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When I was in elementary school (I was about 9 or 10) I had the biggest crush on this boy in class. One day while playing in the room while my mom watched Cagney & Lacey, I heard the word "rape". I thought it was something a man did to a woman when he liked her...like kissing her. So a few days later when I was out playing with my girl friends I said, "I wish Matt S. would rape me. That would be so cool"....fortunately I was instantly bored with the word and never used it again.....years later I learned what it really meant and boy was I shocked and embarrassed.
When I was little I couldn't pronounce tr's and they came out like an f. So when we were moving, I saw the moving truck and was like "look at the big fuck!" My grandmother thought it was hilarious and so every time we saw a truck she would ask me what it was and meaning to say truck, I would say fuck.
when i was little i used to believe that a tornado was the samw as a tomatoes were the same thing. when my dad told me that a tornado was coming to knock our house down, i imagined a giant tomato punching down our house. i had nightmares about it until my dad finally told me the truth, when i was 9.
I used to believe that "testicles" and "intestines" were the same thing. So once when my dad had me pinned down with his leg so he could tickle my feet, I started to scream, "Move your leg you're squishing my testicles!"
Oh ya, I'm female, and yes my parents STILL laugh about that day.
I used to believe suction cups were called sticky pobs. Especially when applied to the tip of a chameleon's tongue.
For years I heard the word "pedophile" and thought it meant a pedicurist's tool.
I used to believe that the word rape was just slang for stabbing someone so when someone got raped they had just been stabbed.
Until I was about 15
When I was little my dad used to travel to Hong Kong a lot for his job, and for the longest time I thought it was pronounced "Honk Honk" because it was a large city with a lot of traffic.
One time there were fireworks outside, which is what I called them, but my parents said that there were fire crackers outside. I thought they were making crackers over a fire!
I had a friend who thought "seeing eye" dogs were called "senile" dogs. Have to watch out for those dogs that can't remember anything!
When I was 8 years old we had a really hot summer (I lived in Oklahoma), and I walked home from school and I thought I was having a stroke. I was just dehydrated. Anyway, I started drinking water really fast. My brother walked over to me and said "Careful, you'll hydrate yourself."
Until about two months ago (I'm 19), I thought hydrating yourself meant killing yourself.
I told everyone at work, that "Ireland" was really supposed to be "Ourland", because with the Irish accent, it just sounds like "Ireland". They believed it.
I was 14 years old and my mother was talking about veterans day coming up. I looked at her and said " ya know mom, I have never understood why they have a day to celebrate Veterinarians...I mean it's great that they take care of animals but why is it so special to everyone?" My mom started laughing so hard I thought she was going to pee her pants- literally rolling on the ground. When she finally could gather herself she looked at me and said "is that what you have thought your whole life?" and then started laughing again. Took her about 30 minutes before she would explain that I was wrong....I felt like an idiot!
I used to think that a dual carriageway was a "jewel carriageway" and was studded with diamonds, rubies and sapphires! Then one day on a journey my mum said something to my dad about stopping for our picnic lunch, and he said "Wait till we get off this dual carriageway." I realised we were actually on one, and not a diamond in sight. It was a terrible disappointment. I've never got over it
When I was little I thought the X-ing sign (like duck x-ing... we have a lot of ducks in our town) was pronounced like Zing. I always wondered why they zinged the ducks.
I used to believe that the Pokémon psyduck was pronounced 'pussy-duck'
Until relatively recently (I think i was about 17 and I'm 25 now) I thought the saying "up and at em" was "up and Adam" since I heard it but never saw it written down.
I was really taken aback when someone told me what "toe jam" actually means. Before that, I had heard the term quite a few times, always thinking it was the name of some rock band.
When I was 8 or 9 there was a very unpleasant girl in my class. She was on my bus and lived at a place called "____ Manor," so I thought that's where they sent the really bad kids to learn their "manners." Every time my parents yelled at me for misbehaving, I thought that they didn't realize how fortunate they were to have me: at least I wasn't so nasty that I had to be sent to a manor!
I used to think the the "gyne" in gynecologist was pronounced like the end of the word "vagina," much to my embarrassment when I had to read it out loud in high school health class.