language: speaking

When I was little I thought there was a bodily fluid that gave people the ability to talk. No one told me this; I came up with it on my own. I thought that every time a person talked, some of the fluid would be used up, and once it ran out, they would never be able to talk again.

When I was young, I didn't know my language was called, "English". I thought it was called, "Normal". When the gardner at my grandma's house would speak strangely in words I'd never heard before, I'd ask him why he didn't speak, "Normal". He'd laugh and say it was called, "Spanish". Sometimes when he'd speak in Spanish to his co-workers, I'd watch his lips & tounge, but only from a distance, because I was afraid his tounge might fly out from moving so fast!!

I used to think that a Freudian slip was an apron women in the middle ages wore.

When I was three or so, I thought "volley ball" was pronounced 'bally-ball'....cracked everyone up.

When I was little we used to take trips to Cape Cod. I was just learning how to read at the time, and I would see the word and not realize that the "e" was silent, so to me, it was "Cape-a Cod." The worst part was that it took my parents about 2 years to notice that I wasn't saying the name right. When they corrected me, I was in shock! It altered my sense of reality.

Having to emigrate to an English-speaking country at the tender age of 12 with English that I learnt by rote in school, I spoke an alien kind of English, with text-book big words wrapped in an unfortunate grammar and an even more unfortunate accent.

Needless to say I was much parodied in school. But one thing I don't quite get was why my classmates insisted I say 'orgasm' when I said 'organism' in science class. I insisted that they are missing a syllable, while the nastier ones insisted that that was the way it's spoken. Fortunately I have never wavered in my belief - being the bookworm that I am, I found out what's what from a dictionary. I always played dumb though to wind them up!

I was travelling with my Dad in the car one day when I saw him throw an apple core out the window. Thinking this was cool I threw my packet of chips out the window as well. Dad then yelled at me about how it was bad to litter, so when I told him I saw him do it, he simply said "it's different, it's biodegradeable". For years afterwards when my sister and I weren't allowed to stay up and watch TV with Mum and Dad I would tell her "It's biodegradeable" as I thought that meant something adults were allowed to do but not kids.

when i was younger, i didn't understand that "death" did not also mean "deaf". when i was 5, my doctor asked me during a hearing test "can u hear this?" i replied "of course. do u think i'm death??"

When i was little i used to think that people who stuttered had used up their allotted number of words for the particular word they stuttered on, and could'nt say that word again without difficulty

My parents, in an attempt to stimulate my creative impulses, gave me a few boxes full of "stuff" to play with - dress-up clothes, fabric, ribbons, art supplies, interesting toys, beads, you name it. One fabric bit that I had was purple with silver metallic stripes on it. I had seen a TV show recently featuring circus acrobats and thought I'd make myself a skirt with that fabric so I could be an acrobat for Halloween. However, I did not yet know the word for "acrobat". I taught myself how to sew (BADLY) and made an truly awful tiny little miniskirt a week or so later. I ventured into the livingroom to show my parents and visiting grandmother and aunt. My mom, without thinking, said "You look like a prostitute!" She then realized that she probably should not talk about sex workers around her young daughter and would not tell me what it meant. I, therefore, rationalized that "prostitute" was the word for acrobat and went around school the next day telling people - *including my first-grade teacher* - that I wanted to be a prostitute for Halloween!

Until about 2 days ago I thought the saying 'with every fiber of my BEING' was . With every fiber of my BEAN.' I never understood how beans could have fibers, even if they could why would it matter to someone if I used every one, plus I don't have a bean. Was the bean a metaphore? I was a very confused child

I was about 10 years old and I used to belive that 'rape' was simply ripping peoples clothes. Imagine the shock for my teacher when for an exercise in English I wrote the sentence "The dog raped the postman". I thought I was being extremely clever.

For a brief period of about one month i believed the more u talked the shorter your life would be and that if you answered questions with as few words as possible you'd live longer!

I had a German boyfriend whose sister used to pronounce "W" as "v" and "v" as "w". They lived in West Vancouver and she'd always say "Vest Wan". It surprised me that she didn't pronouce Volkswagen as "Wolksvagen".

When my brother was very young, he would pronounce "hamburger" as "hangerber". This became a standard alternate pronunciation in our family. At about 8 years old, while having dinner at a friend's house, I called them "hangerbers" and everyone laughed. I was surprised at their ignorance, and spent a good long time convincing them that "you can say it either way".

When we were younger and went on walks my sister always used to get the binoculars wrong. She used to ask my mum to pass her "big nockers" over so she could have a look out of them.