i used to believe

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When i was in kindergarten, i used to think that i invented the words million and billion

Comonsnadama
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When i was about 5 i was watching an old movie on tv where a lady was yelling at a guy, saying he should be ashamed of himself for "robbing a young woman of her virtue". I knew what robbing meant- taking something away. But what was a virtue? I asked my mom who as i recall was scrubbing the bathtub. "Patience is a virtue" she mumbled. So i assumed that "robbing someone of their virtue" meant making them lord their patience. Fast forward to the next day. I'm in the cart at the grocery store watching my Milky Way candy bar creep slowly down the conveyor belt. "Mom, can i have my candy now?" I asked. But she insisted i wait until we left the store. I sighed loudly and declared, "Mom, you are ROBBING ME OF MY VIRTUE!" She turned 7 shades of red and rushed of out of the store. It wasn't until a good 10 years later when i say that movie again that i understood what the phrase meant.

Jamie, the virtuous
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At the age of about 4-6, I thought a supermodel was someone who made clothes.

Walker
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top belief!

I used to think testers were short for testacles! So in the shop i used to say can i try a testacle!

Ro
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top belief!

My father is a paramedic so one day after work when I was about 6 yrs old, he said today I had a patient with his bone sticking out of his leg. Earlier that week I heard someone say boner, and though thats what it meant. So I said , like a boner? lol he didnt talk to me for a while

TaNeal
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i used to think that only men could get bachelors degrees. i thought women got bachelorettes degrees.

Anon
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My OLDER (Haha) sister had two friends sleeping over and it was late at night when we rememberd to walk the dogs so we all had to go together so we wouldnt get kidnapped (That was the rull) And so me, her and her two friends were walking the dogs at the park and one of her friends just randomly sai the word "Mojo" (From Austin Powers) And they all started to laugh (And yes, they are all older than me!) And I said, do you guys even know what that is? And they all said yes and I said, okay, then what is it? And my sister was like, we cant tell you! And I explained it to them and they were like, nu'u! And then they asked our sixteen year old sister and she said the same thing and they wouldnt talk to me for the rest of the nigh! XD

Dessy
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My dad has this weird belief that an autoharp is actually called an altoharp, but he pronounces alto to rhyme with balto. We used to argue about it a lot. I only heard him say it correctly once. He played one when he was a kid, and I think he misheard what his teacher called it. I think of that and laugh when I play it.

keyboardplayer
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top belief!

One time I was driving in the car with my mom. I wanted her to eject a cd from the cd player in the car. Earlier on in the day I had heard the word ejaculation. I thought the word eject was an abbreviation for the word ejaculate. So in an attempt to show off my big vocabulary to my mom, I said, "Mom can you ejaculate the cd."

Courtney
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My kindergarten teacher was English, so for the longest time I thought 'rubbish' was the correct word to use, not garbage, and that the letter 'H' was pronounced with a Huh sound in front of it, like Hach, not ach.

Anon
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when i was young i always pronounced nipples as nickles my mother thought it was cute and never told me otherwise i assumed everyone else used the same word right up until year 6 when we began sex education the teacher pointed to the nipples asked what they were and i said nickled the class laughed at me and i was very angry with my mother

donna
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When my sister was about 9 or 10 she used to pronounce "chaos" like "chows"

Anon
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My mother used to tell me to never spit in front of women. She was trying to teach me to be a gentleman, but I took her literally. From then on, I spat only BEHIND women. One day, as we were walking through the mall parking lot, I spit on the ground. My mother scolded me to "Never spit in front of women". So I spit behind her. She thought I was being a smarta$$, and she slapped me silly.

Nathan
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My mother used to believe that greenhouse gases came from real greenhouses and so was scared of walking near them because she knew that greenhouse gases were bad!

Anon
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my Grandmother likes to tell the story about, when I was four years old, a neighborhood boy kept coming into my backyard and bothering me, so she told me to "just kick him out" the next time he bothers me... and how, not long after, she came outside to see me kicking the poor little boy's shins all the way to the sidewalk!

harleyhalfmoon
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i used to believe that when u have grown up u wuld be able to speak all langiages

neo
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You know how 'a couple' usually means 2, and 'a few' is mopre then that? Well, when I was in first and second grade, i always got them confused, because 'few' sounded like 'two', and i used to argue with the other kids when they tried to tell me different...

Anon
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My cousins lived out in the country when I was younger, and one time they got all freaked out because someone said there were "poachers" prowling the woods. Being the little chunker that I was, I was ecstatic at the prospect of nice strangers coming by to cook us some poached eggs.

Paul
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I'm 20 years old, by the way...
Up until tonight, I believed that Molotov Cocktails were a kind of drink. I was talking on the phone with my mom, when she told me of this story on the news about a man in New York City who stood on top of a building, and threw Molotov Cocktails off of the building and onto the street, causing really bad damage. I was totally baffled as to why anybody would want to throw a bunch of drinks off a building. I even had this mental image of some guy on top of a tall building, throwing drinks in these little cocktail glasses onto the street. My response to this was, "Wow, sounds like *he* had a few too many Molotov Cocktails!", wondering why in the hell anyone would want to do such a weird thing. It was then that I found out that Molotov Cocktails are actually bombs that start on fire when you throw them at things.... oh dear...

~Dominique~
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While playing the game Clue with my family when I was about 10 I discovered that the Lead pipe, rhymes with RED and not READ. When I announced that my guess was that Miss Peacock did it in the conservatory with the LEAD (rhymes with read) pipe my whole family burst into laughter...I however burst into tears from the embarrasment!!

Red faced with embarrasment
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