language: swearing

I believed that if I used bad language God would strike me dead. I was 15yrs.old before I realised that my father swore with ease and was still alive.It never became a habit though.

I thought the word "funky" was a bad word until high school. -What I didn't realize was that I had been saying it without the "n" and that's why it was a bad word!

When I was about eight or nine, I discovered the lovely "f-word". I knew that my grandparents and my dad would pass out if they heard me say it, but I had to "feed my undying obsession" somehow.

So, I wrote it down on little sticky notes and hid them in a "secret place" (under the couch). Every so often, I'd sneak them out, go into another room alone, and read them while laughing hysterically.

Gosh, I can't tell you how many afternoons I sat in my grandparents' room, staring at little yellow pieces of paper with dirty words scribbled all over them.

It's not like every nine-year-old doesn't have problems.

When I was 6, I heard my mom say pitiful, so I snuck under the kitchen table when nobody was looking and whisper "pitiful, pitiful, pitiful,"to myself because I thought a noughty word!!!

My dad had a number of words and phrases to replace bad ones when swearing at the Philadelphia Eagles playing football. Some were typical: "sugar", "son of a gun", "darn it anyhow"... But he had this one, "Jeepers Pelts", which I think is actually some derivation of a Polish swear. But as a kid I thought there was an animal called Jeeper whose pelt (fur) was poisonous, so if it touched you it would make you mad and say "Jeeper's Pelts!!"

When I started 4th grade I didn't know that sticking up your middle finger meant "F**k off". I cut my middle finger on a fork at lunch and it hurt bad and was bleeding. I hopped up holding up my middle finger, not knowing that I was flipping everyone in the caf off. The luch lady came over and told me off.I was in tears by the end and still didn't know what I had done!!!

A good friend of mine had a niece. Apparently at some point one of her mom's clever boyfriends had told her that aligators and crocodiles were called fu**igators and fu**odiles. She was so convinced of this fact that no one could get her to stop saying it, at school church or to the neighbors. My friend and I thought it was hilarious but I've always wondered if she ever learned better, she wasn't a very bright girl.

When I was a kid my father swore so much at other drivers that I believed it was a neccesary part of driving. So when I'd ride my bigwheel up and down our street I would spout obscenities, which embarassed my father so much he hasn't sworn since 1984.

When I was 3 my older sister would say weird words so she wouldn't swear. One of those was 'grape'. She and her friends said this because they wanted pluck annoying people's head off like a grape. Well, one day she was babysitting me, and she said "He is such a grape!" I went to preschool the next day and told somebody my sister said the G word. Today I have problems eating grapes.

I grew up in a very religious household and was always told that cursing was very bad. Around age eleven I began to listening to my own music, even some with curse words. I was always really nervous about playing this music ; I thought God would be so mad he would melt my stereo. Thankfully, it never happened!

My friend once told me that the legendary F word was, in fact, funk. I thought this was the grandest joke, because at my home we had an encyclopedia called Funk and Wagnall's Encyclopedia. I would look at these books and laugh, and my mother thought I was quite mad. Only later did I realize that that N should have been a C. But I still snigger every time I see one of those encyclopedias.

When I was about ten, I didn't yet know what the F word meant. I thought it meant flipping someone off. So one day on the bus, some kids were saying that word. I wanted to sound cool, so I joined in the fun and said, "I effed my cousin." Everyone started laughing, and I was so embarrassed I started to cry! Then one of my friends came up to me and told me what it really meant, and I started crying even more! Now, seven years later, I'm still mortified when I think of that moment.

My parents were from a foreign country. Every time my dad would get mad, he'd let loose with a string of swear words in his native language. Then, when I'd hear an opera where they were screaming or singing loudly, I thought that they were also swearing.

When I was a child, I thought that "ferret" was a bad word, and to call someone a ferret was one of the meanest things you could do. To this day, I cringe when I hear the word.

When I was in third grade, our teacher had left the room for a minute and left me "in charge" of taking names while she was gone. Well, all was well until I told the teacher that a girl said a bad word. She asked me what she said and I told her "the B-Word!" The girl got in trouble and had to write sentences. All for saying "Butt"!

When I was about 7 or 8 I hung around with a girl in the neighborhood who was about 12. One day some kids going by on a school bus flipped us the bird. I ased her what that meant. She said, "What's the worst word you could think of?" I said, "Sh**?" "No, no," she said, "it starts with an 'F.'" I stared at her blankly... "An F then a U..?" she said. Finally she gave up and just whispered it to me. I said, "What does that mean?" Frustrated, she walked away. I didn't find out until about four years later.

I used to believe that in America (I'm English) it was thought of as swearing to stick up your pinkie finger without the others.

I also thought that swearing could get you a heafty prison sentance in America so when we were going on holiday there soon and my dad swore I got upset.

When I started teaching second grade, I was dismayed when a student told on another student for swearing. Apparently he had used the "S word" and even the "S-H word" in front of her. I thought, "What is this country coming to, that 7 year olds use these words?" Later I was pleasantly surprised to learn that the "S word" is Stupid, and the "S-H" word is Shut Up. I love that they think these are terrible words!

I remember somebody telling me that the C-word was "cent" as in the American coin.
I didn't understand how the Americans could get away with swearing all the time.