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When I was about to go into preschool, my mom wanted to teach me the alphabet. One day as I was practicing my letters on a piece of paper, my older brother (he was about 13 or 14 at the time) told me that if you didn't make the line on your little k long enough, then the police would show up and send you to jail. I believed him.
When my mom taught me how to read and write, she compared the lowercase b and d to pregnant women. I took this literally and thought she meant that they actually were pregnant. I always saw lowercase letters as children and was horrified that they were pregnant so young. I knew they must be having a hard time, so I made it a point to always capitalize those letters, even in the middle of words.
I used to believe that 'musician' and 'magician' were the same words. I honestly could not tell the difference. Maybe a part of me knew that music was magical.
When I was learning the alphabet, i got mixed up in the middle and went; Lema nema pee... insead of L M N O P
I used to think that earwigs were a type of toupee that you wear behind your ears.
I used to have a chart of the alphabet on my bedroom wall. I remember, at about the ages of four, spending a substantial amount of time repeating the phonetic sounds of the letters in a vain attempt to find the letter that made the 'ch' sound. Needless to say, I never found it.
I used to think "Disney" was spelled D I S N E P. because they'd loop the "y" and it looked like a "p"!
When I was in kindergarten, we learned the vowels. I drifted off during class, not really paying attention. Afterwords, I came home and told my mom that the vowels were A, E, I, O, U, and sometimes Y and W. She told me W wasn't a vowel - I contested that, yes, it was because my teacher had told me so!! And I held to that belief that W was a vowel up until 5th grade...
I used to (and still do) classify all the colors, abc's, and even numbers into either male or female. For example, a, s, and z are the only female abc's! Red, pink, orange, yellow, and white are girls, and any number that ends with 2, 3, 5, or 8 is a girl! Everything else is a male. Lol :)
I'm from Texas, originally, so you can imagine some of my family has a southern accent/drawl.
In elementary school, we had spelling tests where the teacher would call out ten words and we would try to spell them to see if we knew them by sound, alone.
I turned in my test one day and the teacher asked to see me a little later when she was grading. I'd written "hell" on my test sheet, and she asked why, and I told her, "That's what you said!", and then proceeded to say "hail", thinking of the southern drawl pronunciation for "hell".
She about killed herself laughing.
When I was little I thought that you said minnow in the alphabet. You know m, n, o...
When I first learned the alphabet, I came to the conclusion that some letters were composed of several letters; like B ("Bee"), C ("Cee"), D ("Dee"), F ("Eff"), etc. I ended up thoroughly confusing my mom.
I always had trouble with spelling and reading. I learned all of the rules but that never seemed to help. I was so proud of myself when I learned that "shun" was spelled "tion". So in my mind "otion" definitely spelled ocean.
one day when i was little i drew out the alphabet and i made a story about who loved who. For example a and b loved each other and c and loved each other. Mr C and Mrs D to be exact. Mrs I. and Mrs. K were both in love with Mr. J though. Uh Oh..
I always used to spell cheese 'Cheeze' a-la Cheeze Whiz. I didn't find out I was spelling it incorrectly until I was about 20 and working at a grocery store.
I learned in 3rd grade that (missus) was spelled Mrs. I went home and bet my older brother a "million dollars" that mississippi started with Mrs. I lost and he never let me forget that!
I thought that the letters of the alphabet could be spelled and I would ask my older sister how to spell "B" (I thought "bee") or "S" (I thought "ess"). I thought that everything had to be spelled.
So some people assign genders to numbers... I assigned genders to my name (and family member roles)
C was the mom, I remember.. I was the baby... E was the nurse.. R and R must have been the kids.. etc
When I was in kindergarten, I asked my teaker why there were two "N's" in the alphabet (as in n o p... w x y N z)... My Mom would get the giggles when I asked her so bad, she finally said "Ask your teacher" When I did, I was disappointed to hear that it was AND, not a second N. To this day, I refuse to say and before Z, cause it's not meant to be there. LOL
In preschool, when someone corrected my spelling, I thought that they were just giving me another way to spell a word, and I could use either that way or my way. Some of these words were dolfin/dolphin, weel/wheel, and jun/june.