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I thought the book "Ramona Quimby, Age 8" was only for kids eight years old and up. I was highly offended by the ageism.
In most magzines aimed at kids, they have sections, where they publish drawings, photos, poems, and other stuff that readers did. I didn't know you have to have your parents mail it to the magazine, so I had a drawing and I just stuck it in the magazine and waited for it to appear published on the page.
When I was a kid, I used to think that an oxymoron was a stupid ox.
I used to think that the word "soliciting" meant the same as "socializing" and I remember being really confused at a restaraunt that had a sign saying "No Soliciting". I was worried that my family was all going to get in trouble for talking.
I used to think that there were two n's in the alphabet, one after m and one right before z. i thought this until 2 grade. i thought that because when people said w x y and z, it sounded like w x y n z
I used to believe that the word "prosecuted" meant shot or killed. I have no idea why I thought this. Imagine the fear I had every time I saw a sign saying "Violators will be prosecuted" or "Trespassers will be prosecuted."
i believed that at the end of any business deal made the person who was the deal maker would give the other guy a pair of new white socks. This is because when i first started to read properly and i tryed to read anything (the junk mail that came through the post) i kept misreading 'while stocks last' to 'white socks last' and to this day!! even putting that now i wanted to white socks last im 22.
I thought that the women who drove the bookmobile actually wrote all of the books on the shelves.
My mom bought me a Guinness Book of World Records when I was 8 and I loved reading it because I thought it would make me a genius. Why did I think that? Well, I didn't know what "Guinness" was nor how it was pronounced, so I assumed it was called the "Genius's Book of World Records"!
I first saw the word "Lisztomania" in a "grown-up"(a book that doesn't have many pictures) book I was reading at the library as a kid. I didn't know what it meant at the time, so I assumed it was a country or a type of dance or something like that...
I used to think that Horoscopes were actually Horror-scopes, and I never wanted to read mine because I didn't want to know what horrors I would be encountering in the near future.
My mom was a high school English teacher. She used to have a book in the house entitled, "Writing With a Purpose" and for some reason I thought it read, "Writing with a Porpoise". I couldn't understand why she was having her students study about Porpoises in English class.
When I was about twelve or thirteen, my mother was reading me The Odyssey, and at one point, Queen Penelope has these men who want to marry her because they think Odysseus is dead, and they say, "We'll draw lots". I didn't know what that meant, so I thought it meant they'd draw (as in sketch) a lot of Odysseuses.
I am 13 years old and I remember when I was learning to read I thought that everyone was making the words up and it was one big practicle joke to try to convince me into beliving them and that the letters were just squiggles that everyone said were letters. When I refused to listen to my teacher in Kindergarden and told her that she was lieing about the letters and words then as I procided to throw a tamtrum I was sent early for nap time so she wouldn't have to put up with me. I WAS AN ODD CHILD...
As a child I played videogames, especially poorly translated ones from Japan. I sometimes tried to adopt some of the bizarre syntax and grammer of these games, assuming that while it seemed akward and at times incomphrehensible, it MUST be right.
When I was seven years old, I used to believe if you closed a magazine and left it alone for a few days, all of the pictures inside would change to new ones. I have no idea why . . .
Used to go around my school classes and brag to people that I read "War and Peace" (being of course famous or infamous for its horrendous length). It was a lie... and I know I was just a kid, but I guess I didn't realize it was such a LAME thing to brag about.
ME: "I read War and Peace!"
THEM: "Nice, want to play Legos?"
ME: "I READ all of it! War and Peace!"
THEM: "Uh, okay. Cards?"
ME: "Tolstoy is cool, WAR!"
THEM: "Okay, you nerd."
ME: "And PEACE!"
THEM: *goes away*
ME: "I think I shall read it again!"
You may have, by now, gauged my level of popularity back then.
I could never figure out what No unauthorised entry" signs meant, as I thought unauthorised was una-thor-sized. I was about 19 years old before I heard someone read one of these signs out loud and realised my mistake.
And there was a magazine that we used to get that would say on the cover "full story on centre pages", I thought it said "certain" pages and would spend ages flicking through the mage looking for the certain pages that the story was on!
when my friend was little, she used to eat paper, thinking it would make her read better.
I used to believe that if I saw or thought of the words 'to be continued' a man in white overalls and hat would go underneath my bed and paint the words underneath my bed. It scared me to see that saying.