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My freshman year at Georgia Tech there was a celebrity basketball
game between the Playboy Bunnies and the school's coaches.
After the game the bunnies were chatting with the huge crowd of
young men; some sitting on other's shoulders to see better. One
such fellow, being overwhelmed by thier sexyness, I presume,
bellowed out "I think I'm going to have an organism".
My Dad would always say 'well cut my sock'if I or any other family members told him anything interesting or remarkable. I was 25 when I realised his favourite expression was actually a spoonerism for 'suck my cock'. Oh the long lost innocence of youth.
My friend used to believe that the phrase "missed by a hairs bredth" was really "missed by a Hares breath". To explain this he said " A hare was crossing the road when a car just missed it." The Hare said,"Phew that was close" Thus the hares breath.
when i was little, my big sister convinced me that she had invented and patented the word "wow" and that i was not allowed to say it.
When I was 5, my mom was being sued, and whenever I heard her discussing the lawsuit with my dad, I thought she was saying "lost shoe." So I worried very much that she would never find her lost shoe. It wasn't until I was saying grace at dinner one night and asked God to help my mom find her lost shoe that my parents figured out why I was so intent on helping my mom with her legal problems.
When I was younger, I knew nothing about accents and thought that when someone talked with one, they had gotten into a car accident. One day when my mom's friend who had an accent came over, I said to her "I'm sorry about your accident, but I like your voice!"
When I first heard the poem "The Walrus and the Carpenter" from Alice in Wonderland on tv, I thought the walrus said it was time to talk about "shoes and ships and CEILING wax." I had no idea why anyone would want to wax their ceiling, but I figured it had to be either more Lewis Carroll nonsense or else some kind of obscure ceiling maintenance technique that grownups used.
One day I was in the car with my mom, and I said, "You know, I'm almost sixteen, you don't need to spell around me anymore." She didn't know what I was talking about. "I heard you on the phone, you were spelling a word, and I just wanted to let you know I know what you're spelling."
"What word did I spell?"
Knowing that I was about to say something stupid, she held in her laughs and said, "Okay, then what does that spell?"
"Obgyn," I said, pronouncing it ob-gin.
When I was about 9, I had a 2 year old baby sister and a few months old baby brother. Sometimes, I would play with them and then they gurgle and mumble stuff and look at each other. I used to think they were communicating in some secret baby organization language, and it made the most sense to me. I asked myself: "How come I don't remember those times when I was a baby?".
Then I came to the conclusion that they had a secret Baby organization in some base and that they were members of it. I thought that when members got too old, they erase any memory of the organization.
From then on, I started interrogating my baby sister and brother whenever my parents would leave them alone with me.
I used to believe that "Hello" was a bad word because of the 'Hell' element in it and I used to try to avoid saying it at all costs!
i used to belive cock.. was another word for poop.. and i used to go arond yelling mom i need to take a cock.. or look momy the dog is taking a cock.. lma too much
Before I had started kindergarden, when it was saturday my parents were happy because it was "the weekend, baby" it was also what a dj would say on the radio, so i thought that the weekend was called "the weekend, baby"
Well, when i started school, we were learning the days of the week and when my teacher asked what the days saturday and sunday were called i answered with a smile and said expressively, like a song "Its the weekend BABY" i wondered why everyone laughed, and for the longest time "the weekend" seemed to plain of a word :P
When I was young, I remember hearing my dad say that a co-worker of his was fired. Not knowing the meaning of 'fired' at the time, I pictured his co-worker being attacked a literal wall of fire.
I used to think you could go to jail just by saying a word wrong during a speech.
I used to think that when my parents said "we're having a lie in" was actually "we're having a lion" So used to think there was a pet lion I knew nothing about!
my former colleague, david neilsen, used to belive that there was a nomadic dwelling - perhaps like a yurt - called a "purpose". he inferred this from a figure of speach which he took to mean "what i'm about to say is so obvious it's known by all nomads". the idiom in question was "to all in tents and purposes...."
When I was in primary school, I always wondered why we had to give the teacher a "round of the floors" after assembly. I mean, why on earth would a teacher want a circle of linolum?
It wasn't until many years later I dicovered the word "applause"....
In my neighborhood growing up, all the older people were refugees and they all had thick accents. I thought that when people got "old", they began to speak with accents.
When I was young (about 3), I learned how to pronounce simple words from Sesame Street. They would sound out each letter of a word and then say the whole word. From this, I believed for a short time when you said a new word, you always had to say "buh...buh..." before it (sounding out the letter B), as in buh...buh...hand.
I used to believe that everyone was given a certain number of words to say in their life and if they used them all up to quickly they wouldn't be able to talk when they were older