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When I was little, I pronounced "variety" veye-ar-it-ee, and kept trying to correct my Dad for pronouncing it wrong.
You know that saying long time no see. Well, I used to believe that it meant that some one has seen that other person so long ago, that the sea dried out - as in no sea.
My dad would say "Go to buggery" when he was mad (its an aussie expression, means get lost, or screw you). I'd ask him where that is. He said it was far away, but I decided buggery was just down the road where there was a grumpy old lady who would yell at us. Sometimes he told us to go to buggery and I'd run down the street and sit in front of her house.
There was a cartoon sketch on Sesame Street where a comical guy wearing a barrel talked in rhyme about where all his clothes went. "These are the flies that made off with my ties... these are the moths that ate up my cloth... this is the glutton who ate my last button!" That last had a visual of a squirrel-type critter picking up a button and swallowing it. I thought for a while after that that a glutton was some kind of rodent.
One time in kindergarten, my class had to do this sheet that said, "I have ____ letters in my name." You had to fill in the number of letters in your name. But I didn't know that the space where you fill in missing words is called a "blank," so I misunderstood my teacher when she read the question aloud as "I have blank letters in my name." I thought you had to write the word "blank" in the blank! I also asked how to spell it!
until I was about 12 or 13 (now 20) I thought "making ends meet" was "making ends meat" and that "ends meat" was a really cheap type of meat, and that when people said that, they meant that they were making just enough to afford that meat.
I used to believe that no one really spoke with an American accent, and that it was just something they put on for TV.
I didn't know that "people" was plural for "person," and I actually thought it meant grown-ups. (Possibly because we would always be in big groups of people who are mostly adults)
I use to think "Pardon me" was French for please excuse my Eiffel tower. makes no sense it just sounded french and that was all I knew about France the Eiffel tower
When I was younger, I thought that some how the Spanish people could speak German, and vice versa, for some weird reason.
i used to think Greenwich Mean Time (GMT, uk) was "Village Green Time" and when i asked why, i was told it was because back in the day there was only one sun dial in the town and people would all go by it.
When I was young, I remember hearing my dad say that a co-worker of his was fired. Not knowing the meaning of 'fired' at the time, I pictured his co-worker being attacked a literal wall of fire.
"Better than sliced bread"
I used to believe 'Sliced Bread' was a musical band.
I thought that Saturday was actually "Sadderday" because it was some how sadder than the other days of the week!
I used to believe the show Law and Order was a gardening show called Lawn and Order.
My sister believed for the longest time that the word "Grandma" was actually GRAHAM ma. She even used to call our grandma "Graham cracker." :D
I used to believe the "Lawn and Garden" section in Wal Mart was my uncle's. Lonnie Garden? Makes sense...right? :) To this day I always think about uncle Lonnie everytime the intercom comes on at Wal Mart :) lol
When I was a little kid I thought "End's Meat" was some sort of rare delicacy with a very complicated recipe because I kept hearing about people having a hard time trying to make it.
I used to think the saying "take something for granted" was "take something for granite" and figured it was because granite isn't very valuable so if you take something for granite you don't think its very valuable
I thought eavesdropping was actually "easedropping" because it was so easy!