language: speaking

I used to think that when people said 'God Bless You' after someone sneezed, that they were really saying "Gosh! Bleshoe!" thinking that Bleshoe was the word for a sneeze and that people were pointing out the painfully obvious.

When I was seven, I confused a row of spectators in a movie theater by asking them if the seat next to them was "bacon." I repeated the question several times, thinking they couldn't hear me, unaware that the word I should have used was "vacant."

I used to believe when my Mom would tell me that Christmas was "just around the corner" that the people on the next block were having Christmas and we had to wait our turn.

My parents told me that my great-grandmother was in the 'historical society'. I thought that they meant 'hysterical society' - and that they sat around all day laughing like maniacs.

Around age 10 I heard my mother in a verbal fight with my grandmother. She said something about being "aloof and cold", and I thought for years that she had said "a hoof and colt".

If you're from the Northeast USA, you may remember the chain-store Caldor (also called Caldors). Well, until I was about 6, I thought that the name was Cow-Doors. I was always looking for those cows.

My friend, whose last name is Hanlon, thought that her name was Hamlon until she learned to read and write. You know...like ham.

Not really a belief , but a mispronuciation. When I was a freshman in High School I was asked to define an organism in my Biology class. I knew what it was but I called it an orgasm. Repeatedly. I couldn't understand why everyone was sniggering at my "correct" answer.

I used to say it was "Pit dark" or Pit black instead of pitch when I was explaining how dark it was outside. I always thought it refered to how dark it was at the bottom of a bottomless pit.

I once asked a teenage friend's dad on the way to a play what a "thespian" was, since it was being put on by a Thespian club. He told me, straight faced, that it was when the doctor came in and said to the parents, "Well, he's healthy, but he'll never be quite right." I thought I was going to see a play put on by the disabled.

I had always thought 'laminacs' were crazy lambs. I was a special kid.

When I was in kindergarten, my father ran his own construction company. When he came home one day complaining to my Mom about how he was going to have to fire a guy, I thought he meant that he was going to burn the guy at the stake, on top of a big bonfire of leftover construction materials.

When I went to Disney World when I was four ,I really thought Epcot was pronounced Cobweb, and I'll never forget how embarassed I was after jumping on the bed telling my parents how excited I was to go to Cobweb today.

I used to think that the letter W had a sound that you'd repeat U two times. I was three and would pronounce, for example, watermelon: "U-Umelon". (double u...?)

I used to think there were 3 guys who lived together in a cabin and made up all the words

When I was little, I liked to ask lots of questions. And sometimes I would ask my parents. And they would reply(since I am sure they were tired of hearing my questions) go look it up in your *funkin wagnal* I had no idea that meant dictionary. I always thought they were cussing at me.

As a child my father used to fix his car with a tool called a ratchet, I always thought he was saying "pass the rat sh*t" I always gave a confused look and meandered off incase I got wrong for knowing what a sh*t was. or even worse, had to actually pick it up!