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I thought that "losing your cool" meant you weren't cool anymore (as in weren't awesome) so I felt offended when my mother told me I'd lost my cool.
I thought that people only said, "Guess what?!" when delivering good news. So when Dad said, "Hey, guess what?! Eva broke her arm!!" (Eva is my friend and she's OK now, this was years ago), I was shocked at him and wondered why he thought it was good news that my friend broke her arm.
I used to believe that the word "artificial" was actually "art official," like artifical flavored candy was some sort of official art or something.
For a while I believed that saliva was a naughty word to say, because it seemed like a private bodily fluid that you should not mention in public.
I thought that when people talked about skyscrapers they were referring to the jet airliners that I had always seen flying overhead leaving behind them white scrape marks on the sky. My brother corrected me one day when I pointed up and said, "Look, there goes a skyscraper." After he told me that it really meant a super tall building I thought that was absurd, because a tall building doesn't leave a scrape mark!
I used to believe GPS stood for Ginormous Processing System.
I used to believe the word seal had two different spellings. If you mean the animal, you'd spell it "seal" and if you mean the rubber band thing used to close lids, you spell it "seel".
I thought that exorcise and exercise both meant the same thing
I heard the word "pundit" a lot when my parents watched the news, and figured it must be a type of comedian who used puns all the time. I thought it was short for "pun bandit".
I used to believe the world spoke English except for French when I was little boy. I thought only the French spoke French. In the end one day a German spoke to me...
I used to think that the baby slings were called carrions.
When I was little, like 6-7 years old, my dad would sometimes discuss something late at night that I heard as "horse bath".Not really sure why that was a discussion but you never know. -\_(:/)_/- So the next day I went around telling everyone at school that I knew what a "horse bath" was when in reality it was actually "whores bath" and that I had gone around telling everyone I knew about them. Needless to say, I got a good number of calls home and never made that mistake again.
When I was laughing hysterically at something, my mom would ask me "What's so funny that's making you laugh so much like Hanina". I had no idea who "Hanina" really was, but I thought it was the name of some girl that my parents knew who liked laughing a lot. Later, I found out that she meant "laugh like a hyena", not "Hanina", and a hyena was an animal that laughs.
I used to pronounce the word "Computer" as "Crocuta"
I used to think bonsai was a wolf instead of a tree
Nobody in my family has seen The Exorcist so for the longest time, we all thought "The power of Christ compels you" means that the speaker feels compelled to do good because of Christ. The rest of my family still believes that, and I still haven't seen The Exorcist.
When I was little, hearing songs in other languages, I honestly thought they were just making noises with their mouths along with the music. I knew other languages existed but I often found these songs in English dubbed animes so I thought the people that made it English, so I thought the noises that were actually Japanese lyrics, were straight up just noises.
My friend told me that "namreg" was "moron" spelled backwards, and i believed it until my mom said it wasn't
When i was like five, I was convinced that an antelope was something you put letters in.
As a little kid I used to think that gazebos were called "Azibos"(like the character Azibo from Panwapa).
I never saw the word "gazebo" spelled out so the first time i did, I thought it was pronounced "gayz bo" and that it was a separate word from "Azibo", until i tried to draw a picture of one and spell the word below it.