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I used to believe that the term "thing" referred not to any kind of object, but to a specific one which for some reason looked like a reddish, deflated balloon(especially in the context of "poor thing"). And when I heard the term "wits", as in "I've lost my wits" I pictured these as white plastic button-like objects.
When I was a very young girl I talked a lot and people would make me feel bad by saying how much I talked and that I should talk less. My grandmother heard this and told me this... "Don't worry people who talk a lot never have bad breath because the germs can't live in a mouth that is always moving." I believed this and I always thought that the priest at my church had very bad breath so he must not talk alot. I then proceeded to tell him that he should talk more so his breath wouldn't stink so much. :( Needless to say I got in trouble.
I used to believe that a "grilled cheese sandwich" was a "girl cheese sandwich" and would refuse them and demand a "boy cheese sandwich". I was a sexist little kid.
I used to believe that the phrase "outer space" was really "out of space"... as in a spaceship from "out of space". My reasoning was that space is the boundary of the place we know, and weird things come from beyond it. I still catch myself saying it to this day, and I'm in my forties.
I had my wife convinced that Steven Hawking made his fortune as the original voice for the speak N spell toy.
I used to believe that "boots" were actually called "boots on". This was because whenever it was time to go outside, my parents would tell me, "get your boots on!".
Because of this, whenever I wanted to take them off, I would tell my parents that I wanted my boots on off.
I read a lot of Calvin and Hobbes as a young child, so one day I found myself wondering, "Why don't speech bubbles come out of our mouths as we talk?" This puzzled me for at least a month afterward.
When I was young & we said the pledge of allegiance in school I always thought that was "and to the republice for witched stance". I was so relieved when I finally realized that it was "for which it stands". It just made so much more sense!
I used to believe that i could understand what my baby sisters and brothers could say.i went around translating for like two years.
I used to believ that "Shooting the Bull" literally meant what it states.
I thought the song "Secret Agent Man" was "Secret Asian Man" until I was in JR. High and they did a skit with a secret agent.
I used to hear grownups say "So-and-so is really struggling to make ends meet", but I thought they were saying ends MEAT - the cheepest, yuckiest cut of beef there ever was. I always felt so sorry for the poor people who couldn't even afford to make ends meat.
When I was in preschool, if we couldn't go to an area it was "Off Limits." Me, not knowing the word "off" in that context, and not knowing what the word "limits" meant. I thought it was some German term, like Auflimetz, that mean "Don't Go Here"
When I was about 9, I had a 2 year old baby sister and a few months old baby brother. Sometimes, I would play with them and then they gurgle and mumble stuff and look at each other. I used to think they were communicating in some secret baby organization language, and it made the most sense to me. I asked myself: "How come I don't remember those times when I was a baby?".
Then I came to the conclusion that they had a secret Baby organization in some base and that they were members of it. I thought that when members got too old, they erase any memory of the organization.
From then on, I started interrogating my baby sister and brother whenever my parents would leave them alone with me.
Acctually, this is about a girl in my clas. She thought you said ,"Blesh you." instead of "Bless you." No lie, she just learned it yesterday.
When i was a kid, i asked my grandfather how the heat in our house worked. He showed me the baseboard heater in the kitchen and said something that i heard as "the heating elephants inside". Eventually i found out he was saying "elements" but for a long time i had imagined little tiny elephants walking around inside the heater to make it warm. i spent about an hour that day sitting next to the heater trying to look inside it and see the elephants.
I used to think "President" and "present" were the same thing, so every year I would be disappointed I never got any presents on "Presidents Day".
Accordingly, I always got to open the presidents during Christmas.
I used to believe that as a Canadian, I spoke English without an accent; that Canadians and most Americans simply did not have an accent and that British, Australians and everyone else had an accent.
Along with this I also believed this lack of an accent made it so that only Canadians and Americans could pretend to have an accent.
Somewhere along the line, my younger sister got it in her head that "kinky" meant "fun". She told my grandmother she liked the spiral slide at the playground because it was "kinky".
When I was really young, I thought saying 'good riddance' to people was a posh, grown-up way of saying goodbye. I never quite understood why everyone would tell me off for being rude when I said it.