language: speaking

When I started kindergarten, my teacher would call out our full names in class ('Jane Marie Smith' instead of just 'Jane Smith'). For the first week and a half, I did not answer and wondered why she never spoke to me. When she asked my why I never answered her, I explained that she never called my name. A heated argument followed and I went home to tell my mom how crazy my teacher was. I was outraged to find out that my middle name was indeed what the teacher had claimed and was NOT Pumpkin. I quietly apologized to my teacher the next day and have not been called "pumpkin" since.

The first time I heard the word "magpie" was in very casual conversation so I wasn't exactly sure what was said. I saw some while in the car with my dad and while pointing them out made the best guess I could at their name. I said "Look at those mudpies." My dad couldn't stop laughing and teased me about it for years even though I was highly embarrassed!

When I was around 5/6, I was told the story about the princess and the pea; only i got it mixed up. As you know; the story goes, "she was such a lady she cuold feel a pea through 7 mattresses. What i thought was, "she was such a lady she could pee through seven mattresses."

My mother used to believe that if she said the world "fuck" she would go to hell. So, when she was really frustrated with something, she would scream "Father Uncle Cousin King!" She later got over her fear of "fuck".

I used to think that my younger brother who was just learning to speak could talk to my even younger cousin who was just a baby (i don't even know where i got this strange idea) but when my cosin would cry i would try and get my younger brother to ask her to stop.

i used to think pedestrians were doctors. and that "serial killers" were "cereal killers." i thought i was a cereal killer because i ate cereal.

When I was younger I thought I had made up the word "nipples" and "thinga-majigger"

When I was younger I loved potpouri. But I always confused potpouri with diarhea, so I would go around stores chanting, "Diarhea! Diarhea!" because I always got excited when I saw a bag of potpouri. (I think I thought this because I pronounced potpouri as poperia, so it sounded like diarhea to me! And to this day I still pronounce it as poperia.)

When I was little, I used to get the words 'terrorist' and 'tourist' confused - so I used to think that tourists travelled around the world killing people.

When I was in kindergarten to third grade, I used to believe that scientific-sounding words were grownup words and that I shouldn't say them. I would try to avoid saying words like "atmosphere," "digestion," "photosynthesis," "abdominal," etc., and if I did have to say them, I got really embarrassed. I was even embarrassed by the song "Let's Go Fly A Kite" in Mary Poppins because it had the line "Up through the atmosphere, up where the air is clear."

When I was young I always used to get the words "prodigy" and "prostitute" mixed up. And my older brother, after a piano lesson wanted to show off too me and out parents. When he was done, we all clapped and I blurted out " Well arent you just a child prostitute!"

This isn't mine, but my sister's. My sister is 5 and she recently saw the commercial for genital herpes. Well, I guess she figured "genital" was "genetic," because when my grandparents were over she proudly whispered to them: "I have genital dyslexia."

I used to think testers were short for testacles! So in the shop i used to say can i try a testacle!

One time there were fireworks outside, which is what I called them, but my parents said that there were fire crackers outside. I thought they were making crackers over a fire!

I thought when people said debit (like a debit card) they were trying to say "debut" and didn't realize the T was silent.

I thought that the term "mild-mannered" meant the person didn't have very good manners, as I knew "mild" meant "not very much" (due to things like mild hot sauce), but had never heard that definition of "manner(ed)" before.