language: speaking

I watched the Peanuts halloween TV special, "It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown," every year when I was a kid. I got very confused when Linus kept saying that his pumpkin patch had nothing but sincerity "as far as the eye can see" because, besides not knowing what sincerity was, I always heard the last part as "asfarazee I can see." I always wondered what an asfarazee was and why it was so great that Linus could see it.

My niece was so proud of my new puppy and announced that he was "very HAVE." When I asked her what seh meant by that she said "You know, he is BEing very HAVE." Apparently she thought have was a verb and you had to be doing it.

I thought that the word "Union" was pronounced "Onion".

Once, me and my family were naming banks to pass the time. I said "First Onion Bank"...

My mom corrected me...

I used to see the signs for Antiques and thought it was pronounced ANTikews.I don't know at what age I finally made the connection between anTEEKes and Antiques. No wonder I went on to major in English in college! :-)

Once in class i listened to a teacher with a wierd accent talking about "Coffee Sent Up". I could'nt make sense of what he was talking through that one hour. Later on i found out he saying "Coefficient of".

I used to to mix up masturbation with Mastacation, so while at at a family dinner party I decided to show off my vocababulary and knowledge of a cows' digestive system. I sarted talking and said," ...Oh yes, did you know that after MASTURBATING its food teh food has to travel through 4 chambers...." Everybdy started laughing and my mum was mortified.

She wasnt too happy with me later when it sparked some interesting questions from my younger siblings later on...

I used to call a barbeque a "bag-of-poo" up untill I was 10. Still makes me smile when I say it :)

I heard this one from my friend recently. She has a five year old girl named Lola. Lola overheard my friend talking about her step daughter and how she had to go "away for awhile" because she had " a lot of issues". Lola promptly went upstairs where the stepdaughter was packing and when she was finished Lola told her not to forget to pack her issues.

When I was around 12, instead of saying "condos," I'd say "condoms." It took months for my parents to correct me. They thought it was hilarious.

When I was in my seventh grade science class, I kept pronouncing the word organism as orgasm. I wondered why every time my teacher would correct me he would laugh at the same time. It wasn't until I got to high school that I realized what I was saying. LOL

When I was little, my friend used the word "oxymoron." When I asked her what it meant, she said it was a horrible insult. I went around calling people oxymorons for a couple of years until someone finally told me what it really means!

Until I was probably thirteen, when my mom referred to the list she would give my dad to do on weekends as "A Honey-Do List", I always wondered what on earth honeydew melons had to do with it!

When my third child was about 2 years old, she was having a fit in the car because she was hungry. I told her to wait, that when we got home I would give her somthing to "Tide her over", meaning to stave off her hunger til dinner-time. Silence. A moment later, she let out a wail of such grief and fear, and she began to sob hysterically. "What's the matter, honey?" I asked, quite concerned. Between sobs, I discovered she was afraid I was going to tie her up, and so she pleaded with me...."Please, mommy, don't tie me over, please don't tie me over!"

One morning when i was little i made my mum a bowl of grapes for breakfast. I told her i was "doing her a flavour". Once my parents had finally stopped laughing they explained the word was "favour".

I used to think Wong Ming Chuen (a Hong Kong celebrity) is called Orange because of there pronounciations are similar

When I was three or so, I thought "volley ball" was pronounced 'bally-ball'....cracked everyone up.