swearing

I used to believe that every time I said a bad word, tiny invisible elves would walk over and pinch me really hard.

Anon

When I was about 6, my 13 yo cousin told me told me that sh!t meant bird, so I said do my mom, hey look at that cute little sh!t! Needless to say, my cousin was grounded.

Anon

My mother used to believe that the word "shit" was a minor curse on the level of "damn it", and therefore thought it wouldn't do much harm to say it around the kids. She's in her forties, and she only found out the truth recently!

Maryanne

when i was in kindergarten i came home and reported to my mother that a classmate of mine had used the "f-word" today. my mother was horrified, but tried to hide it from me as she asked what word that was. i shielded my face from my younger brother and mouthed "f-a-r-t". she agreed that that was very naughty

Anon

When i was very little, i thought God Damn was a name. My great grandma had been talking to my father and she said, "god damn!" and i heard her and said, "that not god damn, thats my daddy!"

libby

I first learned the F word when I was around 12 years old. I thought it was a cool expressive word, one that my contemporaries and I had coined. At least I thought so until I used it at home one day. Sincerely believing that my parents would have no idea what the word meant, I called my brother an F'er, right in front of them! When I saw the horrified look on their faces, it began to dawn on me that they knew what the word meant! After a severe lecture and threats of other dire consequences, I learned to watch my language (at least around mom and dad).

Dixiestix

My parents were from a foreign country. Every time my dad would get mad, he'd let loose with a string of swear words in his native language. Then, when I'd hear an opera where they were screaming or singing loudly, I thought that they were also swearing.

Anon

When I was just learning to read, I used to see the signs that read 'Menswear', 'Womenswear' and 'Childrenswear' in department stores and would refuse to go into these areas as I was always taught that swearing was wrong.
I only had my mistake pointed out to me after my dad returned one day to find me stearnly telling a shop assistant that they shouldn't be teaching children to swear.
It never put me off shopping though.

Flos

I used to think that "Hitler" was a bad word. I would say "Hit" and then spell out the rest of the name in fear of saying a curse word!

M.

My little brother got a dump truck one year for christmas. when asked what it was, he replied "a dumb f*ck"

maggie

One day whilst coming from a day Johannesburg, we were stuck in a big traffic-jam so in rage my dad shouted “For f*** sake!” and from then on I would say “F*** Sake!” If I couldn’t do something. As much as this was amusing to my parents my Grandmother was coming the next week so they had to try convince me that my dad had actually said ‘Milk Shake’.

Tuvaks Girl

In my fifth grade class years ago, someone said the word "boner" rather quietly. I asked "What's a boner?" but was quickly shushed by my classmates who said it was a bad word. I logically figured out it had something to do with a bone, like the typical white kind with rounded ends that's in your arm. It took me a long time to realize that there was nothing "naughty" about a skeleton!

H-Bomb

When I was two years old, I was having ice cream with my family at some reunion or something. Everyone noticed that I'd stopped eating the ice cream and had been sitting-- for a good 5 minutes-- scowling into my bowl.

"Kelly, what's wrong?" my mom asked.

"Well," I said, "This bug in my ice cream is fucking with me."

Kelly

One time when i was at least 3 or 4 i was takeing my nap on the couch and then i herd my dad coming down the hall and he said he was missing somthing and it was lost then i over herd him saying "Mother f**ker" I did not knew what it ment so i yelled it out loud at preschool becuz I lost my pillow.

Kaitie

I used to think that "cops" was a bad word because my mom wouldn't let me say it. She would get really mad when I did

Anonymous

My mom was an obstetrician, and I got into her books on labour and birth, so I figured I knew what's what. So a kid on the playground asked me a question about sex, and it started "When a man fucks a woman..."

I didn't have the faintest idea what he meant or how it was relevant to babies; at that point, I thought "to fuck" meant "to beat up"... because you tell someone "fuck you," right?

Matt

When I was little I found this book in my brother's room. It was called 'My first words in French'.

I was reading it for a while, then I went to my dad to show him the French I could speak. I didn't know why he was laughing.




I was pronouncing them right.

Toto

When I was in seventh grade, I heard the word "decapitated" for the first time. I didn't know what it meant, but I thought it sounded cool, so I went around using it. I had a really mean gym teacher, and she did something that really made me mad. I blurted out that she was decapitated because I thought it was something you could say instead of cussing. I found out the hard way what it meant when she put me in detention and dragged me to the guidance counselor like I was some kind of terrorist.

keyboardplayer

That people became mute because they said too many bad words

Micah

I'm thinking I was 3 or 4, maybe 5 at the outmost, but I thought the word "fart" refered to something that looked like a purple kangaroo. I knew about passing gas, but just didn't know that that's what the word "fart" meant.

purple kangaroo