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I'm not sure if this is quite in the right category, but before I learned cursive handwriting, I used to scribble on pages and pages of paper, making sure to put lots of loops in. I had to be ready for the third grade, and I wanted to be ahead of everyone else.
When I was a kid learning how to read and write, I thought "K-N-E-W" was how you spelled the boat("CANOE"). Hey, if the "K" wasn't silent....
When I was in middle school I had to write a paper for English. I remember my mom proof read it and looked at me confused and asked me to clarify by the phrase "I ran next store to borrow bread". I guess each time people would say "next door" I heard "next store". I remember arguing with her about it because I knew I was RIGHT!
It was a harsh reality that day!
Cursive didn't have anything to do with the normal alphabet. You just started with something that looked like a letter and scribbled a little.
I believed that "hamster" was spelled "hampster". I didn't believe Mum, even when she showed me the correct spelling in the dictionary. I assumed the dictionary was wrong.
This is from the same child who could spell "chameleon" at age 5. Most of the kids I knew didn't know what a chameleon was.
I thought that no matter how you arranged any letters, it would always make a word. So 1 day when my teacher was asking for spelling words to put on a test, i Suggested ngfzztplk or something like that and everybody was like huh?
when I was learning my ABC's...you know? the song...I always thought it went " L, N, O, P". because that is how it sounded. you imagine my confusion when I learned to spell my name....Amanda M.
For the longest time, I thought the word "thorough" was just poeple spelling "through" incorrectly. I don't even know when I finally figured it out.
I was raised in Florida, but my mom is from new england and they always drop "R's" and add them in different places when speaking. Like car is pronounced just "ca". Well, until I was 9 or so I thought that "idea" was actually "idear" with an "R" on the end. When my friend pointed out the truth I was so embarassed. My teachers must have thought I was a complete idiot. It was totally my mothers fault.
After I learned the letters of the alphabet, I really wanted to know how you SPELL each letter. Some seemed obvious like bee, kay, dee, em, but I was very curious about some others like H, Q, X, etc. I remember trying to find out all through kindergarden and getting frustrated with no answers, because adults never understood my question. I'm not sure how long it was before I understood that the letters weren't words on their own.
My husbands family went out to eat as a family when he was young to "Chilies." Well if you look at their sign the "l" kind of curls into the first "i" and makes it look like a "J". So my husbands siblings convinced him that Chilies was really Chijies, pronounced Chejees. He called it Chejees until he was 18, but now the whole family calls it that just to make fun of him... guilty as charged!
I used to think "Zed" and "Zee" were two different letters.
My sister was learning the alphabet, which was pretty funny in itself, she'd go "A G K R Y V W, S T..." and then, somewhere in the middle of the mess, she'd scream "Elmo!" (lmno) It was SO funny!!!
One of my friends used to believe that the letter "M" could have as many lines as she wanted so she would do a letter M so it looked bit like MMMMM.
When I was about 4, my friend and I thought that writing in cursive was just writing a letter and then putting a big squiggle behind it, and then putting the next letter with a big squiggle, etc..
"car" in our cursive would be
C~~~ a~~~~ r~~~~~
We didn't figure out what cursive actually was until 3 years later...ooops
Until second grade I thought that the word recipe was pronounced "re-sipe". I had heard people say "reh-su-pe" but I thought that was a different word that meant exactly the same thing. I wondered why nobody ever used "re-sipe" when speaking.
Whenever I went to the department store with my mom and saw the heading "lingerie" I thought you pronounced it leangeree. So when I found some fancy undergarments in my moms drawers I asked her why she had leangeree and if it was for a fancy dance. I don't think she ever knew what I was talking about...
When my mother was very small, she wrote a page of scribble "writing" and showed it to her mother. She remarked that it wasn't "real" writing. My mother was very confused and argued that it was indeed real (in the sense of existing). She thought her mother literally couldn't see the writing.
When I was little I told my parents that I knew how to spell the word light. When they asked me how I told them it was "O-N-O-F-F". They were mystified until they realized that I had been reading the letters printed on the lightswitch!
When I was about 5 years old we used to visit my dad's family in a province called "Michoacan". The word "Mi", in spanish, means "My", so I thought "Choacan" was owned by my father. Every summer I kept asking my dad to take us to his "Choacan"... Everybody laughed really hard, and it took several years for me to understand why, despite repeated attempts to explain it to me!