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One year, my Dad and I went Christmas shopping and he spent two hours talking a price down on a gift for my mother.When we returned home mom exclaimed "What took you so long?" I replied "Dad spent forever masturbating with the guy at the counter." As soon as I said it my mom cracked up and Dad turned red. I tried to play it off like I knew what I was talking about until I told my friend the story.She explained to me I mixed the word "masturbate" up with the word "haggle."
I used to think that 'the pulitzer prize' was actually, "Pull It - Surprise!" -- Like, you pull a rope and something might fall on you...
When I was young I refused to drink well water because I thought it came out of whales.
I used to believe that whenever people said "So-and-so" that they were talking about an actual person named Soandso.
I always heard "Soandso" did this and "Soandso" did that.
I wondered, who IS this person and how did everyone know him?
Remember the show "Wide World of Sports" that was hosted by Jim McKay? The show opened with McKay saying "Spanning the globe to bring you the constant variety of sport… the thrill of victory… and the agony of defeat… the human drama of athletic competition… This is ABC's Wide World of Sports! For the longest time, even into my adulthood, I thought "agony of defeat" was "agony of the feet."
I used to wonder why we had to pay taxes when we never got to ride in one. I thought taxes and taxis was the same word.
When I was little, I was (sort of) allergic to a certain preservative found in most hot dogs. When I ate them, I'd get this weird feeling in my throat, like there were chunks at the back of my throat. So it seemed logical to say i felt "chunky". My family and I used this commonly around the house for the next few years. At my friend's 6th birthday party, I remember refusing to eat hotdogs " 'Cause they make me chunky!" Now I know why everyone was looking at me weirdly the whole time...
I used to watch 60 minutes and other news shows with my grandmother when I was little. I used to think Alzheimer's diease was called "Old Timers" diesease...it mad since because only OLD people got the dieasese!
When I was young I had heard many times the expression "Naked as a jay bird" and knew what it referred to, but later I heard someone mention something about 'jay walking' and I thought it meant someone was walking around naked.
i used to think that the term 'necking' referred to boyfriends and girlfriends who rubbed their necks together
I used to believe that pinto horses were called that because they had pins in their toes instead of shoes on their feet.
I used to think that booby traps had something to do with actual boobs or bras or something. I think the idea was a combination of it being referred as a "booby" trap and the fact that the first time I heard it was in a movie where these boys were trying to sneak around and they got stuck in a line of bras that were tied together. One of them said, "Oh no! It's a booby trap!" Needless to say, I felt really stupid when I found out it just meant someone had set up a trick or trap for someone else.
that when someone called someone else a prima donna that they were calling them a pre-madonna
i believed this till i was 16
I use to believe that it was Henry the Ape and not Henry the 8th
When I was in elementary school (I was about 9 or 10) I had the biggest crush on this boy in class. One day while playing in the room while my mom watched Cagney & Lacey, I heard the word "rape". I thought it was something a man did to a woman when he liked her...like kissing her. So a few days later when I was out playing with my girl friends I said, "I wish Matt S. would rape me. That would be so cool"....fortunately I was instantly bored with the word and never used it again.....years later I learned what it really meant and boy was I shocked and embarrassed.
When I was little I couldn't pronounce tr's and they came out like an f. So when we were moving, I saw the moving truck and was like "look at the big fuck!" My grandmother thought it was hilarious and so every time we saw a truck she would ask me what it was and meaning to say truck, I would say fuck.
when i was little i used to believe that a tornado was the samw as a tomatoes were the same thing. when my dad told me that a tornado was coming to knock our house down, i imagined a giant tomato punching down our house. i had nightmares about it until my dad finally told me the truth, when i was 9.
I used to believe that "testicles" and "intestines" were the same thing. So once when my dad had me pinned down with his leg so he could tickle my feet, I started to scream, "Move your leg you're squishing my testicles!"
Oh ya, I'm female, and yes my parents STILL laugh about that day.
I used to believe suction cups were called sticky pobs. Especially when applied to the tip of a chameleon's tongue.
For years I heard the word "pedophile" and thought it meant a pedicurist's tool.