8 like 9 more than 9 liked 8.

I used to believe…

When I was little my mom told me that flipping somebody off meant "go to Hell" and that I shouldn't do it. My friend and I decided that if we pointed our middle finger downward instead, it would mean "go to Heaven" and that it was a compliment. I think I was about 16 before I learned the truth.