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When I was about seven years old, I found out that the word 'bitch' was the name for a female dog.
Then one day, when I was playing outside with my big brother and his friends, one of them came up to me and said 'Sophie, do you know what a male dog is called?'
I said 'B***ard' and they all laughed at me and called me stupid.
I ran home crying and to this day I've not told my family what happened.
My mother is from London and she always used to say 'maswell,' as in 'yeah, we maswell do that.' I never really thought about it until it came to my GCSE English Lit exam and I could not figure out how to spell it. She said it again a few days later and I questioned her over it. Turns out 'maswell' is actually her version of may as well. I have no idea why I didn't work it out earlier.
Until recently I thought that a minge was a weird sort of cake...
(I have no idea why)
My brother was helping me create an email address and I said go away and I'll do it myself, I thought of the perfect one, Eat My Minge, I thought it was brilliant and when I went to add my brother he ran into my room and asked if that was me, he looked angry and I just replied "No". He asked me who it was and I said it was a friend of mine. He asked me if I knew what it meant and I said I did but I wouldn't tell him. (I was so pannicked that it might be something really bad) I googled it and to my horror I found out it was slang for Vagina.
When I was about 11, I heard or saw the phrase "jerk off" somewhere. I didn't know what it really meant, so I deducted that it meant to fool around or goof off. So my older cousin took me to the mall one day, and I at the time hated shopping, so I said to her, loudly, "Let's go jerk off in the arcade!!"
Yeah, it was pretty shortly that I learned what "jerk off" really meant. I cringe now thinking of how many times I said that without knowing that I was suggested that me and my friends go masturbate.
I used to think our lawn mower was called a "lawn lower". This made sense because it made the grass lower. When I found out I was wrong I still thought my way made more sense because I didn't think "mower" was even a real word. By the time I was 8 I finally got it right.
When I was 10, I thought that 'Lesbian' was a Lebanese woman. I had a feeling I wasn't right though, so I asked my equally naive friend. She told me it was two women who lived together.
Thanks to her, I used to go around saying my sister and I were lesbians.
Oh, the look on my mum's face when she heard me say that.
Well. There are a few words I come across I cannot pronounce properly the first time I read it. The one I remember most is the word "patio." I was reading from a novel, and I remember re-reading the section about the "patio" (which I was pronouncing "Pay-She-Oh, probably due to French lessons.) Anyways, I turned to my mom and was like "What is a Pay-She-Oh?" and she was like "What?!?!" (This is coming from a grammar/spelling nerd, and a kid who used to read dictionaries and encyclopedias for fun, so it was extremely embarrassing for me.) I turned around and said "Pay-She-Oh." again, thinking it was some strange word. I showed my mom and read: (This is basically what it said, as far as I remember.) "They were sitting around a table on the pay-she-oh, eating Sloppy Joes." she turned around and looked me in the eye, and said "Honey, that's Pat-Ee-Oh." I really, really felt embarrassed. I've always taken my spelling, grammar, and pronunciation very seriously, and needless to say, I was tormenting myself by studying more of the dictionary after this happened.
When I was about 4 my neighbor would say "Peas" every time we said goodbye, I picked up on it and began saying "peas" to all my friends. My mother told me (after my neighbor moved away) that he was in fact saying "peace." D'oh
I would always get words mixed up, and two I still have problems with today are Mushroom and Marshmallow, and Sleeping Bag and Suitcase. I always need to think, Okay I need to pack my sleep...Suitcase.
I had only heard the name of the combo Hall and Oates, so I thought their name was Haulin' Oats -- like what you do if you have to take your oats across town. It was associated in my mind with hauling ass, and it wasn't until college until I figured out my mistake when I said to a friend, "Hey, the show starts in ten minutes. We better haul oats."
I used to think that when you went to a baby shower, you actually had to buy the baby a shower and the ones the parents didn't want they'd throw it away. I was a strange kid.
My spanish teacher used to think "strip malls" were places you find strippers. She was shocked when someone in our class told her she was working at the strip mall
this is true... my friend maria thought that she was caucasian because she is a cocky asian. i told her what it really meant and she was sad.
When my room was a mess I thought my mum was saying "it looks like a bombsit" which always confused me. I was about 16 when I realised she was actually saying "it looks like a bomb's hit it".
My sister also thought that balloon was actually said 'bloon' and that crayon was 'crown'.
i used to think that bounty hunters hunted bounty paper towels, so i always imagined some guy with a gun shooting big rolls of paper towels. i believed that tell was in 4th grade
I believed that each person could only say a certain amount of words in their lifetime. Somehow I got that from what a person told me about having to use words wisely. Which was why I was worried that my talkative brother would soon use all of his up.
One day when I was about 7 or 8 my guy friend from across the street came over. He was always bragging about anything he could think of, so one day I told him I could speak Cherokee, he asked me to prove it and I just blurted out some random made up words. My dad had been BBQing just a few feet away and when I stopped "talking" he said "Pretty good Cherokee sweetie."
After that I had completely convinced my friend that I could speak Cherokee, and my dad had convinced me that I could too.
I was about 11 when I finally figured out that he was kidding.
When I was quite young I thought that 'this morning' was 'the smorning', and that it was some strange figure of speech, not a time of day.
"The smorning was cold."
i used to belive cock.. was another word for poop.. and i used to go arond yelling mom i need to take a cock.. or look momy the dog is taking a cock.. lma too much
I lived in Spain when I was young and went to an international school. Every day at lunch we had to say grace which began with 'Let us Pray' and there was always a plate of salad in front of us. One day I was sent home from school because I refused to say the words for the lettuces (Letuspray...lettuces)....