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Whenever I couldn't read a word, I would just make up something in its place. So, whenever I would read to my mom or something, she would chuckle or something at my completely made up word.
Once in seventh grade we all had to read from our science books aloud. Well, I was reading a sentence and I came across the word Organism of course I thought I said Orgasm, so that's what I read outloud in front of my whole class. Everyone broke out laughing, even the teacher!
When I was on vacation, we drove past a bookstore, and I read the sign(silently), but accidentally left out a letter. It was a Christian bookstore, which it also said on the sign. I only thought 'That's an unusual name for a store.' Fortunately we drove past it again, because we had gotten lost, as usual, and this time I was able to see that the name also included the letter 'I'.
The name of the store was 'Arise'.
When I was 5, I believed that the older you are the bigger the books you read. I have clear memories of sitting in library class planning that in the future when I was in grade 6 (about 11 years old) I would borrow the two red 10 cm thick books that sat on the shelf behind the library teacher. As I grew older I realised that I had in fact planned to borrow two volumes of the dictionary !!!
I thought, in kindergarden, in order to read a book you had to read the page then turn it around and wave it back and forth. Little did I know the teacher was just showing us the pictures and it was not required if you were reading to your self.
the old sonic sign said "happy eating" at the bottom. For a while as I was learning to read i thought it said happy easter until i asked my mom why they never took the sign down
I was nearly ten when I found out that
'Clairvoyant' wasn't an 'agony aunt'
I used to beleive that all books were coloring books, but some of them --dictionaries for instance -- just weren't as much fun to color as other books were.
For the longest time I'd read the word "colonel" in a book without realizing that it's pronounced 'kernel'.
When I visited the public library as a little kid, I assumed most of the books in the grown-up section were filled with pictures of people "doing it".
When I was young my uncle had a big book of the complete works of Edgar Allen Poe. It had the name "Poe" on the spine in huge letters. Inside it had both short stories and poems. Once I saw this I assumed that Poe had invented poetry and people had named it after him.
When I was so young that I was still being read to at bedtime, my parents were working their way through the wonderful book "Robinson Caruso" when I began having some heavy-duty nightmares. When my parents asked me what was wrong, I finally asked, "Robinson Caruso didn't really kill and eat a little kid, did he?" When I found out we were talking about a young goat, the nightmares stopped...
Once, I found a very fascinating book in my mother's book case. I read the summery on the back, and learned the word, "Courtesan", as well as many others(all of which got me into some sticky situations). I reasoned that from the sound of the words and the summary that a courtesan was a female lawyer.
Bursting to show off my new word, I addressed my aunt, who was a lawyer. I...asked her what she did as a courtesan. What happened afterwards was Not Fun.
My mum's aunt gave her daughter a copy of Jackie magazine. She refused to read it as her name was not Jackie.
When in 1940 my sister was 12 she found the word "brothel" in a book and asked her father what it meant. he replied "a soup kitchen for poor people"
Her husband disillusioned her at the age of 20.
My mum told me that 'Grown up books' didn't go in chronological order after i asked if they did. She was being sarcastic but 3 year olds don't do sarcasm!!
I used to read 'Shopfitters' as 'Shoplifters'....wondered why they had a warehouse to advertise the fact thats what they did! Never dare ask my parents about it in case only I could see it!!
On 1st grade, I used to believe my classmates would think me too weird if they knew I could read fluently, so I sometimes faked it... especially when I came to a long word (just like they did). On 2nd grade, I didn't need to fake any more, because our teacher told us she'd learned to read at age 4 - same age as I.
When I was four, my daddy took me on the streetcar for the first time. I was pretty impressed, and felt I had to impress my dad as to my coming of age by proving I could read, and understand words.I read the sign over the driver's head to my dad, and told him, "I know what that means." He said, "What does it mean?" The sign read "No spitting on this car." I told him that it meant that people could not use nasty wordsge on the streetcar........i.e. "No spiting"...
I was told, at the age of 5, that "No Vacancy" at a hotel meant that no animals were allowed. (we were on vacation, I was talkative, parents were saying anything to answer my questions so I would shut up) Well, I grew up, but I never put two and to together, just would see a hotel/motel and believe that no vacancy meant they didnt allow dogs/cats. At the age of 11 (yes, 11!!) I was walking with some of my parents friends in Orlando, FL, and I mentioned "Wow, alot of places around here dont allow animals!!" Well... with alot of laughs,I finally understood. :-)