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I thought eavesdropping was actually "easedropping" because it was so easy!
When I whas 7, I learned my first "bad" word, my mother told me that only criminals use that word.
so i was always thinking that if i say any bad word, the police would come and put me in jail.
When I was little my grandfather told me that my cousin was in a private school. I was so confused. If it was private, how did he know?
Yes, I was the kid that took everything literally
I used to think that retarded was the same word as retired.
i used to think that the word 'clothes' was the plural for 'clo.' so i'd call a sock or a shirt a clo.
I though that there were a certain amount of words, say a million, that I had available to use before I died. I was a quiet kid
When I was a child there was a campaign called "keep Britain Tidy" . I was firmly convinced for many years that what I had heard was keep brit and tidy - like spick and span . At about age 11 it finally dawned that there was no such word as brit!
Having to emigrate to an English-speaking country at the tender age of 12 with English that I learnt by rote in school, I spoke an alien kind of English, with text-book big words wrapped in an unfortunate grammar and an even more unfortunate accent.
Needless to say I was much parodied in school. But one thing I don't quite get was why my classmates insisted I say 'orgasm' when I said 'organism' in science class. I insisted that they are missing a syllable, while the nastier ones insisted that that was the way it's spoken. Fortunately I have never wavered in my belief - being the bookworm that I am, I found out what's what from a dictionary. I always played dumb though to wind them up!
When i was about 6 or 7 my brother (older) told me that VD stood for verbal Diarrhea, meaning that any one who spoke al lot and spoke fast ad Verbal diarrhea.
Once,during my aunt's funeral ( She was quite talkative and also spoke very fast) i over heard some of my relatives discussing her death. Eager to but in i remeber vividly saying "Yeah, i think she had VD. don't you ?" my mom was sipping a drink and nearly the entire contents came out through her nose.
I was introduced to the idea of "soldiers" before "shoulders". The soldiers I knew wore red tunics, bearskins and marched in tight formations. When I found out, via a sweater that my grandmother had knitted for me, that the area between my neck and the top of my arm was in fact a "soldier" I was mystified. For some time I couldn't get the image of a small soldier in bearskin and red tunic sitting on each of my shoulders out of my mind and reasoned that this must've been the origin of the word.
My dad told me at a very young age that I should read the book "To Kill a Mockingbird". However, I heard him wrong and until I hit the seventh grade I called it "Tequila Mockingbird"
I cheerfully told the kid down the street "Good Riddance," when they moved away,thinking in all honesty that it was something people said to each other in a good bye. My other friends mother was furious at me and would not allow me to spend time with him anymore. She didn't explain why to me eiether. I was fearful to ever say it to anyone for many years.
When I was a kid, my mother was forever saying, "Why can't you be a gribble?!" This caused me no end of grief. I could never figure out what the heck a gribble was and why I should want to be one.
It was several years later I realized what a gribble was. I guess I was forever asking my mother questions - especially when she told me to do something. Her favorite thing to say was, "Why can't you be agreeable?!"
I used to think that "lagoon" and "legume" were the same word. I thought a lagoon was so called because it is roughly shaped like a pea pod.
When I was quite young I thought that 'this morning' was 'the smorning', and that it was some strange figure of speech, not a time of day.
"The smorning was cold."
When I was a very young girl I talked a lot and people would make me feel bad by saying how much I talked and that I should talk less. My grandmother heard this and told me this... "Don't worry people who talk a lot never have bad breath because the germs can't live in a mouth that is always moving." I believed this and I always thought that the priest at my church had very bad breath so he must not talk alot. I then proceeded to tell him that he should talk more so his breath wouldn't stink so much. :( Needless to say I got in trouble.
I used to believe that when someone on a swing was "going crooked" they were "going cricket." I spent several years telling my friends they were "going cricket" on the swings before coming to the realization that I was using the wrong word.
I had only heard the word "boobs" used to refer to boobs, never the anatomically correct term (breasts).
So one time at a swim lesson my teacher told me she wanted me to practice "big breaths." Well, I thought she said breasts! Not too familiar with that word, I thought it meant breaching--as in, a whale jumping out of the water!
whenever i went to a restaurant the waitress would come up to the table and ask "soup or salad?" but thats not how i heard it, i thought she was saying "super salad"! i always liked soup better than salad, but i thought for a very long time that a salad was the only choice, and that it must be pretty good to be called a "super salad" dont ask how i didn't figure out the mistake when other people ordered soup except me, it took me a long time to figure out what the waitress was really saying.
i used to think Greenwich Mean Time (GMT, uk) was "Village Green Time" and when i asked why, i was told it was because back in the day there was only one sun dial in the town and people would all go by it.