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When i was younger, i had a really big book of poems, and i thought anon. was just one person, and i used to think that he must be really famous to have go so many poems in to one book.
Reading the newspaper one day I came across the word rape. I asked my father what it meant. He replied to me that it was a sort of a salt. His manner didn't invite further questions. It was not until many years later that I understood that he had said assault.
My dad made be believe that picture adverts for rufuse skips in the local paper were actually lorries that transported erect tents (upside down).
As a kid in the 70s and 80s I amassed a large number of annuals, or bumper comic (book) hardbacks which came out to coincide with the school holidays. Some of these had a "serious" feature designed to give you an idea for something to do apart from read comics, and although I generally ignored these, one, headlined "Youth-Hostelling", intrigued me for a long time. I didn't know what the term meant, but instead of finding out (or reading the feature) I tried to work it out by myself, concluding that it actually said "Youth House Stealing", and that the article warned against getting involved with large gangs of young criminals who stole houses.
When I was four or five and just starting to read I was very confused by the small print on packets of toilet paper. I read "2-ply" and thought this was actually a list of instructions, of which point 2 was "play". The fact that the "instructions" didn't say what you should play with, and that there was no number 1 (as it were) in the "list", didn't stop me from holding this belief for some time, to the frustration of my Dad who attempted several times without success to explain to me what "ply" meant.
At middle school, I was convinced that "destitute" meant a male prostitute.
After reading somewhere that "he was destitute...."
I thought the reason no one liked Lady Macbeth because she was cruel and said bad words to her dog (Out, out, damned Spot.)
when i would see a "FIRE HOSE REEL" i thought that meant that it was indeed a real one, and that there were many fake fire hoses around to either trick people or just for display.
I used to read to my younger neighber and make up words while doing so. I convinced her that once she learned to read she would understand what I was saying. I couldn't read either at the time, but I thought I was right.
When I was seven and eight, I would not read the last page of any book because I thought I would die if I did. Now where did I get THAT idea?!?!?! Strange!!!
When I was small I used to believe that if a books cover was facing up when put down, the characters would come out of the book. Once I read a book on vampires and my cat was with me so I thought my cat was waiting for me to go to sleep before it could bite me. I didnt sleep in my room for a couple of days because I though the characters were still roaming around.
As a kid, I believed that Little Red Riding Hood was "Little Red Writing Hood". I found considerable cause for puzzlement in wondering what her hood had to do with writing.
"When I first saw a metallica shirt I though it said 'Metal-Licka'. I was a stupid child..."
Chester Bennington, Linkin park singer
I saw the word "funeral" in writing before I'd ever heard the word or knew what a funeral was. I assumed it was something like a carnival since it started with the word "fun."
When I was little (before kindergarten) I was convinced that some letter had been left out of the ABC song. So I would annoy my mom for hours by asking her, "Is Q in the alphabet song?" "Is F in the alphabet song?" and so on. I was so sure one had been left out!
There's a store near me called "Cartons & Crates". When I was young, I thought the sign said "Cartoons & Crates", and since I liked cartoons, I wondered why we never went there. Ironically, they started selling art supplies a few years ago.
In the early 1950's long before we had a TV, I would read my older brother's comic books, and I thought Yosemite Sam was pronounced yose mite. I was a teenager before I heard it said correctly.
When I was learning to read/write, I believed that periods signified the end of a word. So. I. would. write. things. like. this.
When I was learning to read, I was convinced that "$20" was read as "dollars-twenty"ónot as "twenty dollars". I refused to believe my mother when she corrected me because my way seemed so obvious.
I was broken hearted when I read a chalk message outside my friend Dorelle's house that said "Went Private". I stood outside in the street and shouted her name, because I didn't dare go onto her property, but she didn't come out. Deeply distraught, I ran home and fetched my dad who explained that the message was "Wet Paint", and I could still go and call on Dorelle, so long as I didn't lean up against the painty fence.