language: speaking

When we were at school one day in the 8th grade, one of my friends did one of the most funny moments i've seen.
the lesson was really boring untill my friend, REALLY entertained said. IT's CALLED ORGASM, what he though he said was Organisms. Kinda big misunderstanding. Our teacher were allmost lying on the floor laughing, we're still picking it on her!

When I was 4 a Sunday school teacher told me I had to "apologize" to another student for something, except I did not know what that word meant. I thought she said polish your eyes, and that it was slang for "you must now cry" or something. So I started crying and rubbing my eyes. She asked me what was wrong, and I said I didn't know what the word meant. She explained that it meant to say sorry, which I promptly did.

I used to think that if someone was "behind the times", that meant that they were dead. Ironically, I first heard the expression used in a song from a kid's show, and I became upset wondering why they would mention such a terrible thing in a song for little ones.

When growing up in New Orleans I remember my parents saying the "Surgeon Water Board"....I didn't realize until I was an adult and actually looked at a man whole cover that it was the Sewerage and Water Board....well they have the Surgeon General of the U.S. right?

My younger sister always had a hard time saying "cucumbers" -- she'd pronounce it cumcubers which, to anyone past puberty, sounds pretty obscene.

My cousins used to say "hamboogers" too which never sounded like something I wanted to eat.

When I was young, my grandparents had a mutt named Princess. At one of my birthday parties, my grandmother and great aunt were discussing Princess Di. Having only heard a part of the conversation, I burst into tears thinking that my beloved dog Princess had died.

I used to make up jokes when I was very young, that were really stupid but for some reason i thought were hilarious. My favorite went like this:

Q: Why did the fish go into the oven?
A: Because it was wearing sunscreen!

(I know, I know...)

when mi sister was learning to talk, i was around 5 or 6 and i used to think that i was the only one who could understand her because a lot of people were like 'what did she say?' and i'd be all "well, that she's hungry, duh!" but aparently, mi parents and friends could understand her too

I used to believe when people booed at a sports game or comedy, they were actually saying," Oooo!" like they were interested. I thought it was a good thing to be booed.

When I was about 9 or 10 I used to confuse the meanings of "sensitive" and "sensible", so once I was like to a friend "You're very sensible" when actually I meant sensitive, and her brother(6 yrs older than us) was like "No she's not!" and that's when I got to know the real meanings!

I used to believe that the Pokémon psyduck was pronounced 'pussy-duck'

I thought that if intelligent means smart there must also be a word "telligent" which means stupid!

When I was five or six, I was watching TV (I think it was "The Simpsons") and a character mentioned a piece of paper but I misheard and thought she (I'm pretty sure it was a woman) said, "piece of *vapour*".

I used to believe that the phrase "Indian Summer" referred to some sub-continental practice of gift giving. Like they give you a gift that you keep for a while and give back.

I only recently (like past 3 years) realized that the Indian referred to was the american Indian and the people taking the gift back were the Whites - ie Oklahoma!

I've often heard of "taking something too literally", but do we ever hear of taking anything too figuratively? Well, I have done precisely the latter. Growing up, I repeatedly heard the phrase, "Go wash your mouth out with soap and water!", spoken, for example, when someone had said a "dirty word". I always thought that was clearly a figure of speech, and that surely no one had ever been literally required to do that. It wasn't until my first part-time job during college that I heard a co-worker speak of how her mother used to make her wash her mouth out with soap and water. Something about the context in which she was telling it seemed to indicate that her mother made her LITERALLY do that. So I asked her, and she assurred me that indeed her mother used to make her LITERALLY wash her mouth out with soap and water. I was astonished to learn that that was ever more than an outlandish figure of speech.

when i was 4 i thought id run out of words after id told a joke to all my friends and family. i had nothin else to say... and thats all i have to say about that.