speaking

I remember my aunt teaching me some basic manners. She gave me a piece of gum, and said "now say thank you" which I did, and she replied "you're welcome" but i thought she said "you're well gum" and thought you only had to say that when you gave someone a piece of gum.

Jill454

my parents for some reason told my sister and i that toushee was a name for a girls private part. so one day at camp a counselor told a boy to shake his toushee. i was so confused! i later found out toushee was another name for butt!

Anon

For the longest time, I thought "granite" was the same word as "granted", so I thought that when somebody was "taking you for granted" it meant that you were going with them to collect rocks in the forest or something.

kitten

I used to think that "facade" was pronounced "fuckade" (I accidentally said it that way while giving a presentation in 4th grade - oops!) and I also thought "pisces" was pronounced "pisses".

Kitten

For years, until I was about ten or eleven I believed that when people were saying 'round of applause' they were really saying 'round of the plors' and I imagined little aliens called plors walking round in a circle and clapping.

Jesi

I lived in Germany when I was younger, as my Dad was in the British Army. Saddam Hussain was an the TV alot, and for years I used to run around shouting 'Mum 'That Damn Hussain' is on the tele again!'

I coudn't work out why she just laughed at me, now I know.

Emilié

when people said it was "raining cats and dogs" i'd always go out to check but always came back disappointed because it was only water.

sunshine

I used to think that the phrase "It's a dog eat dog world'' was its a dogey dog world.

Gabral

I used to think that it was bad luck to say sweet dreams before someone would go to sleep.

Amy S.

i thought that weed eaters were called we deeters

Anon

I had a dream once that if you spoke while you were moving, you'd turn into an animal. For weeks afterwards, I'd make sure I was perfectly still before saying a word.

Snap-hiss

one time when i was like 5, my grandma told me she wanted to take me to a ballet sometime. but my dad said, "no, you don't want to go to a stinky ballet. you want to go to a monster truck rally! those are awesome!" and my grandma said, "don't brainwash the girl", and i thought it literally meant sticking my head in a tub full of soap and water, and scrubbing my whole head, until the soap got in my ears and washed out my brain. i was sooo scared of that concept for the longest time.

rachael

I used to say "Suck My Blue" instead of Sacre bleu. My parents always corrected me and i never realised why.

Meaghan

When i was about 5, I thought "clouds" were pronounced "clowns" and everytime me and my little sister where outside, we'd look for the clowns in the sky

sunshine

When people call Mexicans 'wetbacks,' I thought that 'wetbacks' were meant when a person takes a shower or plays with water, they're back was wet.

Anon

I used to think that the word ornament was was 'orderment'.

andy

my little brother used to think that turantular was said 'tri-antular'.

anty man

I used to believe that when someone said that a woman had been raped, it meant that a stranger had run up to her in the street and scraped at her skin with a cheese grater. In public school, a couple of older girls consistantly picked on me, and when I told my mom about it, she told me that I needed to stand up for myself. So I asked her if I could take her cheese grater to school. When she asked me why, I told her that I was going to rape them. Horrified, she asked me to explain, and when I was finished, she was laughing so hard that she had to sit down on the floor. Then she (very carefully) explained what it really meant. Even now (20 odd years later), if we're joking around and I'm getting mouthy, she pulls out her cheese grater and threatens to "rape" me.

Jenna