speakingShow most recent or highest rated first.
When I was very young (less than 10, maybe 6 or 7?) my parents were talking to other adults in the house and they must have been talking about how tired they were. I thought I'd be helpful and popped up with "You should take some laxatives", believing that laxatives would help them relax. Needless to say, everyone was stunned and I felt stupid about this for a long time before I ever actually learned what laxatives are.
My grandmother and I were watching my baby sister play on the floor. My grandmother said, "she is priceless, isn't she?" I thought my grandmother meant that my baby sister wasn't worth anything.
I used to think veternarians and vegetarians were the same thing. In my mind, veternarians didn't eat meat because they loved animals. It seemed logical at the time.
I was 14 years old and my mother was talking about veterans day coming up. I looked at her and said " ya know mom, I have never understood why they have a day to celebrate Veterinarians...I mean it's great that they take care of animals but why is it so special to everyone?" My mom started laughing so hard I thought she was going to pee her pants- literally rolling on the ground. When she finally could gather herself she looked at me and said "is that what you have thought your whole life?" and then started laughing again. Took her about 30 minutes before she would explain that I was wrong....I felt like an idiot!
I used to believe that I actually invented the word "excellent".
My youngest sister was always getting her words mixed up.
She thought 'semolina' meant food poisoning (salmonella), and that the UK celebrity, Cilla Black, was called Silly Plank, and that Mum and Dad banked with the Happy National (Abbey National).
I used to think that a cubic foot was how things were measured in Cuba. I'd hear ads for refrigerators with so many cubic feet of space and I just didn't get it. Were all refrigerators made in Cuba? I think I was 12 or 13 before some one set me straight on that one.
Until about 2 days ago I thought the saying 'with every fiber of my BEING' was . With every fiber of my BEAN.' I never understood how beans could have fibers, even if they could why would it matter to someone if I used every one, plus I don't have a bean. Was the bean a metaphore? I was a very confused child
We had an antique lamp that I thought was hideous and for years I thought "Art Deco" was a synonym for ugly.
When I was a kid, I would read product labels. I noticed that a lot of the glass bottles had "ME 5c Deposit" written on them.
I was a really screwed up kid. I knew what bad grammar was *before* I learned that states had abbreviations.
So, I would wonder why they didn't write "I am a 5c deposit," instead of talking like a caveman.
When our parents would go to Las Vegas for the weekend, they always promised to bring back some souvenirs for us. I was absolutely certain that they were really saying "soup and ears," and of course I thought that was a VERY strange thing to eat. Soup and crackers, I could understand, but...
When I was younger I thought that the abbreviation lbs, stood for "illables". I then told people that I weighed some number of illables. It wasn't until middle school that my mom told me illables wasn't a word and it actually stood for pounds.
I thought when people said something was adjacent to something they were actually saying "a Jason to" and I always wondered why (I knew what the phrase meant just couldn't understand why it was called that)
I used to believe that when adults sat around talking, they just chose random words to say. I often wondered how they could sit around doing something so boring for so long.
When I was little, and we were sneaking around trying to be quiet, everytime I peered out into the hallway or around a corner, I would whisper "The ghost is clear". My brother or friends, never knew I was saying "ghost" instead of "coast" because I was whispering, so they didn't correct me. It was a really long time before I discovered it was "coast". I was embarrassed.
I use to believe that it was Henry the Ape and not Henry the 8th
I used to think the word fever was just another word for giraff
I always thought the old saying "spare the rod and spoil the child" was a set of two instructions rather than the warning that the child who does not get whacked occasionally will be spoiled. I much preferred that they both spared the rod AND spoiled the child - if the child was me, at any rate!
I used to think that a dual carriageway was a "jewel carriageway" and was studded with diamonds, rubies and sapphires! Then one day on a journey my mum said something to my dad about stopping for our picnic lunch, and he said "Wait till we get off this dual carriageway." I realised we were actually on one, and not a diamond in sight. It was a terrible disappointment. I've never got over it
when i was little i used to believe that a tornado was the samw as a tomatoes were the same thing. when my dad told me that a tornado was coming to knock our house down, i imagined a giant tomato punching down our house. i had nightmares about it until my dad finally told me the truth, when i was 9.