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This one is not mine, it's my oldest daughter's... When she was about two, we were driving somewhere (I think I was taking her to the McDonald's for a treat), and she was very excited, and kept saying, "Look for it, Mommy, look hard...", to which I told her I was looking hard, and asked her if she was looking, and she said yes, but she didn't see the McDonald's. I told her that we would see it soon, and told her, "Keep your eyes peeled, and you'll find it," to which she replied, "But Mommy, I DON'T WANT to peel my eyes! That would hurt reawwy bad!" I laughed so hard I nearly had to pull the car over.
I used to believe the word "isolated" meant "maybe". This was due to the weather reports on the news saying isolated showers, and my parents saying that meant maybe it would rain and maybe it wouldn't.
As an African from an English colony,I used to believe that all white people spoke English.Really.So when I saw a white person,I would say,"there goes another 'England man'"
I never imagined I would grow up speaking English far more better than millions of white people.
I used to believe that anyone speaking a foreign language translated it into english in their head
I used to believe the word 'lack' meant lots of something. I'd say things like "we sure have a lack of pepsi here!", and adults thought I had learned sarcasm.
I really used to believe that languages had barriers,physical barriers and you were prevented from crossing from one language to the other unless you had some kind of a permit or visa
I used to believe that the phrase "the whole kit and caboodle" was "the whole kitten caboodle". Based on that, I thoought that "caboodle" must mean a litter of kittens, especially a large one. Like if a mother cat had, say, eight kittens in a single litter, it might be said that she really had quite a caboodle of kittens.
when i was little i used to think bumble bee was actually pronounced bumbow bee
I used to think the heimlich manoeuvre was called the heimlich remover. I did not know until about a year ago (when i was 25!) that it was the manoeuvre, my boyfriend still makes fun of me for it.
Me and my friend asked her little brother if he knew was gay meant, and he said "yeah, it means like happy."
It was cute.
When I was about seven years old, I found out that the word 'bitch' was the name for a female dog.
Then one day, when I was playing outside with my big brother and his friends, one of them came up to me and said 'Sophie, do you know what a male dog is called?'
I said 'B***ard' and they all laughed at me and called me stupid.
I ran home crying and to this day I've not told my family what happened.
My mother is from London and she always used to say 'maswell,' as in 'yeah, we maswell do that.' I never really thought about it until it came to my GCSE English Lit exam and I could not figure out how to spell it. She said it again a few days later and I questioned her over it. Turns out 'maswell' is actually her version of may as well. I have no idea why I didn't work it out earlier.
Until recently I thought that a minge was a weird sort of cake...
(I have no idea why)
My brother was helping me create an email address and I said go away and I'll do it myself, I thought of the perfect one, Eat My Minge, I thought it was brilliant and when I went to add my brother he ran into my room and asked if that was me, he looked angry and I just replied "No". He asked me who it was and I said it was a friend of mine. He asked me if I knew what it meant and I said I did but I wouldn't tell him. (I was so pannicked that it might be something really bad) I googled it and to my horror I found out it was slang for Vagina.
When I was about 11, I heard or saw the phrase "jerk off" somewhere. I didn't know what it really meant, so I deducted that it meant to fool around or goof off. So my older cousin took me to the mall one day, and I at the time hated shopping, so I said to her, loudly, "Let's go jerk off in the arcade!!"
Yeah, it was pretty shortly that I learned what "jerk off" really meant. I cringe now thinking of how many times I said that without knowing that I was suggested that me and my friends go masturbate.
I used to think our lawn mower was called a "lawn lower". This made sense because it made the grass lower. When I found out I was wrong I still thought my way made more sense because I didn't think "mower" was even a real word. By the time I was 8 I finally got it right.
When I was 10, I thought that 'Lesbian' was a Lebanese woman. I had a feeling I wasn't right though, so I asked my equally naive friend. She told me it was two women who lived together.
Thanks to her, I used to go around saying my sister and I were lesbians.
Oh, the look on my mum's face when she heard me say that.
Well. There are a few words I come across I cannot pronounce properly the first time I read it. The one I remember most is the word "patio." I was reading from a novel, and I remember re-reading the section about the "patio" (which I was pronouncing "Pay-She-Oh, probably due to French lessons.) Anyways, I turned to my mom and was like "What is a Pay-She-Oh?" and she was like "What?!?!" (This is coming from a grammar/spelling nerd, and a kid who used to read dictionaries and encyclopedias for fun, so it was extremely embarrassing for me.) I turned around and said "Pay-She-Oh." again, thinking it was some strange word. I showed my mom and read: (This is basically what it said, as far as I remember.) "They were sitting around a table on the pay-she-oh, eating Sloppy Joes." she turned around and looked me in the eye, and said "Honey, that's Pat-Ee-Oh." I really, really felt embarrassed. I've always taken my spelling, grammar, and pronunciation very seriously, and needless to say, I was tormenting myself by studying more of the dictionary after this happened.
When I was about 4 my neighbor would say "Peas" every time we said goodbye, I picked up on it and began saying "peas" to all my friends. My mother told me (after my neighbor moved away) that he was in fact saying "peace." D'oh
I would always get words mixed up, and two I still have problems with today are Mushroom and Marshmallow, and Sleeping Bag and Suitcase. I always need to think, Okay I need to pack my sleep...Suitcase.
I had only heard the name of the combo Hall and Oates, so I thought their name was Haulin' Oats -- like what you do if you have to take your oats across town. It was associated in my mind with hauling ass, and it wasn't until college until I figured out my mistake when I said to a friend, "Hey, the show starts in ten minutes. We better haul oats."