language: speaking

When my sister was little she didn't know what a migraine headache was called. I told her they were called "lobotomies." For a while she used to tell people, "Whenever I get a lobotomy, my head hurts."

When I was younger I loved potpouri. But I always confused potpouri with diarhea, so I would go around stores chanting, "Diarhea! Diarhea!" because I always got excited when I saw a bag of potpouri. (I think I thought this because I pronounced potpouri as poperia, so it sounded like diarhea to me! And to this day I still pronounce it as poperia.)

I once saw a sign that used to the word 'Prohibited" and I asked my dad what he meant. He said it meant it was forbidden.
So for the next few years I believed the word "prohibited" was pronounced "forbidden". It wasn't until I was reading a sign aloud that a friend of mine asked why I said "forbidden" instead of "prohibited" and I realised that they were actually separate words.

After hearing a comedy/parody show where the superheroes referred to their nemeses as "evil fie-ends" I honestly believed for YEARS that the word "fiend" was pronounced "Fie-end". It was highly embarassing when at age 12 my friend pointed out that I'd been mispronouncing it.

My best friend's mum is called Anne, and when I was small I used to call her Antique Anne. I didn't know what antique meant - but she wasn't very happy because she thought I was that she was very old!

When I was young, I thought that the word "utter", when spoken, was acutally "udder." So, I was often confused when adults would say phrases such as "an utter embrassment." I always wondered why a cow's udder would be embarrassed....

when i was younger, instead of saying 'ladies and gentlemen', i used to say 'ladies and jelleyments'

I knew that 'playing hooky' was to skip school, so I logically drew the conclusion that one who plays hooky is called a hooker. Needless to say that when I exclaimed "Lets go be hookers!" to my friends, laughing ensued.

I used to believe that "priceless" meant the same thing as "worthless". I was quite confused when a TV show mentioned that the fossils in a museum were priceless. Surely, those fossils must be worth SOMETHING...

When I was little, I had this poor habit of repeating every angry thing that I heard on TV because I thought it would make me sound cool. For example: "Mommy, what the hell is that?" "Oh, I didn't wanna come to this stupid place anyway." "Everybody SHUT UP!!!!!" "Will ya knock it off already?" Oh yeah, I heard a lot of this stuff from my dad too (not bad language really, but a lot of the above). My parents would slap me up and down for saying it, and of course never tell me why it was wrong.

I used to think that whenever I heard (or read..) someone say 'Nuff said. I thought that it meant that someone named Nuff said it. I used to think "Wow, this Nuff guy must be really popular and smart!"

When I was little, I still mixed up my words.

One day, I walked up to someone and said, "Hello! I'm a terrorist!" ...I meant "tourist"! OH I was wrong!!! lol

You know how you call someone stupid a squirrel? well I was about 2 or 3 and i was in the backseat of our car while we were driving down the road. i dont know what happened, but my dad said to my mom, "I can't believe they let that squirrel drive!" (a person who couldnt drive well) and my mom has told me that i said "mommy! i want to see the squirrel driving a car!"

I used to believe that knock knock jokes were always funny and you could make them up out of any words. My favourite that I made up was:
Knock Knock
(who's there?)
door handle
(door handle who?)
Cat.

When I'd first get home from work, I'd bring in the mail and seem if there was a letter fromauntsusan. My daughter picked this up and began to call my sister Mant Susan

I really believed that a brothel was where you got broth.I heard my aunt talking about "that brothel they call a cafe" once, and whenever I went there, there were always old men sitting around with bowls of home made broth.