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When I was in 6th grade, learning about "organisms", every time I read out loud to my class, I would switch the word "organism" with the word "orgasm". I always knew it had some kind of sexual meaning but I was never really certain what it meant, so I did it to make it awkward for my teacher and classmates.
I used to think LMAO meant lama or lame with an o at the end.
When I was a kid I used to think that the signs on elevators that said "In case of fire, do not use lift" meant never to use a lift, just in case there's a fire. I wondered why have the lift at all, if you're never meant to use it? But figured since everyone else ignored the sign, the risk couldn't be that great!
When I was little, my dad and I would sometimes sneak into hotels and use their pool. I was always nervous because I knew we were doing something wrong, and I once read a sign that said trespassers will be prosecuted. I thought prosecuted meant executed and was terrified that they would find us and kill us.
I used to think that there were two n's in the alphabet, one after m and one right before z. i thought this until 2 grade. i thought that because when people said w x y and z, it sounded like w x y n z
When I was 8 or 9 years old, I read Harry Potter, and I was convinced I was going to Hogwards too. I kept believing it until I was 11, because I didn't receive a message form Dubledore. I was so disappointed..
I used to think that the word "soliciting" meant the same as "socializing" and I remember being really confused at a restaraunt that had a sign saying "No Soliciting". I was worried that my family was all going to get in trouble for talking.
When i was young, maybe 8 or 9, I had seen the movie 'The Bodyguard'. And in that movie, they mentioned that the bad guy had 'masturbated' on the bed of the victim. Well, my dad was driving me to school one morning, and i asked him what maturbate meant. He got really angry and told me it was a dirty word and that i should never say that again or think about that! I eventually looked it up in the dictionary at school, and still didn't understand it...what the heck was 'manually stimulating oneself to achieve orgasm' supposed to mean to an 8 year old?! So i just wrote the meaning down in my diary. My then teenage brother ended up stealing my diary, and when i asked him if he had seen it, he said: "Masturbation?" Talk about embarressing!
When I was a kid, I used to think that an oxymoron was a stupid ox.
When I was little, we lived near a catholic church. There was a sign on the sidewalk that said pedestrian crossing, so i used to think that a pedestrian was was what you called a person who went to church.
"When I first saw a metallica shirt I though it said 'Metal-Licka'. I was a stupid child..."
Chester Bennington, Linkin park singer
When I was 6 or 7, I received a children's one-volume encyclopedia. At the end of some entries, it would suggest that you "Look Up" a related subject. I could not understand why the book wanted me to look up. I tried staring at the ceiling but nothing happened.
In most magzines aimed at kids, they have sections, where they publish drawings, photos, poems, and other stuff that readers did. I didn't know you have to have your parents mail it to the magazine, so I had a drawing and I just stuck it in the magazine and waited for it to appear published on the page.
When I was four, I was very puzzled when I read the word "know." I knew the word when it was said aloud, but took a LONG time to figure out that they were the same word. I thought it was pronounced "ku-NOW" and that it had something to do with Chinese food!
I used to think that "Jabberwocky" was a character from Star Wars.
I used to think that "To Let" signs were meant to say "Toilet", but they were mispelled. I always wondered why they only ever left the "I" out and not any other letters.
I grew up not far from the local train tracks. My friends and I would lay on the slope leading up to the tracks and would count the cars as they went by. I remember going home one day and asking my Grandmother where Capa City was. It was written on all of the box cars. We got out the altas and searched, but found nothing.
Not long after that, we got stuck in the car at the RR crossing. When the box cars starting rolling by, I showed her where it said they were all from Capa City.
She began to laugh so hard, she had to turn around to go home and change her pants.
What I was reading as Capa City, was actually "capacity"...as in maximum volume.....Ooooooohhhh!
Hey, I was 7!
I believed that there were two n's in the alphabet. I asked my teacher in kindergarten because to me it went... L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y *N* Z (because of the AND Z).
My mom was a high school English teacher. She used to have a book in the house entitled, "Writing With a Purpose" and for some reason I thought it read, "Writing with a Porpoise". I couldn't understand why she was having her students study about Porpoises in English class.
I thought "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy" was a somewhat casual manual for astronauts.