speaking

When I was little there was this asian teacher at school. She had an asian accent so i was havin trouble understaandin her. I figured that if another asian woman could understand her but i couldn't, it must be because asian people have different shaped ears to white people(me). To solve this problem I tried to twist my ears into different shapes so that i could hear her too.
BOOYAH! It didn't work. I learned nothin.

Tom

I really believed that a brothel was where you got broth.I heard my aunt talking about "that brothel they call a cafe" once, and whenever I went there, there were always old men sitting around with bowls of home made broth.

Libra Lady

I lived in Germany when I was younger, as my Dad was in the British Army. Saddam Hussain was an the TV alot, and for years I used to run around shouting 'Mum 'That Damn Hussain' is on the tele again!'

I coudn't work out why she just laughed at me, now I know.

Emilié

Around 3 years old, I was playing with my siblings and something when wrong. My brother said to my sister "It's your fault," and she replied "No, it's Susan's fault" and I then replied "No it's your fork."

Anon

I once wrote a birthday card to my mum. I decided to put a rhyme in it - but the only thing i could think that rhymed with "birthday".... was "gay". but that was brilliant cos that meant happy...right?
Happy Birthday Mum.
I think you are very gay.

Got some strange looks, i did.

Cj

I used to believe that "digest" meant "dissect". I once asked a guy, "Have you ever digested a frog?". He replied, "You try doing it!"

em'ly

I used to think Casserole was a suit case that roled. My mom once made casserole for dinner and asked where the suitcases were. I saw a backpack and started to role it...i thought it was like an activity we were gonna play for dinner...everyone laughed at me. we had people over too

case role

I used to think the 'okay sign' -- when you put your thumb and middle finger together and stick the rest of your fingers up -- was actually a 'monocle sign' and meant that you lost your monocle or something like that. I only wish I could tell you what made me believe this.

Majusca

I used to think that "string him up" meant that you took someone high up on a tree and used string to tie them to it.

Anon

Sometimes when my parents were trying to get me out of bed or to get me to do something when I'd just been sitting around, they would say, "Up an' at 'em." For many years I heard this as "Up an' Adam." Adam was my older brother's name, so I thought my parents had made that expression up to tell me I should be more energetic like my brother. I didn't figure out what they were really saying till I was a teenager.

Mandi

I used to believe people said "Happy New Year with Leaves" instead of "Happy New Years Eve." My family still reminds me of it over 30 years later. Every year.

Bg

i used to think that bounty hunters hunted bounty paper towels, so i always imagined some guy with a gun shooting big rolls of paper towels. i believed that tell was in 4th grade

Trout

I used to think that every word meant something; I once asked my sister what “purple” meant, and she just said, “It doesn’t mean anything; it’s just the name of a colour.” On a similar note, I also thought that a word was a short form of saying whatever the definition was. Almost like the definition was the word in another language. Like, I thought that a single word could take the place of a small phrase. A random example would be this: saying “pop” was actually like saying the much longer phrase, “a fizzy, carbonated drink that comes in a variety of flavours.” I would be like, “wow, ‘pop’ means ALL that?” I hope this makes sense. I tried describing my thoughts as best I could.

EJ

When I was a kid, I somehow got it into my head that a “scone” was a type of a fish, a shellfish . . . some type of fish. How I got this into my head? . . . I don’t know. Maybe I got scone crossed up with schooner and transposed fishing or the sea with it. It could have been from me looking in my mother’s cookbook while she baked and seeing it grouped amongst other topics - Scallop, Scampi, Scones, Seafood - in their order. I don’t know!

Anyway, I believed it as FACT. And it never got challenged - for whatever reason, it just never came up in conversation. If I had heard it said in a sentence spoken during the course of time, fish may have worked in place of scone in my head, so it never got challenged that way, either. It wasn’t till an episode of ‘Friends’ was on TV, one night some years ago, they were talking about scones and I said something about a scone being a fish and my wife looked at me and said, “WHAT?”. I argued with her that a scone wasn’t some sort of pastry bread, roll thing - IT’S A FISH!

Obviously, I was wrong - but I wouldn’t give in until we got out the dictionary and I saw the proof opposing my error. My face was RED! But you know, I still tried to justify why I thought a scone was a fish - much like I did here! And I’ll go one step further and admit that there’s some weird part of me that still wants to believe a scone is a fish!

Wind Farm Horse

As a kid every time I heard a person say "it's about time" I always replied "so what about it?"

Eli the Kid

I used to believe that L-M-N-O-P was one letter, pronounced ellamenopee, because they say it fast in the alphabet song.

Anon

I used to think allegations were made by alligators.

Anon

My mum told my and my twin brother Weasal, that she could not read our comics to us, as she couldn't read the speech bubbles.
I went years think my poor mother had some rare form of dyslexia, when she just couldn't to bother to do the voices!

Jaki Jordan

i used to believe that random people would win a pulit-surprize.

timmy

My cousin used to climb under the electric fence without hesitation and she would yell over to me "Come on, what is the matter-- are you a-scared?"
I said "Ascared?" She just shrugged and went about her buisness. I finally figured out that if you were A-Fraid then you must be A-scared in her little 8 year old mind. I still think about it and it cracks me up!

Sarah