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When I was really young, I thought saying 'good riddance' to people was a posh, grown-up way of saying goodbye. I never quite understood why everyone would tell me off for being rude when I said it.
When I was in elementary school, a substitute teacher once tiold us we were going to go to the lavatory, but I heard her tell us that she was taking us to the "laboratory." I honestly thought she was going to perform experiments on us in there. You can imagine the impact it's had on me ever since.
I used to truely believe that everyone had it wrong and that "yellow" was actually pronounced "lello". when i was 4 i slapped a girl because she insisted that it was "yellow" and that i just didn't know how to talk properly. When i told the kindergarten teacher why i slapped her, she said that it actually was "yellow" and i screamed at her that she was an idiot and didn't deserve to be a teacher!
When MSN and AIM first got really popular, everyone said LOL when they laughed. I thought LOL meant hello, so I went around saying LOL whenever I see someone. That continued for half a year until my friend told me I was weird.
When I was really young, probably about 3 years old, I thought "attention" was a cool minty candy that came in green band-aid tins. I'm not sure how I got this idea, but my parents thought maybe my grandma had used the word when applying band-aids to my cousins. Anyhow, one day I got to thinking about this "attention," and decided I wanted some. I marched into my parents room, where they were sitting and talking. "I want some attention!!" I demanded. They both turned, focused on me, and said, "sure, honey, you have our attention." I was extremely confused, and asked again - only to get the same response. I was about ready to freak out when they finally asked me if I knew what attention was. Finally cleared that one up!
I believed "lesbians" and "Presbyterians" were the same thing; I still don't know why. I can't imagine the conversations I had mixing those two up.
One night, my luittle sister came into my room. She saw a tag on mu dresser. it had been torn off of a set of pajamas, and read something along the lines of "this garment is not fire-retardent"
My sister asked me what a "garment was, and I told her that it was the trident-shaped peice on a bike-helmet buckle.
She belived me.
I was frightened to say the word peanut thinking that I might be misunderstood for saying penis. Also for hearting penis when people would say peanut. Can you imagine the tension all this misunderstanding caused!
When I was a precocious 3 year old, I was certain that all adults spoke Martian among themselves.
I "proved" it to myself by slowly sneaking up on conversations between my mother & our neighbors.
Sure enough, as soon as they psychically detected my presence, the wa-wa underwater-sounds of Martian would smoothly segue into English.
Until I was around 15 I thought minestrone (soup) was pronounce MINE-strown.
My sister used to pronounce Jai'Alai (sport) like this: JAY-a-lay.
Guess it runs in the family...
When our parents would go to Las Vegas for the weekend, they always promised to bring back some souvenirs for us. I was absolutely certain that they were really saying "soup and ears," and of course I thought that was a VERY strange thing to eat. Soup and crackers, I could understand, but...
I never had health class or "the talk" from my parents; so I always thought that vagina was pronounced like Regina. (va-jeen-a)
I thought that "Doube Bubble Toil and Trouble" was "Doube Bubble, Toilet Trouble"
My elementary school was very big on teaching us that litter was bad. I misheard the word as "glitter".
When my brother tried to drop a cup outside the window of our car once in a parking lot, I told him grumpily, "No glittering." I imagined that all the litter, if left on the sidewalk for long enough, would turn into glitter. Of course it made sense that glittering wasn't allowed--glitter was a pain to clean up if there was a lot of it spilled!
You know that little toy that you ask a quesstion and then shake it and it lands on yes or no? I had one when I was little, and a few years ago, I was talking about it, and wondering why it was called an ape ball. I found out when everybody laughed at me that it's called 8 ball. To this day, whenever I try to say it, it comes out ape ball.
When I was in my seventh grade science class, I kept pronouncing the word organism as orgasm. I wondered why every time my teacher would correct me he would laugh at the same time. It wasn't until I got to high school that I realized what I was saying. LOL
It took me FOREVER to realize that "Vewers like you" meamt veiwers, like me. I thougt it was giibeish
At 2nd grade, I changed schools, and in the new school, they called the toilet the "lavatory". I had never heard the word before, and I thought they were saying "laboratory". So on my first day at the new school, when kids said, "May I go to the lavatory?", I wondered where they were going.
I reasoned that if everyone wanted to go there, it must be some kind of room with toys.
After about a week, I finally figured it out. Boy, I was disappointed!
I used to think that green was purple and purple was green... and now I still have to think about it before saying purple or green.
I used to think that risque was just another way of saying risky.