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Because of my sister, I've always been keen on different disabilities that people have. One day at the store we ran into a friend of my mom's who was using a wheelchair. I asked my mom later what she had and I swear she said "voo-kee-oo cremalaptis." It was about a decade later that I realized she had said MULTIPLE SCLEROSIS.
I thought it was "all of THE sudden" instead of "all of A sudden." I was like past high school when I found out and I still cannot stop saying it my way! I can't even write it--I use "suddenly" instead!
When I was little I thought This Old Man was "Dissell Man" and the only "man" I could think of was a snowman. When the song says "This Old Man came rolling home" I pictured a snowman, completely adorned, on its side rolling up to my back door.
I used to believe that "according" meant playing the accordion, since it sounded like accordion.
I used to be in a class with a girl whose last name was Lurdet. I kept mishearing it as Lordette and thought that a lordette was the female version of a lord.
I used to believe that when my mother was going to run errands, that she was actually going to the retailer called "Aaron's". I was confused when we never went there!
I used to think that a Prima Donna was a "Pre-Madonna" and when someone was called "Pre-Madonna" it meant they were like a young Madonna.
I've always misunderstood the phrase "you can never have too many friends."
I took it to mean that "having too many friends is bad, therefore it should never happen."
I was wondering why it would be a bad thing to have too many friends, and suddenly it hit me that I was misinterpreting it!
I thought the word "eerie" meant that someone had big ears. When my teacher told me that my Halloween costume made me look "eerie", I got quite offended!
When I whas 7, I learned my first "bad" word, my mother told me that only criminals use that word.
so i was always thinking that if i say any bad word, the police would come and put me in jail.
When I heard the name Jose, I thought it was actually spelled "Hoasai". I had seen the name Jose in print, and may have known its pronunciation, but never connected it to "hoasai".
I thought the word mailman was male man and it seemed dumb to me as aren't all men male?
I used to pronounce the word 'nuclear' like 'nuke-yuh-lar.' My parents and brother told me that George Bush pronounced the word 'nuclear' wrong, but when people told me how he said it, I couldn't hear the difference. I assumed I was saying it correctly, though. One day my brother noticed how I said it and told me I said it like George Bush. I felt terribly stupid, but I still couldn't hear the difference, so I tried not to say the word. Finally, a friend of mine helped me say it right, "Say new. Now say clear. Now say new-clear."
I used to think the phrase "point of view" was actually "point of you." Since it sounds so similar, nobody noticed until I was about 12.
When I was a kid I believed the phrase "the fastest way to a man's heart is through his stomach" was suggesting that you bypass the ribcage and sternum by going through the stomach and reaching up when you rip a man's heart out
I thought "birthday" was actually "Bert day" to celebrate Bert from Bert and Ernie. My mom must have thought I was just mispronouncing it because she didn't correct me until I was about 7 years old, at which point she had to explain to me what a birthday was.
When I was young, I'd try to make my mother laugh by telling her jokes. She'd usually roll her eyes and remark dryly, "That's hilarious." So for many years, I believed that "hilarious" meant "not very funny."
When my uncle got "ten-year" (tenure!) at the university, I thought he had a job for 10 years, so I wondered why his position was secure for life (and why they didn't call it something more accurate!)
When I was a kid and was misbehaving at my grandparents' house, my grandfather, who was an Army veteran, told me if I didn't shape up he'd "put me on report". I then would turn around and tell my mom when my parents got back that he said he was going to "put me on the porch".
I used to believe people could use up all their words and my dead great-grandmother who wasn't speaking used up her words.