speaking

My mother speaks excellent English and is somewhat intolerant of us children when our grammar is less than perfect. She enjoys playing with words, however. When we were younger, she tagged rubber spatulas with the nickname "baby robber". When she made icing or cookies or some other treat, the baby of the family had the agreeable task of taking care of any little bits left in the mixing bowl. If a rubber spatula was used to scrape the bowl clean, then the "baby" was "robbed" of part of their prize. Knowing my mother's low tolerance of inaccuracy in speaking, I assumed that was the correct name. Imagine my horror, in seventh grade HomeEc class, no less, when I discovered the truth.

ZCam

When I was about seven, I used to get the words "Wesleyan" and "lesbian" confused (I already knew what a lesbian was, because I have a gay uncle). Anyway, I heard people talking about a Wesleyan church, but I was thinking lesbian. I was quite shocked, as I knew God didn't approve of gays or lesbians.

Anon

When my brother and i were younger, we went through a "parrot" stage (as my mom called it)we used to mimic each other and other people when ever we could, and on our way to an amusement park one summer afternoon, my mother and fathere were talking about how more and more housing was coming into the area....particularly condiminiums. my fater looks at the development and say," Look at all the condos." and with out missing a beat my little brother exclaims right after, "Look at ALL the CONDOMS!!" needless to say my family burst into laughter including my brother and i...not realizing what he had really said.

.*.Tiffany.*.

When I was in Kindergarten, I had the thought implanted in my mind "Say no to things you don't want, and say yes to things you do want". Well, I hadn't really learned the concept of "Would you mind?". One day my friend came up to me during class, and asked "Would you mind if I sat with you?" I responded "Yeah." because I thought saying 'Yes' meant 'Yes, she can sit here'...I was suprised when she suddenly got up & walked away o_o; One day during lunch, my teacher walked over to me, smiled, & said cheerily "You seem to be enjoying lunch, Melissa! Would you mind if I sat with you?" and as usual, I said "Yeah, sure!" cluelessly. Her face changed to one of a shocked & confused look, and she asked, "You don't want me to sit with you?" I looked at her as if she were crazy, and replied, "No! I just said yes!" And then she smiled, and corrected me.

Melissa

My friend used to think that a 'gander' meant a group of geese, not a male goose. So, she thought the expression "What's good for the goose is good for the gander" meant "What's good for one is good for all!" Her version made perfect sense...it was just wrong! :)

Anon

Y'know, tiger eye jewelry is really misleading and cruel to those who don't know what it really is. And don't get me started on artichoke hearts.

Anon

When my dad used to go out and didn't want me to accompany him, he would always tell me that he was going to see a man about a dog. I used to get really excited thinking that he was going to bring a dog home! I never sussed it even though he never came home with a dog.

amanda

i used to believe that the "foggy" was pronounced "froggy". so everytime it was "froggy" in the morning I wondered where all the frogs were

anon

When I was little and I heard that someone was "on the wagon," that they were actually sitting on a wagon somewhere. The reason people would "fall off the wagon" is because it either got too crowded, or they got into a fist fight and were pushed. It made a lot more sense when I learned it was a euphamism for quitting drinking.

darcyn77

My mother used to say we could buy a new house or car when her ship came in.
I believed that it was out at sea crossing the ocean. I am still waiting.

Anon

Until about a minute ago I thought the phrase, "It's a dog eat dog world." Was actually, "It's a doggy dog world." I feel so ashamed. I usually never misunderstand idioms.

14 year old girl

In first grade, the teacher was talking about how we should never take the things in our life for granted. I thouhgt she said take them for "granite", so i was like, I'm not gonna take things for granite-or consider them to be nothing more than a worthless piece of rock.

Holly

I used to think that the word "treefeller" was actually "treefella" and it was a little fella who did something with trees. I wasn't sure what though.

Katie

I never could figure out why two people would talk to eat chover. Whatever "chover" was!?!?!?!

Turns out I mis heard "talk to each other."

But I still want some chover. it sounds like it might taste good ;-)

Anon

When I was a kid I couldn't figure out for the life of me how to say the words "A Adult" without it sounding strange, (At the time I wasn't aware of the word 'an') and often ended up saying "A grown-up".

will was a strange child

I used to think grown-ups had this rule that when someone didn't hear what you said, you had to say it in another way. I remember this happening when I was watching tv with my mom.
The woman on tv said: "I think we should break up" the man would say: "What?!"
and the woman would reply: "It's just not working out".
I found it strange that the woman just didn't repeat what she said since the man didn't hear her. Instead she said something else and I never understood why....

Tomas

I used to believe that "God bless you" was "gableshu," so everytime someone sneezed, I would say "gableshu."

JS

When i was little my mum used to say "i'm not jet-propelled, when we were asking for things, and i wondered who he was.

Je'prepelled (a super guy)

.. that 'approximate' meant precisely, until I was 22 yrs when I was arguing with my friends about what it meant. Had to look in the dictionary to make sure after believing it for so many yrs.

Misconceptions, we have so many!

Me and my sister laughed for 45 minutes streight when we realized that it was WHAT_A_Burger not WaterBurger. I guess neither of us had ever looked up at the spelling on the sign, we just thought it was a stupid name that didnt make sense.

layne